Sweet Content

Life has been so sweet. It has been full of blessings and promises fulfilled. 


As I mentioned in this post here, I have been trying to not allow the enemy to take this time away from us and despite that we are still fighting against sickness. 


I had a moment or two of weakness this past weekend. And my sweet friend over at "The best is yet to come" reminded me to savor every moment and not keep looking for the better. 


Wow did I have to hear that!


We have a lot of planning going on over here for summer time. 


My husband and I LOVE summer! We are beach people. We like laying by the pool, going to the beach, soaking up the sun, etc. 


Our ideal vacation includes a beach and good tans! 


So we are ready! It was a cold winter and a rainy spring so bring on the sun! 


Anyways, we have a lot of plans for summertime. We are going on a trip to NYC sans children! I am so excited about this, you have no idea! I haven't been to Manhattan since I don't remember when and our trip is booked, musical tickets are ready and woohoo! 


We are also traveling with my family to Alabama for a family trip. I am very excited about this as well. It's going to be lots of fun, on the beach every day! Love it! Plus we will be celebrating my parents 30th wedding anniversary while there so it will be a sweet time with everyone. 


We also are planning a few trips to our local beach and a few to schlitterbaun as well. 


Anyways, with all this planning I suppose I have gotten ahead of myself. I love to plan. I love control over where to go, what to do, etc. I love lists and laying out all we can do! CRAZY! 


This is where my problem lies. Control. When I don't have control. When I can't plan. When I can't make lists I go a little crazy! 


So, this weekend I went a little crazy b/c I could not plan something, I had no control of it and I really had little power over it. 


I knew nothing nor could I do anything! 


This control freak was having issues! 


And then, I realized...this is just another thing that is taking away from my joy. Another things that is distracting me from this sweet, content, peaceful time. 


And it did exactly that. I was totally distracted. I was sad. I was frustrated. I wasn't enjoying anything. 


Last night my little girl was sick with fever. She woke up around 3:30 and I went up to hold her, soothe her and give her some medicine. Every time I tried to put her in her bed she would clench on to me, her little hands would grasp my shirt and her legs tightened up around my waist and she would start to wimper. 


So I held her. 


I was so tired. I was uncomfortable and her fever broke so my shirt was wet from her sweat. 


But as I sat there with her I felt such a peace and joy...total content. 


Yes, she was sick. I hated that. I had no control over her little body. I was tired, but I treasured that hour. I was able to hold and smell her sweet head and stroke her soft hair. She's getting so big I don't get to do that as much anymore. 


Sweet fulfillment. 


And whatever else comes along or doesn't, whatever plans I have, none of it matters; God has better plans and great blessings in store and in the meantime I will wait on Him and enjoy my gifts now!


"Father, I am constantly tested and thank God constantly growing! Thank you that I am not stagnant! Not anymore! Thank you for all you have blessed me with. Thank you for plans, they are good. We are going to have a great summer, we are going to have fun and enjoy this special time in our lives. You are so good! In your precious name, Amen." 

LOOK...one Hand!

When you become a mom you are endowed with different powers. Gifts and talents that were not needed before but which you could not live without now.

Not only are we given the spiritual gifts like the gift of interpretation where only we know what this means... "Mama i wan knee stabies peas wi awjus."

Translation: "Mama I want to eat strawberries please with orange juice."

And I am definitely praying for the gift of knowledge and discernment to kick into high gear once these kiddos are entering the teen years.

On a side note, my mother was amazingly gifted in discernment, no kidding! She would walk into the house, take one look at me and say, "Where were you and what have you been doing?" it gives me chills just thinking about it. I HATED it then...but boy do I want what she's got!

And then of course you have the "eyes in the back of your head" power and "one hand."

One hand power kicks in as soon as you bring a newborn home. It comes in the IV, I believe.

I can cook with one hand.
I can eat with one hand.
I can feed myself, my toddler and my infant with one hand! Ha, beat that!
I can check facebook, hotmail and crazy blog with one hand.
I can flip a pancake with one hand.
I can crack an egg with one hand.
I can fold underware with one hand.
I can put makeup on with one hand AND look good!
Vacuum, sweet, dust.
I'm writing this post as we speak...you guessed it, with ONE hand!

The list goes on.

Now if only I could make time to take a shower or workout. I do have the power to hold my bladder for hours at a time, but if anyone has the power to pee without having an audience around, THAT is the one I desire most! For more tackles, click here.

"Lord thank you that you are all powerful! That you have truly given me the abilities and the wisdom that I need to raise my kids, have a loving home and be a good wife and mother. All I ask is that you continue to bless me each day with what I need for that day and that I will learn from my mistakes and grow more in you daily. In your precious name, Amen."

"Once upon a time there was this young mother who almost had a nervous breakdown! She was tired, sick, had a huge tension headache which was not in anyway relieved by the high pitched screams of her 3 week old daughter. And of course, at the moment when she was worn thin, her two and a half year old son desperately needed her attention. She was in great despair and overwhelmed with frustration, guilt and defeat."



That was last Thursday.

The day had started off just ok. Despite all the hand sanitizing, Emma still managed to catch the nasty cold that is going around. Poor baby was super congested and no matter how much I sucked out of her little bitty nose, the mucus was overflowing!

The night had been better than the previous and I was fooled into thinking she was getting better. By mid afternoon, I started to feel the congestion hit.

I picked up Sammy from school and put in a movie for him while I fed Emma.

She had a hard time feeding, she started to scream...it was all downhill from there.

From about 2:30 to almost 5 she did not stop crying. Her feeding was all crazified because she would drink a bit and then scream, drink a bit and scream...etc.

I was at my wits end. I had no idea what to do. I kept sucking stuff out and she screamed louder. She was being overdosed with Saline and gripe water.

Then, of course, I was needed by my precious boy. He had left us alone for the most part for the first hour and in he comes..."Momma I want you to watch TV wit me. Pwease mommy?"

And the guilt poured down.

He kept saying, "Pwease mommy, come watch it wit me."

I tried to explain that baby was sick, but he kept saying, "but I want you."

So I lied and said I would be there in one minute.

Tears began to pour down my eyes. I was overwhelmed. I was feeling very sick , my head and body were aching and my precious baby girl would not stop screaming.

I had failed. I wasn't a great mommy. I had put my kid in front of the tv and left him there. I couldn't pacify my baby. I couldn't meet any one's needs. The feeling of confidence that I had days before when I thought, "Hey, I can do two kids. This ain't so bad..." those thought mocked me.

And finally, because I am still learning to give control to God and go to him first instead of fixing it all on my own, I began to pray.

You know the one..."Lord I can't do this, I'm desperate. HELP!!!"

My pathetic plea. And I have to ask myself...when will I ever learn. And as always, My God comes through.

I began to pray. And I desperately said, "Lord, I need help. I need encouragement. I'm being pulled and I can't handle this Lord. I need to know that someone loves me and is praying for me right now."

I'm not kidding you...a moment later my phone rings.

It's my dad.

In my life, my dad is my encourager,my support and mostly my reminder. Whenever things aren't going well or I am starting to doubt, he reminds me...to be strong in the Lord and the power of his might... To wait upon the Lord... That Joy comes in the morning... That he will give me the desires of my heart... That He will supply all my needs... To trust in the Lord with all my heart...

I pick up the phone and immediately start to blubber. I can't do this, I'm so tired, I am failing miserably, etc."

And he says, "Let me see what I can do, stop crying, be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might and I will call you back."

He calls back and says, ok, your mom is going to go over and spend the night so you can rest and feel better.

The baby finally fell asleep. I sat on the couch and watched the movie with my son and my mother came over and I slept all night.

God came through...he heard me, like he always does.

I have the best dad's in the world!

"Father, how many times have I been through this. How many times do I lose hope and strength. So many times I feel like I am failing and that I can't do this and then I am reminded that I can with you alone. You are my strength. I can do all things through You who gives me strength. Father, thank you for showing me how much you love me through the parents you have given me. Thank you for their wisdom and love for you. Please continue to give me strength. In your precious name, Amen."

Busyness

I have come to the conclusion that summer's are busy for us. I don't remember summer's being this busy the first few years of our marriage, but these past two summer's have been kinda crazy. And, it's not like we are busy because of the fabulous vacations we are taking because unfortunately extravagant vacations are a dream not a reality.

All to say that we ave been busy. With what? you ask. I don't really know.

I suppose June wasn't that busy, but July was crazy! And it came and went so fast.

Fortunately, our August is for the most part not busy!

Sorta'.

I do have lost of things to do as I mentioned before here.

But we are on schedule for the most part.

As far as Baby girl is concerned we have made progress. We were blessed with an amazing deal for a crib and dresser. It is beautiful and exactly what I wanted.

So I have made a few ventures to home depot and have about 100 swatches of various shades of pink.

Then I dragged my beautiful husband to this huge fabric store downtown a few saturdays ago and purchased the fabric for her bedding. We got a fabulous deal because it just happened to be on sale and perfect and the 7 yards of satin cost us $35.00. Can you believe it! I also bought the silk organza for the crib skirt and all I need to do is find some pink velvet. So fun!

So...progress! it's a good thing.

And in about 4 weeks, crazy kid will be starting mother's day out for two days a week! hold on a sec...ok I have regained my composure, the tears have subsided for now.

So I have to get him ready for that...I need to get him a back pack and nap mat and...meet his teachers and...hold on I have something in my eye...

I guess August is busy in another way. So much to do! One baby on the way and my other baby...looks more and more like a big boy.

"Father thank you so much for this kind of busyness. The fun kind. The project filled kind. The kind that is filled with exciting fulfillment in in the end. Lord help me to keep my eyes on you. To not get overwhelmed but to enjoy every moment. Thank you for blessing us with great deals on all our purchases and continue to help me find good deals and be wise over the purchases I make. You know how I can get...I mean, have you seen the racks of pink! Thank you Jesus. In your precious name, Amen."

For more tackles, click here.

Really?

I cooked dinner tonight. I'm talking a full out meal - Meat, rice veggie, etc. In fact, I made brownies the other day so you can say I made dessert as well. I haven't done that in a while...almost 8 weeks (ok maybe more).

To top it off, not only did I make dinner, I made one of my husbands favorite meals, Bistec Empanizado, that is cuban chicken fried steak.

Go me!

That is to say that I am feeling better. Much better.

Though I am still tired and every once in a while I get just a touch of nausea, I believe we are over that first trimester hump.

YEA!

Now I need to focus on cleaning my house. It's in disarray. Ok, maybe not that bad because if you were to come over I could do the bumble bee clean up routine and my house would look as if it were clean; as long as you don't go into any closets, my bedroom or even look to closely at anything else.

The funny thing is that now that I am feeling better, I had a moment the other day when I was like, "Am I really pregnant?" Before I was sick so the answer was "well duh!" But now that I'm not sick, I think..."Really?" And I talk to no one in particular and say, "Are you telling me I am having a baby? In like 6 months? Really?"

You would think I would have this stuck in my head by now especially since NOTHING fits. I can't even do the jean/rubber band trick. Unless the rubber band is like an inner tube. Then maybe.

And then, the other day I swear my boobs leaked. Now I was in the shower so I really couldn't tell for sure, but I had that sensation of leakage. You know that tingly (not in a good way), drainy...yeah, never mind.

But seriously...Am I really preggo? With my first I like knew. I don't remember thinking this way...of course I was working at the time so maybe I didn't have time to think about it.

Maybe once I start showing for real, instead of showing fatty it will sink in more.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I am super excited about it all. I don't know if it is due to the fact that this was not necessarily planned that I am whatever it is that I am. Maybe once I know the sex it will sink in more.

But when I think about it...Oh my gosh. 6 months! We will be in July in like 2 days. We have a few vacations planned in both July and August, then crazy kid starts school (more on that later, tear drop, sigh) in September and before you know here comes Thanksgiving and Christmas and 5 days later we have a baby. AUGH!

Ok...so I'm going to go and make a to do list of all I need to do before then.

But at least I'm feeling good enough to do all this!

"Father thank you so much for getting me through this stage. Thank you for keeping me and my baby healthy. Father I know you are all over this pregnancy and you knew about this and planned this before I even thought it was possible. You are so cool like that. I ask, my God, that you continue to bless this pregnancy and this baby. That you will give me the energy and strength to make these next few months memorable and priceless. Help me to be a good mommy again and a good wife. In your precious name, Amen."

What have I Become!

Oh no! It happened. I was afraid that this would happen. And today I crossed over. Everything I believed in and stood for is gone. Done with. Changed.

How could I let this occur.

I was so careful. SO conscious of my thoughts, actions, behavior.

I swore this would never happen.

I would never become this.

My husband is frugal. He is a saver. My financial guru. I am blessed to have a husband who has a brain for money, because as far as I'm concerned, we make money to spend money.

My husband's family struggled financially when he grew up and because of that he is diligent in his finances and of course, frugal.

He has been this way all through life. He learned to make money at an early age. He was smart. An Entrepreneur.

In high school he would go to the local shipley's and purchase a dozen day old donuts for $1.00. He would then take the box to school and sell each donut for 25 cents.

Genius.

Every morning his lovely, devoted mother would make him a delicious breakfast sandwich: A croissant, bacon, eggs. Her growing boy needed nourishment.

He asked her to make two sandwiched. She obliged.

He ate one on the way to school.
He sold the other for $4.00.

His mother is now waiting to receive the proceeds.

Like I said...An entrepreneur.

He is a garage seller's worst nightmare. He will talk you down with his charm. He will get the best deal.

Your trash is his treasure.

He has made me change. I obliged willingly. I only buy garage sale toys for crazy kid. I look for finds I can "fix up." I, out of necessity, have become frugal. I question every purchase and write down all I spend.

That is...I'm getting better at it.

But, I've come a long way.

Tonight I crossed the line.

We were driving home from small group. My husband pulled into our neighborhood and headed toward our mail boxes.

Two houses from the mail boxes there is a house. Tomorrow being Monday, these homeowners had placed their trash in their front yard.

As we are approaching the house, I glance at their trash. I see that in their trash lies a coffee table.

I look intently at their thrown away coffee table and my first thought is...
"I wonder why they are throwing it away? Can I salvage and use that?"

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My husband turns to me and says, "looks like a good coffee table."

How could I let myself come this far!

What has he turned me into?

P.S. No we did not take the table out of their trash! My husband offered though!

What will they think of Next!

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OMG! What can I say? Use it while traveling! Ha ha!

What's next? The manssiere! Too funny!

For more "Make me Laugh Mondays" click on the donkey!