Defenses

Today was a rather stressful day. A very stressful day.

It started at 9:00 when I got a phone call from my mother in law. "Patuto (husbands grandfather) is going to the hospital. He is having a hard time breathing and is disoriented."

My heart fell. Fear overwhelmed me. Every bad thought and diagnosis entered my mind.

Nothing was known. We had to wait.

I called my husband and he could hear the fear in my voice. I scared him. He got on the phone and called different people. "We can't start to worry yet," he said to me after awhile.

I am not a negative person. Usually I am very positive. But when loved ones are in the hospital and when I have little control, my defense mechanism is to prepare for the worst.

What is the worst thing that can happen? I make a list of such things in my head and then I make a list of the things I need to get done before that occurs.

I got on the phone. I called friends to let them know what was going on and to make sure if I needed someone to watch my kid I could quickly drop him off at a moment's notice. I then cleaned my house. I put away the dishes, did a load of laundry, swept the floors, cleaned the bathrooms and continued to pick up the toys my little one kept bringing out.

I kept busy and thinking, if this goes bad atleast the house is clean and everything else is covered.

We didn't hear any news until about 4:00 in the afternoon.

Good news? No. But not terrible news. Hopeful news.

"Thank you Jesus for hope. Even if it is a glimmer in the midst of fearful and uncontrollable situations. Thank you God for reminding me that You are always in control of everything. I pray for Patuto as he is asleep in his hospital room. Pour your peace and presence all over that room tonight. Place your healing hands on his lungs, heart and every organ in his body. Bring peace to his wife and rest. Let tomorrow be a day of good news. In your precious name, Amen."