Tuesday, May 20, 2014

When Time Doesn't Stand Still

I look at my small children and I can’t imagine them getting older.
When they were born I lived in the moments of this beautiful, crazy ride called motherhood.

I didn't understand that Time wouldn't stand still.
I couldn't comprehend that Time would fly by like everyone said it would.

There were days when Time went agonizingly slow.
Those first few weeks of non-stop feedings and diaper changes 
and trying to figure out life all over again.
The days of sleep training and potty training and character training.
The nights of teething and sickness and bone tiredness. 

Some days went fast.
Especially the fun days.
The vacations, the Christmas mornings, the birthday weeks, the park days…

The days I thought about and planned for and stressed over…they came.
I cried.
We found our rhythm in the change.

The first time they slept through the night.
The first time they spent the night at Yaya and Pop's.
The first time we went on vacation without them.
That first day of preschool.
That first day of kindergarten.
The first time we went to Disney world.
The first time they slept at a friends house.

Time doesn't stand still for anyone.

I never pictured my son and daughters as older when they were babies.
I never saw my son as being 8, or my daughter at age 5.
I didn't even picture the baby being 2.

Yet, Time doesn't stand still for anyone.

Birthdays come and I live in denial of them because, really;
how can another year be spent?

How can it be that in 8 years you’ll be driving and in 10 you’ll be driving away?

How can it be that in 7 years you’ll be on the cusp of young womanhood, with hormones and crazy emotions?

How can it be that in 3 years, you will all be in school…grasping knowledge faster than I can keep up with?

How is that possible?

If I close my eyes I can imagine what you’ll look like…
If I close my eyes I can see you at 16, 14 and 11.

Yet, I don’t want to imagine it, because it hurts too much to think about.

Time doesn't stand still for anyone.

I can’t imagine you not having breakfast at the table every morning.
I can’t imagine you not asking for a snack or to play or to read every day.
I can’t imagine you driving or dating or going away to camp or a mission trip.
I can’t imagine you not being at the dinner table every night sharing you best and worsts.
I can’t imagine you not being half asleep and tucking you in every night.
I can’t imagine you not being a part of my every day life.

It just can’t be…

Time doesn't stand still for anyone.

One day, you’ll drive away to college.
One day, you’ll walk away and toward the one God designed for you.
One day you’ll fly to a life that was planned for you.

And I’ll be watching from the sidelines.
And I’ll remember when you were 2 and 5 and 8.
And I’ll hurt, but it will be a good hurt.

Today, I chose to live for you in the now.
I choose to sit down, to play memory, to hug;
to look at who you have become, because
I never thought you would be 2 and 5 and 8.

Time doesn't stand still for anyone. 

Don't forget to Vote for my Friend Robyn to win the Style for Justice Trip to Rwanda!
Read her interview Here and Vote!

Time is in His hands beloved,

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Cheryl Smith said...

What a moving post! Truer words were never spoken. Your words are packed with wisdom, and it is a BLESSING that you realize the value of these things now, before the moments are gone forever, and you have to deal with regrets over not making the most of them while they were happening. I cry over these things, too...as I watch our sweet boy grow way-too-fast. We struggled with infertility for 12.5 years before God miraculously sent him to us, and that seems to make the moments even more sacred and precious to us. I can SO relate to everything you said. Our son is now 13. I just can't imagine how it happened so fast...it is like you close your eyes and they are little, then open them again, and there is this big person standing in front of you. It hurts to the core of a mother's heart. All we can do is to cherish and enjoy every moment we are given and trust God to give us courage and strength to face each new season. I love your blog and would love for you to visit mine sometime. :) God bless you.

WholeHearted Home Judith Kowles said...

I know exactly what you are talking about. I never ever thought I would have older children and especially not teenagers. Now my 'baby' is 19!! What's up with that?!

Thanks for sharing this and all the pictures are precious.

Anonymous said...

I love this! You really don't think things are ever going to change it's like that country song (I don't remember the name) "you're gonna miss this you're gonna want this back" you never think that when they're screaming and it's 2am but you really do lol

Andrea said...

Thanks for commenting ladies.

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