Not questioned in a rebellious way, just pure wonder. I never understood His reasoning or purpose as to why He allowed my husband and I to walk together during our tumultuous and insecure adolescence for so many years before we could really commit to each other; and I simply resigned to believe that perhaps I never would understand, or it simply wasn't for me to know.
And then...like a soft wind that blows in the midst of a still dryness, He answered me.
He answered a question that I figured had little significance or that mattered little in the grand scheme of my life.
I was wrong.
That question has kept me from understanding His purpose and ways in my life and the answer has been the key to realizing who I am and what I have been placed on this earth for.
That one answer has purposed me in ways I can't even explain.
But in order to finally get to that answer, in order to thirst for Him and His ways, I had to walk through the desert.
Before I could walk on water, I had to travel through a dry and weary land.
I came to realize that my life up to this point consisted of goals and passions that all sort of culminated in that one August.
That part of my life, that chapter in my story...it basically encompasses all of my life.
That chapter, what I thought was the climax, was merely only a part of the rising action. In fact, it wasn't the rising action at all..it was the exposition...the beginning.
God, the great author, was merely "setting the stage" and "developing" the plot.
I was working towards the goal of marrying my best friend, the goal of finally starting our life together, the goal of starting our family. Everything I did was for that purpose.
We started our life and family and it was all I had ever dreamed.
In my idealistic and romantic view of life, I didn't need anything else.
In my somewhat messed up theology, God had come through for us and everything was gonna work out because we loved Him and that's all I really needed Him for.
I thought the "falling action" would end in "Happily Ever After."
In stories and fairy tales you aren't told the whole story. You aren't told what happens after the "Ever After." You aren't told that the reality of life is that each chapter may seem to have beginnings and climaxes and endings...but the whole story is still being written by the author and finisher of our faith.
My story kept going...
And I wasn't having much say into how it was being written and there were times when I didn't even know how to read it.
That's where I got stuck.
God isn't finished writing your story.
If you are still breathing, He's still writing.
Your story has many climaxes and rising and falling actions and it keeps going. You may want to grab the pen and write it yourself, but the problem with that is that you don't know the plot. You don't know the ending. You don't know how the hero will be used or how the hero will stand and fight and lose and win and cry and live.
If you try to write the story, you'll have to edit a lot and will still be left with nothing but a rough draft.
If you allow Him to write your story...there will be no errors, no questions, no drafts. It will be complete and good and perfect.
He's still developing His character. His Hero.
He is still developing You.
The story is just beginning.
"How can we picture God's Kingdom? What kind of story can we use? It's like a pine nut. when it lands on the ground it is quite small as seeds go, yet once it is planted it grows into a huge pine tree with thick branches. Eagles nest in it. With many stories like these he presented his message to them, fitting the stories to their experience and maturity. He was never without a story when he spoke." Mark 4:30-34 (The Message)