Wednesday, November 19, 2008

So much has been done and still so much to do...

Ok, so I know it's been a month since I have written anything, but let me just say it has been a CRAZY month!

Everything has finally and is finally back in it's place and restored including my sanity!

The roof was finally fixed and according to my son, it's no longer "waining" in his room. The walls were torn down and replaced, repainted and he has been back in his room for about 3 weeks now! He also has a big boy bed and he is loving the ability to jump up and down on it.

And to make things even better, Daddy stayed home the week after big boy's room was fixed to paint and prettify baby girl's room. It look FABULOUS and BEAUTIFUL and PERFECT!!!

I know, you want pictures, and I will get those to you all next week when I have a camera after Black Friday! Mine broke not too long ago so I have been without a camera for about 2 months now but alas, they are selling one at Target for $89 the day after thanksgiving and so I will be there with the rest of the crazies at 5 so I can get a good deal. Afterwhich, I will post pictures.

In the meantime I am almost finished with all the bedding and let me say it is looking pretty good. My husband was rather impressed with my sewing abilities, as I am to be honest. It actually hasn't been that difficult and I am pretty proud. All I have left is the bumper which shouldn't be too difficult...I am almost done with all the cutting and that seems to be the most annoying part. So the plan is to have everything done by next week!

I have completed her moses basket as well adn so, let me just say, next week you will be getting lots of pictures of all the fun pink stuff I have been doing.

So...I am off to finish the quilt and promise to write some more very soon!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008


Ok life has been CRAZY!

If you look at the right of your screen you will see that I have about 62 days left before beautiful baby girl makes her way into our world. That's like 10 weeks or something...which I am still talking days not weeks because if I think weeks that just freaks me out a little.

Anyways, I have been working like a crazy lady trying to get as much as I can do, done.

I don't remember if I ever posted about the turmoil that good 'ol Ike caused our household...let's just say...he was not our friend.

Unfortunately our home suffered damage mostly to my son's room which cause everything in the house to be basically upside down for a while.

We moved crazy kid into the what will be nursery. If my camera was working I would show you a pic, but alas, I fell and broke that so...more on that later.

Imagine with one room we have baby's crib and dresser, crazy's toddler bed, rocking chair, a desk (room use to be office), and a huge antique armoire. All in a 12 x 10 room. I think I actually posted about this in my last post now that I think about it so see...rather traumatic.

Anyways, the great news is that after about a month and a half of no progress whatsoever and a game room filled with everything that was in my sons room...the room will be fixed, walls torn down and replaced, painted, etc. etc. by THURSDAY!!!!

Oh happy day!

Thank being said...I also was able to get lost of sewing done and everything is starting to look really great for baby girl. In fact, her room will be painted the base coat on Thursday as well. Then her wonderful daddy is staying home all next week to work on the prettifying of the room which includes wainscotting and diamonds ( I promise to find a camera and take a pic for everyone to see once it is all done!).

So that is where we are. We are planning to fix up crazy's room some, change it up a bit, though not too much because he loves his safari themed room. He is a huge animal fan and we didn't want to change too much at one time so we are just going to add some fun pieces and make it newer.

So...that's where we are. I will continue to update you on the progress.

You have no ideas how thrilled I am that everything is FINALLY falling into place. Beautiful!

"Thank you Jesus that things are starting to look up some. That both my babies will have new, perfect rooms. Continue to give me energy to finish all the planning that I have not been able to do much lately. Thank you for a husband who so diligently got everything done so he could destress me as much as possible. In your precious name, Amen."

Thursday, October 16, 2008


I have lost something. I can't find it. No matter how hard I try, everytime I get close to grabbing it, it slips out of my hand. What have I lost? you ask.

The normal. Normalcy. Normal living. Normal life.


Where have you gone my friend? It has been such a long time since you and I fell into our same ol' pattern. Our ways and habits of yesterday are lost.

Norm left me sometime this summer...actually, perhaps it was earlier this spring.

He didn't want to be around when I was sick and yucky and green. Trying to fight the nausea.

He came back for a short while. A very short while and then left once more with the loss of our patriarch and since then he never really returned. He surely did not come back since Ike came around and so here we are.

Ike really scared him. Norm is nowhere to be found.

My son, for example is still in his baby sister's room. As he states, "It's raining in my room." And is still not fixed. Hopefully the three walls, ceiling and door frame will be fixed inteh next few weeks, but in the meanwhile, his bed is crammed into his sister's room which is holding her crib, her dresser/changing table, our old computer desk, chair and antique armoire. All that in a 10x 13 room.

And when I though maybe norm was about to make his appearance this week. When crazy kid and I finally fell into a nice weekly routine...Monday we clean, have quiet time and go grocery shopping, Tuesday we run errands, spend some quite time, go to the park...Wednesday we go to school, Thursday, another day at school, and Friday a fun day. We had maybe two weeks of that and comes virus. And norm, again lost.

So this is what we are coming out of...someday.

Oh norm, will you ever return?

"Father I am desiring some kind of normalcy. I need some kind of control and my lack of control is really overtaking me. I want something, anything to go according to plan. I know I have to trust you but Lord...I'm having a hard time. Help me to really and truly give it to you and let you deal with it all. I want to be able to do that, but my head is fighting you. Help me give it all up Lord. In your precious name, Amen."

Monday, October 13, 2008

Blog loss

So...I know I have been avaoiding my blog lately. Life has been rather difficult in many aspects and I have just been tired. Of course so much is going on, good and ok, and I could write and tell my readers all kinds of stuff but I am just trying to get my mind wrapped around everything. So, give me one more day and I promise I will have a great read tomorrow! Lots of love.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Positive Thinking

I would usually consider myself to be a positive person. See the glass half full kinda girl. You know...optimistic.

Lately...the optimism has wavered...well, actually it is almost non existent.

And the thing is, despite all the bad that has occurred lately; despite the storms we have faced, teh tragedy and sheer stress of everything there is so much good that is going on as well.

I want so much to focus on that good. To be optimistic where I can see that it definitely outwieghs the bad but I am struggling to do so.

My days are filled with different struggles both emotionally and mentally...I see all these things that are out of my control and I feel like crumbling.

But then there are glimpses of pure joy, excitement and contentment that I can't deny. Sweet moments of watching my son play or goof around and be the perfect little guy he is. Planning the baby room and starting on allthe projects I desire to do for her. Having my husband love on me because I know he wants most of all for me to be me again. To be happy all the time like I use to be.

But those moments are awashed with anxiousness, fear and tormenting thoughts. I want desperately to control my thinking but it's hard. I want to be me and be happy and get over the mourning but it's hard.

I know there is a light somewhere. I know what I have to do if only I could get my heart in the right place.

"Father I am desperate for hope. I am desperate for joy. I am desperate for rest. You know all the struggles we are facing right now. You know the struggles I am facing. Carry me through this...drag me if you have to, but help me to feel your comfort and know you are working it all for good. My mind knows to trust you, my mind knows to have faith and to give it all to you to take care of...but my heart is struggling. My heart is what needs to be mended. I give it to you. In your precious name, Amen."

Monday, September 22, 2008

Mama Estela

Estela - of latin origin meaning "Star."

On February 16th, 1929 a star came into the world.

It was not an ordinary star. Perhaps it did not shine as bright as others; perhaps this star was not as glorious; but from the moment she took her first breath to her last, this star was constant, steadfast, and faithful.

In 1945, at the age of 16, Estella Morales married Jaime Aldana in Guatemala City, Guatemala and thus, she began her life as the wife of a minister and evangelist. From the beginning she was called to be the star that would encourage, direct and strengthen her husband and future family.

Jaime and Estella Aldana traveled all throughout Central America spreading the good news of Christ. Many days were filled with hardships and fear, yet her courage and strength always shone bright in the midst of turmoil. When others around them abandoned them and renounced their God, Estella stood firm in her faith and at her husband’s side as they continued on their journey.

In 1963, she sacrificed all that she knew and was familiar with and left her home for the United States. Jaime had been called to plant one of the first Spanish speaking churches on the Texas border and so, with her husband and children, they began a new life.

Once in the U.S, life was not easy. Though without family or friends nearby and unable to speak the language, never once did Estella’s spark falter or fade.

Many times she could have given up.
Many times she could have broken faith.
She never did.

She paid many prices and sacrificed much so that her family would learn that no matter what, she was faithful, because her God was always faithful.

So, with ten children of various ages to feed, she took stride and did all she could do for her children’s sake. For years she worked two jobs, cleaning hotel rooms and offices while still assisting her husband at their church and singing in the choir. Through the years she became a prayer warrior and every day, without fail, she unceasingly lifted up prayers for her children and grandchildren.

Time went on. Battles of life continued, but Estella still remained constant, steadfast and faithful.

When her husband suffered various strokes; when he could no longer walk or speak, she became his voice. She became his loyal star that never once left his side until he went to be with their Savior.

And she continued to shine bright for her family, a family that had grown to overflowing for she was blessed to have loved 10 children, 18 grandchildren and 7 great-grandchildren.

To her family she was a light source. She was radiant and bright. She helped guide them when life was dark and made clear their uncertain paths. She was a comfort, and encourager and friend.

It is because of her faithfulness to Christ that her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren are also faithful to Him.

She was constant, steadfast and faithful and such beams that shone through her will continue to shine through them and towards our Heavenly Father.

Dedicated to Paula Estela Aldana or "Mamaestela"
February 16, 1929 - September 17, 2008

~Con todo mi amor~

Thursday, September 18, 2008


One month ago yesterday my husband's grandfather passed.
Yesterday morning my sweet grandmother passed.
The hurricane hit on Friday and took pieces of our roof with it. My son's room is basically unlivable - carpet is up and damaged, sheet rock is damage, windows and doors are damaged.

My faith has faltered. My strength is gone. I can't find any joy or peace. My trust in God is lacking. I'm tired.

I'm worried about my baby. I pray that atleast God is protecting her so that she won't feel the pain I am feeling.

All I can do is whisper these lyrics in prayer because I am having a hard time with anyother words...

I'm at a loss for words, there's nothing to say
I sit in silence wondering what led me to this place How did my heart become so lifeless and cold Where did the passion go?

When all my efforts seem like chasing wind. I've used up all my strength and there's nothing left to give. I've lost the feeling and I'm down to the core, I can't fake it anymore.

Here I am at the end, I'm in need of resurrection. Only You can take this empty shell and raise it from the dead.

What I've lost to the world, what seems far beyond redemption, You can take the pieces in Your hand and make me whole again, again.

You speak and all creation falls to its knees. You raise Your hand and calm the waves of the raging sea. You have a way of turning winter to spring. Make something beautiful out of all this suffering.

Here I am once again I'm in need of resurrection. Only You can take this empty shell and raise it from the dead. What I've lost to the world what seems far beyond redemption. You can take the pieces in Your hand and make me whole again, again.

You have a way of turning winter to spring Make something beautiful out of all this suffering.

Nicol Sonberg - Ressurection

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Precious Sights

I just left my son to be put to bed by his father.

It was a rather precious sight and I wish with every ounce of me that I could capture that moment on film.

Just snap away and keep it with me.

Crazy kid is a big boy for his age I guess. One pound for all 37 inches of him. Most days I think, "My goodness child you are so big," especially when I haven't gotten any smaller and when trying to carry said 37 lbs. up the stairs because he fell asleep in the car is quite a challenge.

But today, I looked at him and thought, "He is still so small." His head reaches the door knob.

I watched my husband sit down on the rocker and my son jump into his lap, he looked so small and precious. Of course not anything like those first few months of tinyness, but still small.

He curled up in his father's lap and rested his head on his chest.

Oh my.

He is so independant and very strong willed and sometimes, no, many times, throughout the day I have a hard time parenting. Many times I feel very unsuccessful at this whole mothering thing.

Sometimes I think life would be easier if he were one of those easy going kind of kids. He isn't. He has an opinion and he will not let up.

And then I think, I am gald he is so strong willed. It is a great trait and if we do a good job, maybe he will turn that into great confidence and a strong mind of his own that won't follow the crowd or be swayed in wrong directions.

And tonight as I looked at my two boys holding each other I thought, this kid is the best kid in the world. How long will he fit into his father's arms? Worse, how long will he want to fit into his father's arms? How long will he want mine?

He is so sweet and charming and funny. And he loves us. He loves me. And man, do I love him. I could never ask for anything better. And even though he may test me, his personality is making me into a better person. He teaches me more than I could teach him.

I could never ask for anything more.

"Father, thank you for my son. He is such a precious gift. Thank you for his personality, his spirit, his fun loving nature and his charm. Father I know I am not the best mom, no matter how much I try or even sometimes pretend to be, but I just figured out that even if I am not, he thinks I am. He teaches me things all day long and I thank you for that. Protect my baby, keep him small a little while longer and mostly, let me remember and treasure these moments forever. And let him grow into the man you desire him to be. In your precious name, Amen. "

Monday, September 8, 2008


I am not feeling well today. I have had a sinus infection for the past few days and it has not been much fun. There must be something in the air because it came on rather quickly and with little effort. This is my second sinus infection since being pregnant. I told you about the first here and so far...I am not very happy about it.

My husband and son have both been sick as well. My son has been more sniffily and either he just isn't phased by it or he copes much better than the two of us.

My husband is feeling much better now. He has had quite an advantage being that he can take meds that help him sleep while I suffer through the night, plagued by nastiness and a sore throat. My only comfort is the vicks and chloreseptic spray that sit by the bed.

In fact, my husband had two shots of nyquil last night and even though I kissed him hard right after he drank the medicine, I, unfortunately, did not gain anything from it.

The worst of it is that I have been bitten.
Bitten by the nesting bug. And thus far, few of my attempts have succeeded.

I fianlly got the piece that I needed for my sewing machine, but alas, (you don't hear that word much anymore...alas...I have been re-reading my anne of green gables series and I had to use it), the machine for some reason isn't working. I have looked through the manual, online and have changed everything I needed to change, i.e. needle, tension, etc. and yet nothing seems to work. I even cleaned it some and still...nothing. The thread keeps like bunching underneath inside the groovy thing and I can't seem to figure out why. So, sewing a burp cloth took me 1 hour instead of 10 minutes.

My husband said he would buy me a new one and I am going to take him up on that because I need a new, good one to sew all the projects I have in mind for baby girl.

Nonetheless, I did manage to clean out my "Monica closet," being our downstairs closet. It was scary...I call it my Monica closet, alluding of course to FRIENDS, you know, the one where Monica won't let Chandler into the back closet and he flips out wondering why and thinking she is hiding Richard back there and when he finally gets it open it turns out that closet is super messy and overloaded with junk. Picture a closet with so much stuff in it you can't walk in...yeah, that WAS my "Monica closet."

But now it is clean. Yea me!

And then I organzied our video trunk. Somehome all the videos and DVD we have had been carelessly thrown into that trunk with no organization whatsoever so...I cleaned it and put all the DVD's together and all the vidoes together. Looks good.

So, even though I don't feel great, I got some stuff done. But there is so much more!

"Dear Lord, heal my head and nose and throat father. Help me sleep tonight. I really need my rest. Help my husband and son feel better and evaporate all teh germs in the house. Help me to get all that I need to get done, done. I feel the need to revamp everything so give me the energy and time to do so. You are so good. In your precious name, Amen."

Friday, September 5, 2008

Spanish Speakers

One of our goals is to teach our kids Spanish.
Both my husband and I speak Spanish fluently. We were fortunate and blessed to have spoken it consistently in our homes when we were growing up.

I actually went into Kindergarten speaking broken english with a slight accent. Of course, I caught on rather quickly and actually lost some of my speaking skills. I could always understand it very well and I speak it well, though not often. Now I speak spanish with a slight english accent.

My husband, on the other hand speaks spanish more regularly than I. He has used it throughout his career and since both of his parents and grandparents mainly speak spanish, he always converses with them in it.

Our second language became quite handy in school. I breezed through my courses in High School and got 6 college hours from my AP scores, plus another 4 hours from a CLEP test. My husband did the same and earned 12 hours from the CLEP tests.

We always promised ourselves that our kids would learn Spanish. It is very important to us. Of course, not until recently did we discover that this was going to be a challenge.

The thing is...we don't really speak Spanish at home.

Sometimes when we are talking about people in a nearby vicinity we will speak in Spanish, hoping they don't understand. And then, when he is being mean or taking something too far and we are in other company I will snap at him in Spanish and tell him to quit soon. And then, of course, when we are trying to make a decision without others knowing what we are talking about we pull out our Spanish.

Our friends don't particularly like this and probably get annoyed when we do these things but...what can I say, we are blessed to have this secret language!

So, as I stated before, we are trying to speak more Spanish at home so our kid can pick it up and learn our native language.

So far, this is what he knows...

1. Gracias - Thank You (though he feels he must translate this everytime I say it. I say, "Gracias" and he responds "Thank you." I try to prompt him to say, "De nada," or "your welcome," but for some reason he isn't getting that one.

2. Hola and Adios (though he says the latter with a very gringo accent...I guess we will tackle one thing at a time!)

3. Te quiero - I love you.

4. Mucho - Very much.

5. He can count to 5, though he skips the three, but he skipped three in english for a very long time so...subconciously he does not like the number 3.

6. Mas - more.

Then...we have the other list. The not so appropriate list...and here goes...

1. Conio - This a mostly Cuban term and it means...darn it, sorta.

2. Vaya te Lucy - Go away Lucy (our dog. She is loved, just annoying.)

3. Puchica - um...meaning, for crying out loud, but not so nice. It's like saying Shut instead of S#$&. Kinda, at least that's the idea.

4. Huevitos - Little balls...don't think too hard about this one.

So...I think we are on the right track!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Whoa Mommy...

Monday morning we all happily slept in a bit. We had spent Sunday at a cousin's house swimming and having a great time.

Crazy did not take a nap at all the previous day which was not planned, but luckily for us he managed very well since he was having so much fun swimming with his cousins.

So, due to the lack of sleep, he managed to sleep quite late on Monday. My husband was greatly relieved because he played just as hard as little one...In fact, I'm not sure who had more fun. After 5 hours of volleyball, basketball and animal ball, he was very sore and tired.

Crazy finally trotted down the stairs and climbed into bed with us. He loves it when daddy is home because his routine is to come downstairs and roll around the bed and wrestle with him. Where am I? On the edge of the bed trying to get just a few more seconds of sleep while at the same time trying not to get jabbed.

His new thing is to lift up my shirt and say hi to the baby. He hugs my tummy and says, "Hi baby, what you doin? Taking a bath. Ok baby." I don't know where he picked this up from but this is his little saying to her every day.

He then will proceed to hug "the baby," i.e. my tummy, and kiss the baby and then he will schulerbert the baby.

Well this morning he begins his routine, gets on his knees and tries to lift my shirt. Then, all of a sudden he falls onto his knees and and with big round eyes he says, "Whoa mommy, your tummy's big!"

My husband and I laugh! And I say, "baby is getting bigger." He nods his head in disbelief and pulls up his shirt and says, "My tummy's little but yours is big mama."

So...I guess my tummy is getting big!

"Father, thank you for a healthy, growing baby. Thank you for a sweet brother who loves his sister so much even now. Lord help me as I go into the last few months of this perfect pregnancy. Help me sleep and not be anxious. Help me stay healthy and help me be strong. And give my husband the desire to massage my back every day! Seriously, that would be nice, but mostly help him meet my's hard chasing after a rambunctious toddler and getting bigger every day (that is for the both of us!). Thank you for such a good and caring husband. Protect us. In your precious name, Amen."

Monday, September 1, 2008

Labor Day!

We had a rather uneventful labor day which was good because our weekend was super busy! I am still looking for normalcy and hopefully I will find and rest in it during September! Our calendar is pretty full so I guess we'll see! So anyways...since I really have little to say and even though this is a bit late I am going to do this fun meme about my special "Labor" Day! Go to Rocks in my Dryer for more fun reads.

How long were your labors?

I suppose 10 hours. I had been in the hospital overnight due to slight toxemia which actually wasn't toxemia in the end but either way, crazy was already atleast 8 lbs and timing worked out well. I didn't want a 9 lb baby! So the pitosin began around 5 am, nurses came in and were giving me that stuff every 20 minutes. Nothing. 8 hours later and finally dialated to 2 centimeters they finally broke my water. 2 Hours later I called the doctor in and said I'm done...lets finish this.

How did you know you were in labor?
I wasn't. I had contractions but barely. 1 False alarm a few days before. Apparently all teh TV shows of the past were wrong...they want you like 2 minutes apart not 5!

Where did you deliver?

Yes. HECK yes. Of course I barely dialated but they came in a little after I got around to the 2 and gave me some stuff. The contractions were every minute and at 90% but fortunately I really wasn't hurting. I was more tired and annoyed.

As far as I'm concerned that's the best way to do it! C-sections rock. I should make a t-shirt!

Who delivered?
My Doctor. And a few others were in the room. I don't remember much I was pretty drugged!

So that's about it! We'll see how this next one fares... Happy Labor day!

Heavy Heart

I have a heavy heart.
These past few weeks I have had a very heavy spirit. I have been restless. I have been sensitive to everything. I cry over so many things...more than usual. I have been vulnerable.

And at the same time, I have been weak. Mentally and physically. I have allowed my mind to wander and overtake my emotions and my feelings. I have allowed my mind to gain control once again. I have been needlessly defensive and insensitive towards others as part of my own messed up defense mechanism.

This past, for the past few weeks, I have felt as if all God brought me through at the begining of the year was in vain. All those same rush of insecurities came over me once more and they have been building on each other. I have felt fake and insecure in every surrounding. I felt like I was back in square one.

As I said, this had been building. It didn't just happen. It had slowly been overwhelming me again. And you would think I would do something about it. You think I would see myself cowering and fight or speak truth or something.'s like the enemy knew all that we would be dealing with this month and he just pushed or saw how vulnerable I was and took the cheap shot and I had nothing.

It's my fault. Have I prayed about this? Desperate prayers...maybe. Have I read the word and fought back? No. I took it. I took the shot and fell.

Worse...I put up crazy defenses and in the process hurt a friend.

And I know we are fine. I know we'll be great. But I am so angry at myself because I could have been on my guard. I could have guarded my tongue and my heart. I was vulnerable and instead of reaching out I struck another's feelings. It hurts. I might even venture to say it is hurting me now more than I hurt her. My mind is allowing it to all fester and I have to find the will to fight it.

But heart has just been so heavy and tired. I need strength.

"Father forgive me for hurting my precious friend. Forgive me for not forgiving myself. Forgive me for being weak. Forgive me for putting up a wall and falling to the lies of the enemy. Forgive me for not having control of my mind and of my tongue. Forgive me for not holding on to you. Forgive me for having to learn these lessons over and over again. Give me strength. Mend my heart and continue to transform my mind. lighten my heart and spirit. Comfort me. In your precious name, Amen."

Friday, August 29, 2008

Summer Lovin'

As I stated here, this summer has been busy with lots of things both unexpected and planned.

All in all it went by pretty fast and though I hate to see it end, I am ready for some colder weather. Of course around here...we ain't getting that for a while.

In honor of the Summer Spectacle over at We are THAT family, I am going to post on how spectacular our summer moments were...

I am a Summer fan. I love summertime. I love the warm weather, the pool and as many of you know, the tan. Summers have always been filled with exciting things, vacations and fun memories for me. We are beach people and so in summer we head to the beach. This summer, unlike last summer, we did not take crazy to the beach...I suppose time got away from us, but for the first time in what seems like ages, my hubby and I did vacation on the beautiful beaches of South Florida.

Now...We had an amazing trip. Everything was perfect. The weather was great, the food was great and we had a wonderful time being together "baby free." Of course being in South Florida we did see more skin than usual.

My thing is, if you work out and earned that body I say flaunt it! Or if you are just one of those annoying people who have good genes, "Hey, do what you want." But if you just ain't in either one of those places...please keep somewhat covered. A brazilian thong is mean for very few people!

Now one woman who was near our beach area was there with her husband and 2 small children. She had a very attractive, generally modest brazilian thong on. For those of you who don't know, a brazilian thong is not dental floss, it is more V shaped in teh back covering only a small percentage, but there is more coverage.

So anyways, this woman for having two small kids looked incredible. I applauded her.

Another woman a few days later was wearing a similar suit and well...she had two kids as well. I applauded her confidence!

Another thing we saw a lot of was tatoos. Man! People like to mark themselves permanently. There was one lady, probably in her 30's and she had a tatoo placed in a rather unconventional spot as far as I could see. Unfortunately all I saw were two "crabby" like arms coming out of her small suit and for the life of me I could not tell what the tatoo was of. It was pretty bad because both my husband and I kept trying to nonchalantly figure out what was basically in her hoohaa area without staring too much.

Another very cute young girl had these huge wings on her back...just in case she wanted to go flying I guess.

I am not opposed to tatoos, I am opposed to needles, but I do think that if you are gonna get something...especially as a woman...there are few places that would work well and I better be darn sure that I am going to like the permanence...there is nothing like seeing very old people with tatoos. It makes you question that whale, that is, dolphin on your hip.

That was one of the highlights of my summer. It had been a while where it was just me and my beloved and we enjoyed every minute.

We also went lots of places with crazy like the Zoo, children's museum and of course the pool. In fact, he has a lot better tan than all of us! We also went fishing with him and fed the ducks which he loves to do.

So here are some pics that pretty much sum up the rest! Fun times...

Shopping in Florida...Baby belly starting to pop!

Looking nice and tan!

What a hottie!

Hanging out at home all goofy! World record holder
and Olympic champion...4 "Tete's" in one big mouth!

Fishing with Dad. Reel it in baby!

I got one! Whoa baby!

Cruising at the Museum with my cousins!

Painting it up!

Picking nana's from our backyard!

And that, in a nut shell was our summer! What a blast! And there is so much more to come in the fall and winter!

For more fun summer spectacles, click here.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Vanity vs. Wal-mart

I have sunk rather low.

It is sad. Pathetic. Kinda gross.

Today I ventured out with my son to Wal-mart.

Let me say that though I am not completely against the store, it is not my favorite place to go. I like the low prices, I like the fact that I can get batteries, sippy cups and cereal all a the same place. I hate thier produce, I hate that even if I am looking for just one thing I still spend an hour there and I hate that it is rather far from me so I have to make a whole list of things in order for me to justify that I need to go over there.

But, today was one of those days. I made a list that included batteries, underware for my son, a back pack and lunch box for my son and a surge protector with a long cord.

I was having one of those scrub days. I woke up tired and achy and I feel like I have grown in the last hour.

I finally got out of my pajamas and put on a ratty t-shirt and some gauchos. I did take a shower but did not bother with my hair, I merely pulled it up in a pony tail with all my wisps sticking out. And so with no makeup on I put crazy in the car and we headed out.

On my way over I contemplated on putting on atleast some foundation and blush but this time laziness won over vanity.

You must understand that it is rare that I go out without makeup. I was taught at a young age that that just is not done. My mother always looks great and one of my friends once told me I always look so well put together. It is a vanity thing. It is a pride thing. It's not a good thing. I have come a long way, for in the past I would never had ventured out like this unless I had dark sunglasses on. What can I say, my confidence sometimes resides in my outward appearance.

So on my way to Wal mart I am vainly praying I don't see anyone I know there. And fortunately, I don't.

And of course, I fit right in. Everywhere I looked I saw people with no make up, too tight pants, muffin tops and grown women wearing t-shirts with tinker bell on them.

I wish I could tell you my lack of "put togetherness" was liberating, but it wasn't. Fortunately there are very few mirrors in walmart. But, it is nice not having to put on the mask, even the oil free, spf 15 kind every once in a while. I'm a work in progress and maybe someday I will have the courage to go to Target as carefree...but I always see someone at Target.

"Father my vanity gets me in trouble so many times. It's almost as if that vanity and pride are etched in me and you are the only one who can either mold it away or fill it with something else. Please continue to do a good work in me. I get so far and then I fall so many steps is frustrating and so annoying! Thank you for not giving up on me and atleast teaching me to laugh at myself. In your precious name, Amen."

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The Translator

I have become a translator in our family. I am now fluent in toddlerism. I can pretty much understand most of the words that come out of my kids mouth and am quite proud of myself for doing so. Thank goodness, for his father's sake, his words are pretty clear, but most of the time I wonder how he and his father get along when I am not around.

Early on Saturday, crazy kid woke up and came downstairs. Hubs was in the shower and I was still in bed since it was my "day off."

I have deemed Saturday as my day off because it is out of the everyday routine for me. My husband is home and therefore he takes on the parental duties for atleast that morning. He thinks this is unfair because he states that he therefore never gets a day off.

This is where he is wrong.

You see him getting up early and taking on the parental duties is out of his routine. In fact, he is usually gone by the time crazy wakes and on those days I put on the 500 different hats and go about my duties. So I gave him the gift of having one on one time with his precious son as I get to sleep in or go shopping or have mommy alone time.

So this particular Saturday my son come tripping down the stairs with his "Bie" in hand and his "tete" in his mouth. He enters the room and comes over to my side and quietly says, "Good mowning mama." I grunt back a reply and then he drags his "Bie" into our bathroom letting all the light come in through the doors. I cover my head with a pillow as my son yells out to his father "Good mowning daddy."

At this time I am already irritated. I am aawaken by bright florescent lights, the stream from the shower and a loud toddler.

My son comes back into the room, leaving the bathroom door still ajar. He begins to play with his cars on the floor and then he gets up and slams the door of my room. Why? I have no idea. He doesn't leave the room he just quickly stands up and says, "Oh momma, I cwose da dor, don't worry. Stay in bed momma." Then he turns around and goes back into the bathroom, not intending to close this door whatsoever and he yells to his father, "Daddy, I shut da dor."

And his father yells back, "You ate yogurt?"

My son, becuase his father does not understand him, of course gets louder thinking, "he must not hear me."

"Dadda, I shut da dowr."

"You want to watch George?"

Now I am muttering under my breath, "what the freak, he is speaking clearly why can't you understand your son..."

"No, dadda, I shut da dooooooooooooooor."

And I chime in, " HE SHUT THE DOOR."

"Oh ok, I'll put George on for you in a minute."

Lord help that big man and the little man as well!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Blessed are those who mourn...

It has been a trying and exhausting week.

My eyes hurt from the overflow of tears.
My body aches from the stress.
My head hurts from the lack of sleep.

On Sunday, August 17, 2004 my husband's grandfather, "Patuto" went to be with our Savior early that morning.

Priase to our God that it was easy and peaceful and painless.

He is home and the rest of us who are left here for the time are hurting from the loss of a fun loving, sweet, caring, simple man. A man who would and did sacrifice everything for his family. Who was always so proud of his children and grandchildren and even great grandchildren.

We simply can't get over the fact that he is gone.
He was just here. In fact, not even three weeks ago did he come over for dinner and he sat on my couch and laughed at my son do his famous baseball swing (it involved spitting and grabbing).

And now we aren't going to see him again. He will never walk into a room with a new joke to tell. He will never go into our back yard and inspect our plants and trees. He will never tell us the stories of growing up in Cuba.

We have lost other loved ones before, but for some reason this one is different. Perhaps we weren't ready. Perhaps it really never entered our minds that he wouldn't be here. He had such a presence and now...Perhaps it is because he was a big part of our lives, someone who lived less than 5 miles away and who we saw atleast twice a month.

How long will we grieve? I don't know.

"Father, your word says, "Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted." We need your comfort Lord. We have so much hope in you and we know that we will see Patuto again, but it still hurts Lord. You understand, father, you cried when your friend Lazurus died; You know our pain. Help us get through this. Help us remember our hope in you. Heal our hearts. In your precious name, Amen."

Thursday, August 14, 2008


It was January, 1959.

Fidel Castro marches into Havana and takes over Cuba.

Many thought he would be a good change. He made so many promises and gave so much hope. He was charismatic and charming and had the potential to change Cuba.

A few hundred miles away in the a small city of Elia, outside of Camaguey, a young man felt in his heart that no good would come of this. The promises seemed far fetched, as if so much was not being said.

He worried at the outcome of his beloved country. A country that was in many ways paradise with it's white sand beaches, perfect blue coast and sweet smells of tobacco, rum, sugarcane and pineapple lingering in every town. In his eyes, Cuba was Eden.

His family had been so blessed from the soil, la tierra. From the land his father grew plantations filled with pineapples, sugarcane and where hundreds of cows grazed. He had expanded on their properties, creating factories for ice and lumber and their electric company provided electricity for the first time to the five towns that surrounded them.

He loved his land. It was his inheritance. It was what he would leave to his children and their children.

Life was good and full and blessed. His father had provided for him and his children and they lacked nothing.

Then, the storm came in. At first a few clouds rolled by, but before the end of that year the hurricane force would take over.

Banks confiscated their savings. "All you have now belongs to the people of Cuba." Land was confiscated, possessions were distributed to others and homes were quartered.

Before it could get any worse, He left. He took his wife and three children and with 500 dollars in his pocket, they boarded a plane headed for Mexico hoping that this regime would all blow over and believing that they would soon return.

He left all his remaining assets to his younger brother who would take care of everything when things changed.

In Mexico he worked as a ranch foreman.

A few years later he put his wife and children on a raft and crossed the Rio Grande.

American Residents as soon as they touched the free soil.

He has never been back to Cuba. Paradise was lost again.
His brother and mother came over a few years later.

The land, the factories, all that they had worked and sweat for was gone. Stolen.
That same land is now baseball fields and dirty, old apartment complexes.

He continued to work hard through all his years. The family grew and were all successful. He is blessed with grandchildren and great grandchildren. He has a legacy. Perhaps the land and the dream was stolen, but the legacy will live on for generations. And maybe one day his sons will return to Eden.

The Portilla men on Patuto's 80th Birthday. Sam had been
born a month before.

Patuto and Sam, so far the last of the Portilla boys.

Patuto, Orlando and Sam. I think they kinda' look alike.
They have the same facial structure.

"Father thank you for legacies and for your hand that was over every detail of this family. Thank you that we are a family of believers. Thank you for stories that I will tell my children again and again. Thank you for such patriarchs who do all that they can for the good of their loved ones. In your precious name, Amen."

Sincerely, from me to you.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008


Today was a rather stressful day. A very stressful day.

It started at 9:00 when I got a phone call from my mother in law. "Patuto (husbands grandfather) is going to the hospital. He is having a hard time breathing and is disoriented."

My heart fell. Fear overwhelmed me. Every bad thought and diagnosis entered my mind.

Nothing was known. We had to wait.

I called my husband and he could hear the fear in my voice. I scared him. He got on the phone and called different people. "We can't start to worry yet," he said to me after awhile.

I am not a negative person. Usually I am very positive. But when loved ones are in the hospital and when I have little control, my defense mechanism is to prepare for the worst.

What is the worst thing that can happen? I make a list of such things in my head and then I make a list of the things I need to get done before that occurs.

I got on the phone. I called friends to let them know what was going on and to make sure if I needed someone to watch my kid I could quickly drop him off at a moment's notice. I then cleaned my house. I put away the dishes, did a load of laundry, swept the floors, cleaned the bathrooms and continued to pick up the toys my little one kept bringing out.

I kept busy and thinking, if this goes bad atleast the house is clean and everything else is covered.

We didn't hear any news until about 4:00 in the afternoon.

Good news? No. But not terrible news. Hopeful news.

"Thank you Jesus for hope. Even if it is a glimmer in the midst of fearful and uncontrollable situations. Thank you God for reminding me that You are always in control of everything. I pray for Patuto as he is asleep in his hospital room. Pour your peace and presence all over that room tonight. Place your healing hands on his lungs, heart and every organ in his body. Bring peace to his wife and rest. Let tomorrow be a day of good news. In your precious name, Amen."

Monday, August 11, 2008


I have come to the conclusion that summer's are busy for us. I don't remember summer's being this busy the first few years of our marriage, but these past two summer's have been kinda crazy. And, it's not like we are busy because of the fabulous vacations we are taking because unfortunately extravagant vacations are a dream not a reality.

All to say that we ave been busy. With what? you ask. I don't really know.

I suppose June wasn't that busy, but July was crazy! And it came and went so fast.

Fortunately, our August is for the most part not busy!


I do have lost of things to do as I mentioned before here.

But we are on schedule for the most part.

As far as Baby girl is concerned we have made progress. We were blessed with an amazing deal for a crib and dresser. It is beautiful and exactly what I wanted.

So I have made a few ventures to home depot and have about 100 swatches of various shades of pink.

Then I dragged my beautiful husband to this huge fabric store downtown a few saturdays ago and purchased the fabric for her bedding. We got a fabulous deal because it just happened to be on sale and perfect and the 7 yards of satin cost us $35.00. Can you believe it! I also bought the silk organza for the crib skirt and all I need to do is find some pink velvet. So fun!

So...progress! it's a good thing.

And in about 4 weeks, crazy kid will be starting mother's day out for two days a week! hold on a sec...ok I have regained my composure, the tears have subsided for now.

So I have to get him ready for that...I need to get him a back pack and nap mat his teachers and...hold on I have something in my eye...

I guess August is busy in another way. So much to do! One baby on the way and my other baby...looks more and more like a big boy.

"Father thank you so much for this kind of busyness. The fun kind. The project filled kind. The kind that is filled with exciting fulfillment in in the end. Lord help me to keep my eyes on you. To not get overwhelmed but to enjoy every moment. Thank you for blessing us with great deals on all our purchases and continue to help me find good deals and be wise over the purchases I make. You know how I can get...I mean, have you seen the racks of pink! Thank you Jesus. In your precious name, Amen."

For more tackles, click here.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Weather it'

So I will be turning off my computer for at least a day due to the weather out here.

We are suppose to be hit by hurricane Ed so my one precaution is to shut down my computer.

No...I am not worried. At all.
Maybe I should be. Maybe I am too nonchalant about hurricanes.
I'm sure some of you out there would be freaking out, buying gallons of water, canned goods and generators...not me.

Now, if it were a category 3 hurricane, I would be more cautious. I would have gone to Wal-mart this morning and bought a few items. But, it's only a one so...yeah...

Of course, you'd think this was a huge deal by the way people are flippin'. According to a friend of mine, the water was gone at Wal-mart by 4 this afternoon. Lines were forming at gas stations and some even boarded up windows in our neighborhood. Seriously, people! Come on!

It's not the hurricane we should worry about, but the rain. That could be bad, but fortunately it has never flooded around here. And tornadoes, I hate tornadoes. But what are the chances?

But I guess it's like if you lived in "Tornado Alley," which by the way, I would move so far from anything called the "alley." Think about it. Only bad things happen in alley's. Muggings, shootings, being beaten up by cops, strangers lurking about, being sold a fake coach bag. All bad things.

Anyways, according to a reliable source ( my very good friend from college - a good ol' texan girl who lived in the alley for a while but fortunately moved back to texas) says that when a tornado hits, people don't even go underground. They continue what they are doing without a hitch. She says the sirens would go off and they continue to eat their barbecue! CRAZY!

And Earthquakes...Now that is scary. I will never live in California or Japan. No way! Apparently when "tremors" happen, which apparently happen often but don't count as earthquakes, people aren't even phased.

If the ground is moving underneath me, "OH MY GOODNESS!" I mean, the bible talks about earthquakes a lot, so I'm thinking those are serious things. I have never read anything about hurricanes. So...I'll take my chances here by the gulf.

I have my flashlight, new batteries, candles and that's about it. I hope we don't lose power because then I will have to entertain my son all day without TV. (Don't worry, we stick by that less than two hour rule...two in the morning and two in the afternoon.) Thank goodness for portable DVD players!

So...all that to say "Goodnight and see you after the storm!" I'm going to go charge that DVD player right now.

"Dear Father, protect my family. Protect my home, from property line to property line. This is your home Lord, so encamp your angels all around. Do not let any harm come to it or my family where ever they are during this storm. And for all those out there weathering the storm or maybe another kind of storm, wrap your arms around them so that peace that passeth all understanding will fill their hearts. Thank you for being so merciful and good. In your precious name, Amen."

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Likable me...

I had one of those more like one of those weeks.

One of my struggles, one of my many struggles, is my desire to be liked. I want people to like me. I care about what people think about me. So much so that at times I will pretend or be what I think others want me to be.

Writing this, I feel very pathetic.'s truth. Crazy truth.

I became very aware of this and how wrong it is this past winter. It was one of the main things God was shaking, no, burning out of my life. And though I can rejoice and say I don't struggle with this as much, nor do I find myself pretending as much, like most, I sometimes fall into this hole.

I had my feelings hurt this past week. Perhaps it was not intentional, perhaps no one noticed, perhaps I took it all wrong. Either way I was hurting. And instead of going to God and saying help me with this, I put a couple of bricks on my walls of anger and resentment and bitterness. The bricks God and I had worked so hard at breaking, I quickly rebuilt.

And of course I became vulnerable. Vulnerable to attacks, vulnerable to my own mind and imagination. I went along, but my head tormented me. Immediately thoughts of low self esteem, envy and unworthiness plagued me.

I prayed, but my prayers weren't prayers of battle, but prayers of pity. "Lord, I thought we were done. Please take this away. Why do I feel this way. Why am I thinking this way..."

I needed to battle my mind, but I had left my armor. My guard was down. I retreated.

I was invited to go to the zoo with some great friends. Friends who I know love me and who I love dearly. Friends who would never think or do anything to hurt me. Friends I trust and who know me very well.

I was all for it. A day at the Zoo. Crazy kid loves the zoo.

But then my mind entrapped me. I began to cower. And instead of telling my head to shut up, I listened and retreated.

I said I wasn't going to go after all, I didn't want to bear the heat.

Yes, that was partly true. I hate being hot and that is one of the downfalls of being pregnant. But mostly...I didn't want to pretend. I didn't want to battle my mind the whole time. I didn't want to question everything I said or did. I didn't want to wonder what others thought.

I figured it would be better to be alone and deal with my head alone. Then of course, lonliness sets in very fast.

I should have gone. We would have had a great time. Sure I kept myself busy and I told myself it would have been too hot and I had other things to do but...truth hurts.

I let my mind win. I was the coward and I retreated.

I cried out to God. I filled my mind with his words and not my own. Finally.

Why couldn't I have done that in the first place. How much more and how many more times must I learn this again?

Why do I need to have others like me so much? Am I really that needy? Is this a real need or a void or simply a vulnerable piece of me when I have such feelings? I don't know.

Do I need people to show me they care or is it just when I feel this way? I was always taught not to be needy...but maybe I am, I'm just really good at pretending I'm not. So good I convince myself. I don't know.

Maybe I need to keep working on filling that need with Christ.

"Father, you know me. You know the number of hairs on my head. You know my weakness. I know all that matters is what You think of me and how I glorify you...but I need to keep telling my head that. My greatest desire is to need nothing but You...but I struggle with that. My flesh wants to be wanted, needed, liked. Why Lord? Father purify me of this selfish desire. Continue to mold me. Continue to cleanse me until I am your reflection. Remind me that I am worth far more than rubies and that you want me, you need me for your glory and you love me. Thank you Father for bringing me to my knees and reminding me that I am nothing without you. In your precious name, Amen."

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Mary Janes

When I was about 17 my grandmother taught me how to knit. To be honest, I have knitted very few things...a black mohair scarf, another purple attempt at a scarf (it didn't make it to the end) and what started as a bllanket but soon ended as a pot holder.

However, once I got pregnant with crazy kid I began to knit a bit more. I knew I didn't have the patience or skill to do a blanket, but I could make booties and so I did. His first pair of shoes where white booties with a blue ribbon stitched lovingly by me. He wore them on his way home from the hospital and he wore them at his dedication, plus some times in between.

So...that being said I am now working on a pair of booties for baby. And then I started thinking, I am going to see if I can make some cute shoes for her to wear as well, she's born in december so it's perfect bootie wearing time!

In my searching I came upon this website for super cute mary janes and to top it off, they look super easy to make. So I am adding the pattern here and website and if you would like to take a stab...Go for it. In the meantime, I will keep you posted on my progress.

Size0-6 months Foot length: Approximately 3 inches (7.5cm) Ankle:Approximately 4 inches (10cm) circumference with strap buttoned

What You'll NeedYarn: Sport weight yarn, 137 yards [125m]
Notions: Stitch holder; tapestry needle; 2 small buttons, about 1/4-1/2" (6-1.3cm); sewing needle and thread to match yarn

Gauge24 stitches and 52 rows=4" (10cm)

Making the Left Bootie

Cast on 31 stitches.
Row 1: Knit all stitches.

Row 2: Knit 1, make 1, knit 14, make 1, knit 1, make 1, knit 14, make 1, knit 1. (35 stitches)

Row 3: Knit.

Row 4: Knit 2, make 1, knit 14, make 1, knit 3, make 1, knit 14, make 1, knit 2. (39 stitches)

Row 5: Knit.

Row 6: Knit 3, make 1, knit 14, make 1, knit 5, make 1, knit 14, make 1, knit 3. (43 stitches)

Row 7: Knit.

Row 8: Knit 4, make 1, knit 14, make 1, knit 7, make 1, knit 14, make 1, knit 4. (47 stitches

)Rows 9-17: Knit all stitches.

Row 18: Knit 15, (work slip slip knit decrease) 4 times, knit 1, (knit 2 together) 4 times, knit 15. (39 stitches)

Row 19: Knit.

Row 20: Knit 9, beginning with next 2 stitches bind off 21 stitches, knit across remaining 9 stitches. (This includes 1 stitch already on right needle after the bind-off.)

Put first set of 9 stitches on holder.
Rows 21-23: Knit 9 stitches on needle.
Bind off all 9 stitches; cut yarn.
Rejoin yarn where you started binding off 21 stitches. Cast on 12 stitches using cable cast-on method.

Row 21: Knit across 12 new stitches and 9 from holder. (21 stitches total) Row 22 (buttonhole row): Knit 18, knit 2 together, yarn over, knit 1. (21 stitches on needle)Row 23: Knit.
Bind off all stitches.

Making the Right Bootie

Work same as for left bootie through row 20.

Put first set of 9 stitches on holder.
Row 21: Knit 9 stitches on needle; turn work and cast on 12 stitches at end of row using cable cast-on method.

Row 22: Knit 21 stitches (beginning with the 12 new stitches).

Row 23 (buttonhole row): Knit 18, knit 2 together, yarn over, knit 1.

Row 24: Knit all 21 stitches.
Bind off all stitches on needle. Cut yarn leaving 40 (10cm) tail to weave in later. Rejoin yarn to stitches on holder.R

ows 21-23: Knit 9 stitches on needle.
Bind off all stitches.


Fold bootie with wrong sides together, and using the invisible seam for garter stitch, sew together back of bootie.
Bottom edges: With wrong sides together, whipstitch cast-on edges together.
Buttons: On the outside of the bootie, opposite the strap side, attach button with sewing needle and matching thread (used doubled), stitching through the holes in the button (or over a button shank) several times. Weave sewing thread through several stitches to secure. (Note: Small buttons may pose a choking hazard, so be sure to stitch securely to bootie.)

Weave in all yarn ends to wrong side of work.

Making baby booties works for me! For more stuff that works, click here.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

To do in 6 months or less...

So, now that we know we are having a baby girl I have an extensive to do list which must be completed before December!

1. Paint room PINK!
2. Make bedding/curtains/diaper cloths/and other decorative projects I have in mind...
3. Get the furniture that is now in the room out of the room and in the attic or on craigs list.
4. Figure out what to do with the furniture that we are planning to keep around and pray it fits wherever it needs to fit.
5. Register.
6. Find all the baby stuff that's in various closets.
7. Read more on this BPA stuff.
8. Knit booties for her arrival.
9. Start shopping in the plentiful aisles of baby girl clothes.
10. Find the rest of the furniture that she needs.

So...those, in a nut shell are all the projects I have to do in the next few months. If you need me I'm either at hobby lobby, etsy or babies r'us!

"Father give me the power to make right decisions on all of this stuff! And the energy to get it all done and not procrastinate or over exert myself. Let it all go smoothly and beautifully as I have planned it all in my crazy head. Be all over this room and in every piece of furniture and all the love we put into it. In your precious name, Amen."

For more things to tackle, click here!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Whoa Baby!

It's official...
I am over the top over joyed!

IT'S A GIRL!!!!!

We found out the news on Friday and it was exhausting!
I was so nervous and had been in prayer all week about it. I was trying to convince myself that it was a boy and I just had to accept it, because I didn't want to be dissapointed, I love my baby, boy or girl, but I was afraid that if I built it up too much I would be dissapointed.

I was praying all week, "ok Lord, you know so I need you to prepare my heart for the news. My desire is a girl, you know that, but your will is best and you know what I need more than I do, I understand that, but I need you to tell my heart that."

I was praying this everytime I thought about it.

And in my heart I could softly hear the words, "I will give you the desires of your heart," but my head doubted. I thought, "but God, I don't want to be dissapointed. I want to be thrilled and happy about my baby."

So...there we were. My son and husband and a few other family members waiting...nervous for my sake...

It took a little bit for the baby to move into position and I promise you, while I was lying there I thought, "Ok Lord, I trust you and I know it's a boy and that's perfect."

And right then the lady says, "Well, your gonna have a girl!"

I began to cry. I was so happy.

And everything that the Lord had taken me through this past year all came to perfection. I knew in my heart it would be a girl, because God had told me. But you know how it is...your mind gets your heart all muddled and confused and doubtful. She is a piece of my reward for the storm that he led me through.

God knew I had to be better, to be wiser, to trust him and get rid of the junk in my life that would hinder me from being the mother he wants me to be. The mother she needs me to be. He knew all along.

I am thrilled beyond...I am in awe of my Lord.

Emma Gabrielle...

Emma - from Emmanuel, "God with us," and Gabrielle - "God's messenger."

"My precious Lord, you are so good to me. You truly do give me the desires of my heart and everytime I am in awe. Thank you for trusting me with this precious baby girl. I can't get over how good you are and how much you love me. You have been in every part of this pregnancy from conception and I ask you to continue to bless the health of my and my baby. Keep her safe until the perfect moment. In your sweet name, Amen."

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

The groove

Summer is busy. I haven't been blogging the way I use to and I don't like that, yet at the same time I don't have time to do much about it...

These next few weeks should go back to normal ( I hope) so I promise to get back on and write/read away. I have been neglecting so many of my bloggy friends as well and I feel bad...

Hopefully I will fall back into the groove again.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Good to be Home

We have been out of town the last week, just the hubby and I. We had an absolutely marvelous time, perfect, beautiful Florida sunshine, good flights, yummy food.

It was relaxing, revitalizing and refreshing. All that I needed.

Little one stayed with his grandparents and had a wonderful time away from us. He had his own sort of vacation...swimming everyday, fishing, golfing and receiving new toys. In many ways, I am sure his vacation was probably better than ours.

All in's good to be home.

Though I treasured every moment with my husband and could probably stayed a few more days lying on the white sand beaches, it was nice to come home.

And mostly, I missed by son. I really did. The first few days were great, but by the end of the trip I was ready to see his precious little smile and hear his quirky sayings. In fact, I was so excited to see him on Sunday...almost giddy. And when I did, my heart just melted all over.

Since we've been home, I am reminded of how cute and funny he is and just how absolutely precious he is. Because, let me just say that he is the cutest child in the world...and I'm not the only who thinks this...his father and grandparents are in agreement. I'm sorry for the rest of you out there who may have the same feelings about your children but...Ok, so I am a bit biased but oh well!

I have learned one thing in these past few can travel the world (or atleast to the east coast) and be rejuvinated and tanned, but there is nothing more refreshing or enjoyable than to hear your toddler's little voice say, "I wove you."

Now I must go and unpack our stuff!

"Father, thank you so much for a wonderful time with my husband. You were in every aspect of our vacation and it was so needed. You made it perfect and took care of every detail. Thank you for your protection and for bringing our family back together. "I wove you" Lord. In your precious name, Amen."

Thursday, July 10, 2008

I miss Nyquil

I have been ignoring my blog not due to any major event or lack of desire, but due to the fact that those nasty allergy monsters have attacked me. You know the ones you see on the commercials that are absolutely disgusting? Well, they have taken residence in my throat and nose and apparently tehy brought a lot of luggage!

So, here I am infested with yuckiness. Icky, gross, yuciness.

I wonder if I hit my face against a wall would that make the pressure go away? Maybe...

So...the worst part of this whole thing is that I can't take my beloved Nyquil. I love that stuff.

That sweet medicinal nectar that brings my whole body into a state of numbness with it's 10% alcohol content. And since I'm not much of a drinking kinda' girl, just a swig, a tiny shot works wonders as I drift into dreamland and the sandman takes me away.

Well, so much for that. Instead I am resigned to Robitussin. Non effective. No alcohol, no dreamland, no sandman, nothing. I sleep with a cough drop in my mouth and vics vapor rub on my nose. And when I say on my nose, not only do I smear it under my nostrils but throughout the night I take it off my nightstand and lie with the little tub against my nose.

It's great sleep, let me tell you.

So that is where I have been.

I hope those nasty monters find another vacation spot soon.

Monday, July 7, 2008

One more minute

A while back I read an article that said to give your toddler time frames for activities. The article stated that whether they understood the concept of time or not, once it is introduced they will understand the idea that whatever they are engaged in will shortly end and they will need to move on to something else.

I thought this was a great idea.

At the time crazy kid was maybe about 18 months old or so and one of our big issues was bath time. He LOVES his bath and always has and so he wanted to stay in until he pruned up or longer.

I am all for a fun, long, warm bath because it usually ensures an easy bed time routine. At the time, however, getting out was trauma for the child.

After I read the article, I began to use the advice.

I would bathe him, wash his hair and then he was free to play for however long I decided. And when time was coming to a close, I would put up one finger and say, "Ok one more minute and then we are going to brush our teeth and put on our PJ's. Say yes mama." And he would reply, "Yes mama."

After a few times of doing this, he caught on and the transition from bath to bed became much easier.

Of course, not too long after I would say, "Ok baby it's almost time to get out," and he would quickly put up one finger. Soon after that he began to say, "One minit mama."

We learned our numbers and he realized he could add to the minutes and so now he demands two and sometimes even five minutes.

Luckily, though he understand the number sequence, he doesn't understand the length of a minute. I'm hoping that lasts a while for my sake.

This time element has been a good thing. We have fewer melt downs because it sort of prepares him for change in whatever it is he is doing. Sure, it doesn't work all the time but for the most part...

Tonight I was putting crazy to bed and I was in the rocker holding him. This has become somewhat harder, though my belly isn't protruding too much yet, it has come out some. It isn't awkward for him, but when 35lbs are on me, I tend to lose my breath easily, not to mention the heat the boy puts off.

But...I wanted to keep holding him. His little face was facing mine and I was singing to him and I kissed his soft, tanned little cheek and I just wanted to keep that moment.

Of course two seconds later he pushed off of me and asks for his father.

I kissed him and said, "Can you hold mama one more minute."

Just one more minute.

I didn't get my minute. I got a big hug and a kiss and he called for his dad.

Sometimes all I want is one more minute. Or maybe two or five.

"Father, thank you for the minutes. Thank you for blessing me with so many one minute moments. Thank you for my precious boy and all his antics and sayings and his sweet heart. And thank you for the minutes I will have with the one inside me. Father I ask that you help me to not only treasure the minutes, but to seek them out. Not to be overwhelmed by busyness, but to wait and look for the minutes in every day. In your precious name, Amen."

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