I woke up this morning to a night of disturbing dreams.
In my dream my family and I were confined in our home that wasn't our home. We huddled together quietly in a corner, hiding from something or
someone. It was like a scene from The Pianist or Schindler’s List. It was
quiet, and we weren't doing much of anything, but there was fear all around.
My husband made his way to the window to look out…I woke up.
It was about 4 o'clock in the morning. I could see the fan
over our bed and hear the soft snoring of my husband next to me. I put my hand
on his back and steadied my breathing.
It was a dream. It was just a nightmare.
My children were safe, upstairs in their beds. Our home was
perfect and warm and nothing stirred outside, for in my world, all were still
sleeping on this summer night.
I fell back to sleep, praying for rest and peace.
In another room I huddle my children close to me. Covering
them in prayers and holding them tightly. I was overcome with fear, yet an
unspeakable sense of peace.
I didn't know where my husband was.
I knew there was a foreboding and terror in our midst of
this nightmare.
All of a sudden, my children were taken away and I was being
held.
I was praying and I saw each of their faces flash before me.
I woke up.
It was morning.
My husband was in the shower getting ready for a regular Monday.
My son was watching PBS on TV and the baby had toddled down and sat next to her
brother with her thumb in her mouth and blanket over her little legs.
For a minute, in my dreams, the persecution was real in my
life.
It was terrifying.
I still feel that terror in the pit of my stomach.
In my world, I have no idea what persecution looks like.
In my world, I am safe and don’t worry about terror or my
children being stolen from me or my husband being murdered in front of me.
In my world, our life will likely continue in this way
because I just happen to have been born in the land of the free.
There are so many right now who are living my nightmare.
I see their faces and their terror and I cry for them and
hurt and am praying for them and I think, ‘Oh my God I don’t know what is
happening to this world?’
In my world, I am safe, my children are safe, and my husband
is safe.
In my world, we worry about dinner and chauffeuring the kids
and being intentional with our lives and marriages.
In my world, I worry about curriculum choices and whether or
not my kids are too spoiled.
In my world, I don’t worry about persecution or going to
church or praying
or reading my bible.
In my world, I don’t think about others not having bibles or
being able to go to church.
In my world, I have a bible for every room and access to
more translations on every ipad and smartphone and computer in the house.
In my world, I can break bread with friends and encourage
other believers without fear of being jailed or caught.
Outside of my world there is that world.
That world of
fear.
That world of
persecution.
That world of
terror.
That world of not
having enough or anything.
That world of the
unsafe.
It’s all around my world.
In the south mothers are sacrificing their children to
terrorizing trains in hope of this American dream that is depicted over screens
across the world.
In the east, mothers are carrying their dead children as
they run away from their homes through deserts in search for hope and salvation.
When I was a girl I didn’t ever do anything un-safe. My
brother would try anything and he would come home with bumps and bruise and
scrapes and scars.
Not me.
I have one scar on my leg…from shaving. That’s it.
I did not put myself in harms way ever.
I like safe.
I like my world.
I’m scared of that
world.
I wish I could pretend that
world didn't exist.
I wish I could ignore that
world.
And I have tried my best to do so.
I don’t watch the news and I have no news feeds on my Facebook
or twitter.
But I can’t get away from that world.
That world is real
and it cries out to me.
That world haunts
my dreams.
It cries out for prayer. Deep, meaningful, gut wrenching
prayer.
It cries out for Jesus. Our savior. Our hope. Our deliverer.
In my dreams I see the faces of children scared and hungry and
dying in the desert.
In my dreams I see the bodies of families being laid down
one by one, lifeless and gone.
So today I’m praying.
I’m praying for my world. The Whole world.
I’m praying for those cries of the saints that are perfuming
the altar of God right now.
I’m praying for the tears of the saints that are pouring
over their dead and dying children knowing that God will wipe away all their tears
and there will be no more death or sorrow or pain.
I’m praying for the fear.
I’m praying for the innocent.
I’m praying for those of us watching and praying and
wondering what can that world possibly
be like and would we be brave enough to stand in the face of persecution.
I’m praying for those of us watching and praying for courage
no matter where we find ourselves today.
I’m praying for deliverance.
I am reminded of Rich Mullins song of long ago…
"My Deliver is coming – My Deliver is standing by
He will never break his promise- He has written it upon the
sky.
My Deliverer is coming- my Deliver is standing by…
I will never doubt His promise though I doubt my heart, I doubt
my eyes
My Deliverer is coming – My Deliver is standing by
He will never break His promise
Though the stars should break faith with the sky.
My Deliverer is coming- my Deliver is standing by…
And I will remain in the hope that one day ‘Every knee shall
bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is LORD (Romans 14:11)."
Pray with me today for the world.
Pray with me for the mothers and the cries in the desert.
Pray with me.
You are His Beloved,
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4 comments:
Andrea....this is beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
I'm next to you at Lyli's today and our hearts are beating in much the same way. Praying with you, friend.
Andrea, Thank you so much for sharing this at CMB. Thank you for sharing your tender mother's heart. Thank you for encouraging us to pray, pray, pray.
Your neighbor at Kendra's today...this was touching and I pray it never comes as a reality in our nation. I just don't have the confidence in THAT as you do :( it is a crazy world and anything could happen, anywhere, unfortunately. We are holding up those that are facing persecution. It has been on my heart so much lately I have blogged about it three times in ten days! Probably losing followers...but God IS where they ARE. We ask Him to intercede. Blessings.
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