Tuesday, May 6, 2014

6 Ways to Protect your Sons from Pornography: Part III of Raising Boy Men

He is completely innocent.
He is honest…super honest.
He tells me everything…even the gross boy things.
“Mom, I got a little bit of pee on my hand but I washed it.”
Good to know!


“Mom, I wiped my boogie on the wall, but then I remembered you said not to do that, so I cleaned it off.”


“Mom, I think she’s a nice girl. It’s ok to think girls are nice, right? She’s my friend.”

That last one was heart wrenching.

“Yes, it’s totally normal to think girls are nice and it’s even ok to think girls are pretty.”

Relief fills his face.
Oh my!

Unfortunately, we live in an age where the innocence fades too soon and our boys are becoming easy prey to a world full of dogs waiting to pounce, attack and have their fill.

Last week, my family and I were enjoying an easy Saturday spending the afternoon watching National Geographic. During one episode, they spoke of elephant herds that were grazing with their young. All of a sudden, a pack of wild dogs began to get too close to the herd. One elephant began to stamp its feet to warn the others and scare the dogs. The dogs began to get closer so the elephants placed their young in the middle and they created a wall surrounding them.

The pack soon scattered, knowing they had no chance to penetrate and hurt the young calf’s.

As I reflected on what we saw, I couldn't help but think of my own young son.

We live in an age where wild dogs are seeking to devour our sons and we have to set barriers. 

We have to be ready on the defense when those attacks come, because they will come.

I could talk about so many different areas that our boy men need protection in, but one that threatens, terrifies and angers me the most is that of pornography.

“In our times and in our culture, there is perhaps no greater battle for our children to fight than the battle for their own purity. Regardless of how old your child is or where your child lives, the battle is real and it is coming. As parents, we have the awesome task of preparing our children for this battle. It is our responsibility to play an active role in setting our children up for success” (Flood, Link).

Here’s the deal: Pornography is an $8 billion industry.
It is rampant and it influences every realm of social media, internet, film, music, etc.

“Some researchers have stated that the average ago for exposure to pornography is down to 8” (Jackson, link).

As parents, when it comes to pornography, we must protect our boys by preparing them to be on the defense. 
We have got to be ready for the attack. 
We have got to see the wild dogs coming and we must be ready to warn our sons and fight the dogs off.

You can’t pretend that it won’t enter your home…its inevitable.

6 Ways to protect our sons from the trap of Pornography

1. Guard their Hearts, Eyes and Ears at a Young Age.

Let your sons know that there are certain things that they should not see or hear, even at a young age. Our son knows when things are “ugly” and what we do not allow them to watch. He has been known to turn the channel or tell his sisters to turn their eyes when an ugly commercial comes on.
Have set rules, especially for screen time. One rule our children have is that they are not allowed to watch anything we have not seen first or have not approved, especially when they are on the internet. It is our responsibility to guard and control what they see as best as we can.

2. Keep Open Communication.

Talk with your sons openly and honestly. Keep the lines of communication open, LISTEN to them and let them know that what they sat matters.
If you don’t listen to them about the little stuff, they won’t talk to you about the big stuff. That’s all part of loving them well.

3. Warn your Sons and Prepare Them for what they Will one day find.

They will see it. They will find it or, it will find them.
Your sons need to know about the trap of pornography. They need to know that one day they may be shown or find or stumble upon certain kinds of images. They need to be ready and know how to handle that situation.
Prepare them by sharing with them what that situation may look like.
Do it now, before it’s too late. We home school our son, so he is not the “average” 8 year old boy. However, soon, his father will sit down with him and will have a preliminary “talk.” He is only 8, so he won’t go into specific details, but one thing he will do is warn him of the inevitable.
He may say something like, “Son, one day, maybe soon, maybe when your thirteen, I don’t know when, but one day, you may be on the internet or at a friends house or anywhere, and you will see pictures of girls and they won’t be wearing much clothes.”

4. Tell you Sons what to do When Pornography finds them.

My husband will then give him instructions and prepare him for the choice he will have to make.
“On that day, son, you will have to make a choice. You will either choose to stay and look or you will choose to walk away. Your mom and I are praying that you choose to walk away.”

5. Share with them your expectations.

“When you choose to walk away, the other boys may laugh at you, they may call you names; but, you need to remember that a real man is a hero and a protector of all women. Those girls in the pictures are sisters and mothers, just like your sisters, so it is your job to protect them, just like you would protect your sisters and mom. You will have to make that choice alone. And when that day comes, because it will happen, I want you to come and tell me, whether you walked away or not. I will be proud of you for the courage it takes to walk away and I will be proud of you for the courage it takes to tell me you stayed to look. No matter what, we can always talk about anything. “

6. Build walls around to protect them.

Get good great security for your internet. Lock your TV channels.
Be proactive.
But remember, no matter how proactive you are, more than likely, the wild dogs will be looking for them; prepare them, so that they are ready for the attack.

For more great tips and information here are some great articles below. Also, be sure to visit Focus on the Family’s website and the Family Life website.

This is the last and final post for the series, Raising Boy Men. I hope you have been encouraged and equipped some for this amazing task set before us as boy mom's. Come back tomorrow and I will be sharing a list of books, resources and last minute tips on a video vlog!! Don't miss it! Subscribe to Beautiful Craziness by Email

Previous Posts in the Raising Boy-Men Series. 

You are His beloved,


busymomof10 said...

Hi! I popped over from A Little R&R! This is a FANTASTIC post! I have six sons . . .

Thanks for sharing your wisdom on this matter. It is so much easier to protect our young sons . . . and very scary when your sons are in their teens and even twenties. They reach a point when we can't protect them any more and have to hope they stand alone and entrust them to God!!

many blessings,

Lauren said...

Wow. This is so good! I worked in abstinence education for a few years and my heart broke for the lack of training parents did not give to their children in regards to sex.
I love how you painted the picture of the elephants and wild dogs. It's so true. The world wants to devour our sons and daughters.
I think you gave such practical tips for parents and I'm excited to pass this on!

Christina said...

Great article! I loved the picture story of the wild dogs as well. I can't even count how many times my children have been bombarded by filth...at the grocery store checkout, bookstore, neighbor's house, family's house, greeting card isle, computer pop up ad, preview commercial before playing an app game, older sibling of a friend...it just never ends. What a great reminder to have a plan and to be on guard...because it's not if it's when!

Andrea said...

Thanks Ladies! So glad you were blessed!

Amanda Criss said...

This is such a great post, Andrea. You and your husband are so wise to recognize that your son WILL be confronted with pornography and how you will serve him by preparing him. I want to just stick my head in the sand and act like it doesn't exist, but this is great advice and encouraging. Thanks.. {Visiting you from the Titus 2sDay Linkup.}

Andrea said...

Thanks Amanda! I was certainly shocked when I heard the average age!! That scares me!! But we have to prepare our kids right?!? It's part of it! Thanks for visiting!

Goldly Indian Mom said...

Great post :)



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