Appearance Vs. Reality

A few years ago a friend said to me, “Everything always seems to work out for you.”

A few years later another friend said, “You always seems to have it all together.”

I don't have anything together.

In my life I have 3 constants:

My God.

My Husband.

My Family (OK, so husband and family kinda fall in the same category, but then I would only have 2 constants…you see I've got nothing!)

“You seem to have everything together.”

In my Shakespeare classes of old, one of the major themes was appearance versus reality.

I appear to have it all together.
The reality, however, is so far from that appearance.

And that breaks me.

Because the truth is…I like appearing a certain way.

I'm really good at pretending.

How could anyone trust anything I say or do if they really knew the mess that I am?

How can God use me if people figure out the truth of who I am?

I broke a cup yesterday.

A sweet little espresso cup that I had bought in Little Italy the year before I got married. If you have ever visited our home, we mostly likely have served you Cuban coffee in these little cups.

The crack was barely visible.

It seemed to be together, but the reality was it was broken.

I don't have it all together.
I may have portrayed that before, because of my own pride and fears, but I am that cup. 

I am nothing, but broken and messed up. 

My life is a crazy jumbled mess that seems to be pieced together, but if you look closely, it’s broken.

If I were to let you in for real, you wouldn't see a woman who has it all together.

You'd see a woman who still looks at herself like that same little girl
who is afraid of everything.

You'd see a woman who can't keep up with laundry to save her life.

You'd see a woman who wants so many things, but is so afraid of failing
that she just sets it all aside.

You'd see a woman who wants to adopt or do something big for God,
but she is terrified of all the “what if’s,”
so she doesn't move.

You'd see a woman who yells at her kids more than she would like to admit.

You'd see a woman who sometimes criticizes her husband, who gets annoyed by her children,
who would many times rather escape than be present and who desires recognition despite herself.

You'd see a woman who in the last week hasn't picked up her bible once.

But…GOD.

He has begun to mend the broken pieces. 

He can use my broken pieces. 

He can make a totally new creation out of my mess.

Seem is irrelevant.

Seem isn't reality.

The reality is that none of us have it all together.

NONE of us.

The reality is that this life is a mess.

It’s hard.

It’s brutal.

It’s scary and trying and tiring and crazy.

The only real in our life is God.

He is the only one that is true and faithful and good.

It is because of who He is, that I will give over all of my brokenness to Jesus and daily choose to say Yes to what He calls me to.

What seems to be simply isn't enough anymore.

Beloved, is your life as crazy as mine? Are you a broken cup, pretending to be perfect? Give your broken mess to Jesus. Let Him make your crazy life beautiful.

I am privileged to link up with Kristen Welch From We are That Family, for the launch of her new book, Rhinestone Jesus: Saying Yes to God when sparkly, safe faith is no longer enough.

In her book, Kristen writes about her journey and how she chose to say YES to God despite her messy, not perfect life. It is a beautiful story of God's grace and mercy and how God can use each of us when we say YES to Him and His callings.

You can pre-order the book here - 

• Amazon
• Barnes  & Noble
• ChristianBook.com
• Dayspring
• Family Christian

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Easter Makes Me Weepy

 photo credit: Waiting For The Word via photopin cc

Usually, the Thursday before easter comes around and I start getting weepy. I start thinking about all my Jesus did for me on that Thursday 2000 years ago and the waterworks start to flow.

By Friday, I’m a mess.

Saturday is quiet.

And on Sunday…I know my Redeemer LIVES!

Sunday is good!

This year was a little different.

I reflected on Passion Week throughout the week...Thursday came, Friday was sweet and busy and fun, we went to Church on Saturday and had a lovely dinner with friends and I never cried.

Oh, but Sunday.

My spirit was heavy on Sunday.

We dyed eggs and had a feast. 

I pulled out the resurrection eggs and as I was talking to the kids about all that our Lord did for us, I had to hold back the tears.

I came into my room and started to listen to some praise and worship and classic Easter songs and I wept.

What do I think about on Easter that makes me cry?

1. I think about Mary.

I'm a mom, so I think about Mary. At 15 did she have any idea what she would witness? Did she have any clue that the sweet baby she held and sung to; the sweet baby that wrapped His tiny fingers around hers would be condemned to a criminal's death? Did she have any clue that He would save the souls of mankind? As she stood at the cross and watched her baby boy brutally die, did she think of every tenderness, every kiss, every hug, every tear, every dream, every moment that made Him her precious child? I think Jesus thought of all those moments as he looked upon her, and even in His final moments he took care of her needs, the same way she had always taken care of His.

2. I think about Jesus.

I think of the blood sweat anguish, the prayer, the turmoil, the strength, the love, the beatings, the mocking, the pain, the passion, the sacrifice, the walk to Golgotha, the blood, the cross, the nails, the thorns, the spear, the love…the love.

I think about the fact that hours before he was betrayed, he was loving and serving those He cared for most.

No greater love…

3. I think about the disciples.

I think of Judas’ betrayal. Satan lied and entered him and then left him, desperate and shamed with no where else to go, but the potter’s field. I think of Peter and his denial. His broken heart, his guilt, the freedom he felt when he saw the empty tomb. I think of John. How did he look on His savior and best friend and watch Him brutally die? I think of the devotion he had to Jesus as he took Mary as his mother, caring for her for the rest of her days. I think of him running to the tomb and going straight in with complete, overwhelming excitement!

4. I think about those who have no hope.

So many are lost. So many don't believe HE is Risen! So many don't know. So many are suffering, hurting and going through this life lost and as wanderers.

5. I think about how unworthy I am that I have hope.

Father, I am so unworthy. Why me, Lord? Who am I that You would love me and choose me?

6. I think about the Joy of salvation.

The Joy of my salvation is what propels me forward in this hard life. It is the hope of salvation that gives me the passion to teach my children of His love, His mercy and His faithfulness. It is the joy of my salvation that gives me a love for my husband and family, so that I can serve them and love them faithfully. It is the joy of my salvation that brings me to my knees and makes me thankful for his mercies that are new every morning.

7. I think about the Resurrection!

He is Risen! Death could not hold Him! The tomb is Empty! He carries the keys to Sin and Death and the Grave and we have eternal life if we confess that He is LORD and Believe in our hearts, we can be saved and spend ETERNITY in heaven with Him!

There is Hope Beloved! He is Hope! He died for you and He is Risen! Believe and be saved!

"Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; He has risen!" Luke 24:5-6

You are His beloved, 

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The Thing About Boys - An Introduction to Raising "Boy-Men"

My son came home from football practice the other day and gave me a hug.
He's 8 and all boy.
I teased him and shoved him away and said, "Eww, you stink!" Almost instinctively, he came over and started rubbing his head and chest on me, laughing as I was shrieking and trying to get away.
Boys! Stinky boys!

He comes up to my chin.
He wears a size 3 in shoes. I don't know if that's big...I think it's average...but yet, his feet are huge!
They use to be so small.

He use to be so small.

I was remembering a time when we were sitting and playing and I went over to sit in the rocking chair and he came over and sat in my lap and held me. We rocked and I sang and he said, "Mommy I love this."
It was one of the most precious moments in my life.
They are so many moments...so many I hold dear...and so many I have forgotten.
But that moment...it was beautiful.

The thing about boys...is that they don't stay little.
They sort of evolve into men.
My boy is still "small," and comes up to my chin, but he considers himself a man.

My husband and I have raised him to be a "man."
A strong "boy-man."
My husband takes great purpose in teaching him the ways of a Godly man.
He many times will say to the boy man, "This is what men do," or "a real man is..." kind, protective, loving, gentle, brave.

The way of "man" has been somewhat instinctive. He looks at things differently then my girls do.
His favorite color is red. He likes to break dance. When he laughs, it's with full force and great pleasure.
In the homeschool world, we would call him a "Competent Carl," in other words, a know it all!
He thinks he knows it ALL.
And he is pretty smart.
He understands football!
He is competitive.
Passionate.
He likes to ride his bike, and kill snakes, and go on adventures.
He likes to look out for hawks and burn ants with a magnifying glass.
He loves animals and dinosaurs.

He is sensitive too.
A rule follower.
A loyal friend.
He loves his sisters. He is their protector and he takes that calling in total seriousness.

He is my 'boy-man.'

Our relationship has evolved as well.
And that has not been easy.

His father is his best friend and who he desires to be exactly like.
I thank God for that.

I, am mom. Sometimes mommy.
Who he likes to tease and play with and sometimes kiss.

But sometimes, he doesn't want to kiss me.
I get side hugs most of the time...unless I purposely grab and hug him. Which I do. A lot.
He doesn't come and sit in my lap anymore.
I can't carry all 60 pounds of him anymore.
When I sing to him, he chooses weird songs for me to sing, like the Power Rangers Theme song.

There are tender moments.
Moments when he sits close and I scratch his head.
Moments when he wants me to "soft scratch" his back.
Moments when we lay in bed and he tells me fears and secrets and dreams.

Those are the moments I live for.
Those are the moments that I treasure.
Those are the moments I have to remember when the boy is driving me crazy!

The thing about boys is that they don't stay little.
And one day, I'll come up to his chin.

Every Wednesday for the next 3 weeks I will be posting about Raising "Boy-Men." I will be giving resources on how to Love them, Train them and Protect them. Don't miss a Post!

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And the Winner is...

Making Perfume from A Sense of the Resurrection
Learning about Mary Anointing Jesus

The Winner to the Ebook, "A Sense of the Resurrection: An Easter Experience for Families," is
Jessica Martens!


Congratulations Jessica! Thanks for Commenting and Subscribing!

I will be contacting you via email and will deliver your prize!

Thank you to everyone who entered and subscribed!

If you want to buy this resources (which I highly suggest you do!) you click here and purchase this great resource for your Family right now for only 7.99.

Thanks again everyone and come back tomorrow for a post on raising a "Boy-Man."

Praying you all have a wonderful, intentional Easter!

                                                                  

You are His beloved,

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This is What Passion Looks Like...

I'm up early on a Saturday Morning.
I'm sitting in a corner of Panera with a bagel and chai latte.
It's 6:30.
I woke up early with my notebook and laptop in hand, kissed my husband and snuck out before the children and the sun rose.

Driving here with only so many people on the road I thought...So this is what passion looks like.

I only ever wake up early for a few things.
A good garage sale or vacation!

I've always been somewhat jealous of those people who wake up early to work out!
I've tried to do so many times but I always find it so hard to commit to.
I never had a real passion for it.

But last night, when I thought "I am going to wake up early and escape to write"...for the first time in my life I was excited and driven.

This week is passion week and I can't help but wonder if Jesus woke up in a similar manner.
Not excited, but driven.

In fact, I wonder how much Jesus slept the last week on earth knowing what was waiting for him in the end.
I can't imagine the turmoil, the fear...the anguish.
I can imagine that he may have desired so much to call the angels down to rescue him; to take him away.
Yet, He kept walking towards the cross because of passion.

Webster defines passion "as suffering; a capacity of being acted on by extended agents or forces; emotion as distinguished from reason; intense drive or overmastering feeling or conviction; ardent affection."

In our minds when we hear the word passion, most of us probably convey a love for something. I dont think we necessarily think suffering.

Yet, thats the first definition, "as suffering."
To desire so much for something that you are willing to suffer despite all sense of reason.

Jesus was passionate for us.
Despite all reason.
Despite the fact that we sin, that we msee up, that we fall and flail and doubt and lose the faith daily.

He was so passionate for us that He walked toward the cross.
He was carried on a donkey and praised, only to walk into a den of iniquity.
He walked into a garden to be betrayed.
He walked into a courtroom to be accused.
He walked into a palace to be handed over.
He walked toward guards to be brutally beaten, as 39 lashes scourged his back.
He walked up the hill as He carried His cross to have His hands and feet nailed, hanging on a tree like a criminal. Mocked and shamed.

His passion is what led Him. It was the unreasonable driving force...His ardent love for us....His passion.

This week, remember how much He loves you. Remember what His love bought for us.
His heart beat so violently for you until it could no longer beat anymore.

We have purpose, hope and passion because He was so passionate for us. He gave us all these things, because He was passionate about delivering us from the hands of sin and death.

The gifts and callings He has given us, He paid for on the cross.
We are not worthy of such a love.

Think about that this week as you live out the passions given to you by your Savior.

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Why We don't Go to Church on Easter Sunday and a Giveaway!!!

I love Easter.
I love Jesus.
I love everything that has to do with His loving me so much He gave His life so I could be saved, delivered and healed.
He died and rose again so I could have a hope and a future.

Easter is our reason for celebrating everything.

To know that He suffered for me.
That He lived and died for me.
That his hands...his feet were nailed...the thorns...the beating..
For me.
You and me.
Crazy, messed up me.

With all that said, my family and I do not go to church on Easter Sunday.

What?!?

We don't go to church on Easter Sunday...we go on Saturday.

Last year was the first year we did so and we committed as a family to not go on Sunday ever again.
When we told people this and many were a little taken aback.

"But Easter is on Sunday."
"How can you not go to church on Easter Sunday?"
"Jesus rose on Sunday...not Saturday."

First of all...did you know that more non-church going people go to church on Easter Sunday that any other Sunday in the year. More go to church on Easter than on Christmas.

Churches around the country will be hosting more visitors on Easter Sunday and because of that, our church adds services to the weekend starting on Saturday night. They also ask that members choose a Saturday service in order to open up seats (and parking spaces) for all first time visitors.

Honestly, at first I did think..."But, Easter is on Sunday." (Incredibly obvious isn't it?)
But my Husband insisted we go and that we would make Sunday a family day, and that we intentionally share with our kids the beauty of the Resurrection.

And so we did. And it was awesome!!

And THAT is why if possible, we won't ever go to church on Easter Sunday again!

If you only go to Church on Easter Sunday because that's "what you do..." you are missing out on the depth of what Easter is about. If you dress your kids up in the new spring fashions, head to church, go hunt for Easter eggs and have a nice family dinner after and never once intentionally and passionately give your children and your family real Easter teachings and traditions that go deeper than dying eggs and pretty pastels, then you are missing out on the greatest celebration of this life.

I'm not saying don't buy new clothes or hunt eggs...yes, do all those things if that is part of what you
do as a family. What I am saying is do so much more. Be intentional and engage your children in
traditions and teachings that will pierce their heart, burden them with the sacrifice that Jesus gave for
them, enrapture their hearts for the Joy in the resurrection and give them a desire to chase after the Kingdom.

8 ways to Intentionally Celebrate the Resurrection.

1. Invite people to your church. 
THIS EASTER SUNDAY your neighbor, co worker, friend is probably thinking about going to church. They more than likely don't have a "home" church. INVITE them!! Pick up some extra invite cards or maybe your church sends out flyer's or maybe you can just make some on you computer and go around the neighborhood or when you take the kids to the park hand out a few. If your church is
doing an egg hunt, invite the moms at the school or work.

2. Celebrate and Feast!
Do you make a special meal for your kids, maybe on birthdays or other celebrations? Make it for Easter. Make a special meal that they love and light candles and spend time reflecting and talking about the resurrection. In our family I make my "Famous French Toast" for every morning celebration. So on Easter Sunday I will wake up and light some candles, put on beautiful worship music and make a yummy feast of French Toast and Bacon and berries! There isn't any greater reason to celebrate and feast!

3. Do the Fun Easter traditions! 
Do an egg hunt, give them Easter baskets, dye eggs. We have an egg dying/decorating competition at our house every year...and I never win...EVER! I am really not good at decorating eggs!  But this is gonna be my year!! Have fun with your family.

4. Resurrection Eggs. 
I LOVE Resurrection eggs! You can make them yourself, directions here or buy them at any
Christian book store. This is a perfect way to get your kids engaged and sharing the story of the
Crucifixion and Resurrection.

5. Make Resurrection Rolls.
So easy and so fun and yummy too! Your kids will love helping out and you can talk about and
explain how Jesus is no longer in the tomb, but He has Risen!  Here is a great recipe.

6. Set aside time for family worship. 
Whether you do it on Good Friday or Easter Sunday, be intentional about setting up a time to gather your family around you and worship together, read the bible and pray for your family and each other. Im not talking an hour friends, I'm talking 15 minutes! Let your kids be a part of this time. Let your son lead in prayer or worship; let you daughter read a passage from the bible. Pray together. You can read the Resurrection story or whatever...let the Spirit lead you as you lead your family in worship together. It's Beautiful!

7. Have communion together as a family.
Get some yummy bread (maybe you can even make some for this special celebration) and juice and share communion in your homes with you kids. Talk about the body that was broken and the blood that was shed. Serve them.

8. Do a special Easter craft.

This year I am going to do a few crafts from Amanda White's new ebook "A Sense of the Resurrection." If you haven't seen or heard of this book yet, let me just say it is awesome! She has 12 very intentional and meaningful crafts that are all about the events leading to the Resurrection. Not only does she share crafts, but she has scriptures and points to talk about with your kids to reinforce the beauty of all the events leading to the Resurrection. For example, the first activity is making a perfume like Mary used to prepare Jesus for his death. The idea is that each time you smell it, you will remember that He died for you! I LOVE IT!! And even better, most of the supplies you probably have on hand!  I can not wait to get started. We will not be able to do all 12, but we will definitely do a few leading up to Easter and then maybe one or two on Sunday.

GIVEAWAY TIME!!

My desire is that this Easter you will be so intentional with your children and family that they will be fired up by the passion you have for the Resurrection. So I am giving away one download of "A Sense for the Resurrection: An Easter Experience for Families" to one of my readers! This is my first giveaway and I am so excited!!!

Here's how to Enter-

1. Comment on this blog post and tell me how you plan to be intentional with your kids this Easter; or subscribe to Beautiful Craziness before Monday, April 14th at Midnight. Anyone can enter to win!

2. If you comment, that equals one entry. You can then subscribe to Beautiful Craziness and enter to win again. So you can enter a total of 2 entries per person. (If you comment 5 times you still only get 1 entry.)
If you are already a subscriber all you have to do is comment and you will be entered in twice.

3. All comments/subscribers after midnight on Monday, April 14th will not be entered in the giveaway.

4. The winner will be announced on Tuesday, April 15th on Tuesday's blog post and contacted via email. The ebook will be sent directly to the winners email after I have heard back from them. If I do not hear back from the winner, I will select another winner.

5. Share, comment and subscribe!!! 

So...How will you celebrate and be intentional with your family this Easter?

You are His Beloved,

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Mama Sit Down

"Mama sit down?"

I'm running.

Constantly going.

To ballet, to piano, to football, to small group, to science classes, to park days.

Going to the grocery store, to moms night out, to doctor appointments, to church.

"But mama, sit."

I'm working.

Slaying the laundry dragon daily. Cleaning one mess and then another.

Making another meal, washing another dish, walking up and down the stairs with a basket of toys, clean clothes to be put away, dirty clothes to be washed again, misplaced shoes that lost its pair.

"Mama, sit."

I'm planning.

Monthly meals, blog posts, vacations, summer, budgets, pinterest projects, garden plans, curriculum, lessons.

The planning never ends.

"Mama, sit down."

I'm listing.

Oh the lists. 

To do. To be. To have. To make. To go. To buy. To save.

"But mama, please sit."

I'm socializing.

A phone in hand, an ipad on my lap and a computer on the table.

I pin. I crush. I mail. I comment. I like. I share. I tweet. I search.

"But mama..."

I look down at the 2 year old.

The toddler.

The almost big girl.

The baby who just yesterday fit perfectly into my arms 

and today speaks almost clearly and directly.

"Mama sit!"

"Sit down Mama. Please."

And so I obey.

I sit.

Mama, sit down.

Stop running mama.

All the extras can wait.

But Mama, just sit.

Stop working mama.

The laundry will never end and the mess will return again.

They won't go hungry and the stairs will still stand.

Mama sit.

Stop planning mama.

The future can wait.

The present is now. She's asking for you.

Mama sit down.

Stop making the lists.

The only thing to do is hold the one who is calling you.

Mama please sit.

Stop socializing mama.

Shut off the screens and sit with the ones worth sharing this moment with.

Sit down mama.

Sit down mama.

Be still.

Tomorrow will be here too soon.

You are His Beloved,

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