Cast out imagination!

I have been busy preparing for a women's retreat coming up this weekend, plus planning birthday parties for our crazy march! Nonetheless, I missed a week of blogging...oops!

I've been sick. The kids got sick. Yuckiness has been going around but...God is Good! He protects and saves and Oh how he loves us!

I had a bit of a freak out moment last week.

A moment which brought fear and imagination.

I hate those moments.

You know there are times when I think I have come so far. Where I think, "Look at me God, I have this fear thing under control...I have broken those chains. I am good. "

"I" am none of those things! The God in me can do all things, but lil' ol' me needs HIM to help me fight those fears!

So last week I was putting the kids to bed and I got this massive headache. All of a sudden. Super pain. My neck was hurting and my head was almost tender to the touch. But it wasn't like a tension headache or "if this kid doesnt stop yelling I am going to throw something at him" kind of headache.

It was different.

So I was sorta massaging my neck when I feel it.

This bump.

Small, but not so small. Tender, no, painful to to the touch. Right behind my ear.

Fear gripped me.

I felt the other side and nope, there was definitely something uneven on my head.

My dad came over to watch my kids the next afternoon.

My dad is my doctor, he is my go to for all medical advice and it is a blessing to have him on call all the time! He's very smart and a good surgeon and I trust him. But the problem is I can read him pretty well. And there is a big difference between my father the hero and my father the doctor.

My father the hero; he's sweet and kind and fun loving and sometimes a goofball.
My father the doctor is medical jargon, chart reading, advice giving, and serious.

When I asked my dad about this thing on my head...and when he took a look at it and examined it...he quickly became my father the doctor.

He started asking me what my symptoms were and all kinds of mediciny questions.

FREAK OUT!

Of course he quickly turned back into my father, the hero and said it was probably nothing, just a swollen lymph node, no big deal.

But my imagination...my struggle with fear...yeah, it took over.

That bump. Yeah it was a swollen lymph node, just like my father the doctor had said. And yeah, I have been sick the last few days and my body was probably doing what it was suppose to do to fight out whatever disease was in me.

The bump is almost gone. It no longer hurts.

And I was so mad at myself. Because, I seriously had a mini meltdown. Everything bad and imaginable came into my head. And I tried to fight it, but not the way I know how...not the way God had been teaching me how.

Instead of praying over myself, confessing truths, I cowered in fear.

I even googled!

Feeding my fear instead of feeding my faith.

I have come so far, but I still have so much to grow.

"Father I thank you for a dad who has taught me what great faith is despite his medicine knowledge. I thank you for a mother who pulls me out of my imagination and reassures my faith. Forgive me for my doubt Lord. For my fear. For my lack of trust that you keep me in the palm of your hand. Continue to test my faith so that I will grow and be able to show my children who you are and who I am in you. To show them the power of faith. In your precious name, Amen."

Bitten

I am not feeling well today. I have had a sinus infection for the past few days and it has not been much fun. There must be something in the air because it came on rather quickly and with little effort. This is my second sinus infection since being pregnant. I told you about the first here and so far...I am not very happy about it.

My husband and son have both been sick as well. My son has been more sniffily and either he just isn't phased by it or he copes much better than the two of us.

My husband is feeling much better now. He has had quite an advantage being that he can take meds that help him sleep while I suffer through the night, plagued by nastiness and a sore throat. My only comfort is the vicks and chloreseptic spray that sit by the bed.

In fact, my husband had two shots of nyquil last night and even though I kissed him hard right after he drank the medicine, I, unfortunately, did not gain anything from it.

The worst of it is that I have been bitten.
Yup.
Bitten by the nesting bug. And thus far, few of my attempts have succeeded.

I fianlly got the piece that I needed for my sewing machine, but alas, (you don't hear that word much anymore...alas...I have been re-reading my anne of green gables series and I had to use it), the machine for some reason isn't working. I have looked through the manual, online and have changed everything I needed to change, i.e. needle, tension, etc. and yet nothing seems to work. I even cleaned it some and still...nothing. The thread keeps like bunching underneath inside the groovy thing and I can't seem to figure out why. So, sewing a burp cloth took me 1 hour instead of 10 minutes.

My husband said he would buy me a new one and I am going to take him up on that because I need a new, good one to sew all the projects I have in mind for baby girl.

Nonetheless, I did manage to clean out my "Monica closet," being our downstairs closet. It was scary...I call it my Monica closet, alluding of course to FRIENDS, you know, the one where Monica won't let Chandler into the back closet and he flips out wondering why and thinking she is hiding Richard back there and when he finally gets it open it turns out that closet is super messy and overloaded with junk. Picture a closet with so much stuff in it you can't walk in...yeah, that WAS my "Monica closet."

But now it is clean. Yea me!

And then I organzied our video trunk. Somehome all the videos and DVD we have had been carelessly thrown into that trunk with no organization whatsoever so...I cleaned it and put all the DVD's together and all the vidoes together. Looks good.

So, even though I don't feel great, I got some stuff done. But there is so much more!

"Dear Lord, heal my head and nose and throat father. Help me sleep tonight. I really need my rest. Help my husband and son feel better and evaporate all teh germs in the house. Help me to get all that I need to get done, done. I feel the need to revamp everything so give me the energy and time to do so. You are so good. In your precious name, Amen."