A flower by any other name...

With my first two kids I had names picked out. I knew exactly what their names would be, no pronblem.

When I was pregnant with my first born my husband wanted a boy. He was not ashamed to speak it out loud, he wanted a boy and that was that. I was a little worried that it may not be a boy for his sake, but I wanted a boy too. I always liked the idea of having an older brother.

And sure enough...it's a boy! We named him Samuel.

I loved the name and I loved that story of the bible. Paraphrasing, Hannah was barren and wanted a baby so badly. She goes to the temple and is crying like a mad lady and Eli comes to her and is like, "are you drunk lady?" And I totally relate to this because when I am really upset or sad about something I can cry like a blubbering fool! So then she asks for a son and sure enough she gets preggo and has a son and then, after the baby is weaned she gives her son to God and he becomes the greatest prophet, Samuel.

I just love that.

Samuel means, "asked of God."

And that's what I did. I asked God for a son. A son who would be strong and independent. A son who would be like his daddy in so many ways. A son who would love the Lord with all his heart and would commit his life to Him. A son who would be a leader, a good brother, a good friend.

And I got that. He is a sweet boy. A great big brother. And he is just like his dad! Strong and independent (Ok so maybe I didn't know what I was gonna get!) He is worth all of it!

When I was pregnant with Baby girl I knew I was having a girl. The Lord had told me this and he said that I neede to really work out some of my issues before this precious child enetered the world. I was going to have a sweet baby girl who in many ways would be just like me...and she so is! I would have a baby girl who would carry with her some of the things I needed to truly break from my life so that I could help her break them so much earlier in her life.

It was a hard pregnancy, not physically, but emotionally. We had grandparents die within a month of each other, we had storms, real ones and metaphorical ones come in and tear up our home and tear up my mind.

It was a pregnacy filled with tears, guilt, fear, sadness.

I had such guilt for the feelings I had, because I felt like my faith was almost nothing. I couldn't trust the Lord and that tore me up inside.

And then Emma came. And in hold my precious baby girl, my faith was restored. Every fear, every tear vanished. She was my saving grace. She reminded me that no matter what was going on around me, after a year of pain and fear and insecurity, she was a christmas gift with a big red bow that reminded me that God is always with me.

Emma means " God is with us."

And so with baby #3 I was very much torn on what to name baby.

We found out it was a girl a few weeks ago! A sweet baby girl, wrapped in pink! I love girls :)

We were between two and I really couldn't decide. I wanted her name to mean something, to be as significant as my other two. I was explaining this to my husband while we were getting ready for church.

At church this past Sunday, during praise and worship I was praying that the Lord would tell me the name. That I would just know without a doubt.

And then this song came on and tears started pouring down. The bridge was sang and I was filled with joy and peace...

"Jesus Messiah

Name above all names
Blessed Redeemer
Emmanuel...

All our hope is in You

All our hope is in You
All the glory to You, God
The light of the world."

We have been blessed in naming our baby girl, Elleyna Ruth Portilla. Elleyna means light and my prayer is that she will be just that. A light to our family and everyone she meets. A light in this dark world.


"Dear Father, I am so excited to meet my sweet girl. Two girls! I pray over their relationship, I pray over their friendship. I pray for my son, that he will be thier protector and that he will be in love with both of them. That he will treasure his sisters and see what a blessed boy he is. I pray for Elleyna, that she will be all that her name means and more. Thank you for such blessing. In your precious name, Amen."

Leaving a Legacy

I am fortunate to be a part of a family that has a legacy.

I have 4 grandparents. Both sets married over 60 years. Both sets who sacrificed, loved and lived. All 4 have loved the Lord their God with all their hearts.

I have two grandparents left here on this earth.

And last week my grandfather suffered a stroke and in all honesty we are praying that the Lord calls him home soon; that his state of unrest and discomfort will be lifted from him as he enters into Glory to Glory.

So that will leave me with one grandmother left on this earth. And she is strong in mind and body and probably will live to be a hundred.

I truly hope so.

I have comfort in knowing that I will see my loved ones again...without a shadow of a doubt.

They are reveling in the warmth of the Son and the beauty of the Spirit in the presence of God almighty; their creator and savior. 

I was thinking of all this as we wait for perhaps what is the inevitable. And I thought...I am a very blessed woman.

My grandparents have lived more than half their lives loving and praising the God that gave them the breath that they breathe.

They have served Him, served others and been certain of His loving kindness, mercy, grace and forgiveness.

I am blessed because of their obedience in serving Him. I am blessed because they taught my parents of the one true God. And my parents taught me to...

" Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." Deutoronomy 6:5-9

They have left a legacy behind. A legacy of following after the Lord.

A legacy that I will teach to my children. A legacy that will be impressed upon their hearts. A legacy that is bound upon them and written on our homes and our gates. A legacy that will be theirs and their children's and their children's children.

"Thank you Father for my family. For my Grandparents and parents who have dedicated their lives to following you. Keep them in the palm of your hand. Be with my sweet grandfather today and in the coming days as his soul prepares to enter into Your grace. Not our will father, but Your will be done. In your precious name, Amen."

Pickles and Cereal

I am at my computer drinking pickle juice...

What do you think about that!?!

So this pregnancy has been a little different from the others...and somewhat the same.
I'm sick. In fact, if you ask my little girl what mommy does all day she sticks out her tongue and says, "Bleh."

Gum is my saving grace. Not the fruity kind, anything pepperminty or wintergreen. Chewing it all the time! For whatever reason it keeps the queeziness down.

And then there are the cravings. And I don't know if they really are cravings or more like this tastes good right now and I don't want to heave it up.

Pickle juice...olives (yuck), ice, popscicles, cereal...those are my main food groups!

That is what I am surviving on. 12 Weeks and counting!

Grow peanut, grow!

I'm gonna go and finish my pickle juice now :)


"Father God, growing a baby is hard work. It zaps all energy out of me. And living on cereal probably isn't helping. I need your grace to get through the rest. I am hoping that the ickiness is over soon! And I am so happy despite it all. You are so good. Keep my baby in your hands. In your precious name, Amen."

Exhaustion

I have never been so tired. I don't remember being this tired in my other pregnancies.

Have I mentioned that I am tired.

Falling asleep as I type tired.

So....this blog will have to go on hold till I have more to say because....I'm tired.

Truth- my house is sort of a mess and I haven't done laundry in like two weeks. I have to get some loads in because my son has one pair of underwear left that are clean.

So I am praying for renewed energy. Because....I am so tired.

Growing a peanut is hard work.

"Father, I am weary, I can barely keep my eyes open. There are morning where I fall asleep on the couch and I don't know what my children are up to in that hour or so. Thank you for TV and movies. Thank you for mercy and grace during this time. Father, tenderly carry me through this and give me a renewed strength to get through each day. In your precious name, Amen."

We're having a baby...

I will take on the tiredness,
I will take on the nausea.

I've never been thrilled about the stretchmarks
and I don't like the uncomfortable sleepless nights.

Pickles and Ice cream have never been my crave,
but sweet tea and cocoa puffs are yumm (though not together!)

9 months and counting. 40 weeks.

Grow my sweet baby, for the Lord has numbered your days
and knew you were growing in me before I did.

I am called to motherhood one more time.
How good and sweet it is!

"Father, I am beyond thrilled. Lord, bless this pregnancy. Make it sweet and healthy. Cover my baby in my womb. Let this pregnancy be the best one yet! In your precious name, Amen."

I surrender All

I've been thinking about surrendering to God and what that means and entails.

I've been wondering if I have ever, really, done that.

Really...

I've been a believer all my life. I have loved the Lord all my life. I have sought Him, I have found Him, I have pleaded with Him, I have cried our for Him, I have been blessed by Him, I have been humbled by Him, I have been healed by Him, I have felt His arms wrapped around me, I have felt as if I had lost Him.

I have grown, I have struggled, I have rejoiced, I have persevered...but have I surrendered everything to Him?

I guess the question is my answer.

I have surrendered many things. Mostly the easy things and even some of the hard stuff.

I have surrendered over my husband to Him, and even my children. I trust Him with them. It took a while and I still at times fear for them, but, when I do, I get my head in check, I pray over them and trust Him. I pray for them daily. Throughout the day. That's all I really can do and I trust Him.

I trust my home to Him. I surrender my earthly possessions to Him.

I even trust Him with my life.

But I don't think I have completely surrendered my life to Him.

I have given Him my life. I have asked Him to use me as his vessel...with conditions. I have confessed my sins, except for the real secret ones that no one really knows about and they really aren't that bad. I trust him with my future as long as it for the most part falls into place the way I have planned it out. I surrendered my dreams and I want them to work out the way I have dreamed them to work out.

So...I am missing something. I say I trust, but to a point.

I don't really pray for myself. I pray differently for myself than I pray for others. When I pray for others, I pray with conviction. I pray the word.

When I pray for myself, my prayers are more like pleadings.

Lord please help me today. Help me have energy. Help me get everything done. Help me not eat too much. Help me to drink water. Help me to get up and read you word. Help me to find time to excercise. Help me to be productive. Help me to speak turth and encouragement. Help me be a good mom. Help me be fun today.

See...pleadings. And as I write this I see a correlation in all these pleadings...it's all about me.

I haven't surrendered me.
If I had, I wouldn't continue to struggle and be defeated in these things. I would be victorious because of His strength and not my own.

And I haven't stopped fighting Him at times.

I haven't given up full control. I haven't surrendered.

What does surrendering mean?

I think surrendering all to God is giving in to Him daily. I don't think it's something we do once and we are free. I think it's a daily prayer, "Lord today I give over myself to you. My selfish ambition, what I want for me, what is not good for me, what I desire I put aside and ask that you fill me with what you desire instead. Make me hungry for you. Make me holy, refine me and then use me however you think is best and all for your glory."

That has to be a daily prayer. Because, we are selfish. We are born into sin and we want what we want when we want it.

If I want to be used by God with conditions, I am limiting Him to do what HE wants to do in my life for others.

If I want to be obedient and be free from bondage, but I can't let go of the little choices I make that yeah, maybe they don't hurt anyone, but they do hurt me because I am choosing to be disobedient.

I get this now. I want to surrender it all. I want to be free. I don't want to hold on to any of this anymore. I want to just let it Go. I want to know that I TRUST GOD. I trust Him. I can be free in Him. I can trust Him.


"Father, I surrender. I surrender. I surrender. Take my empty desires away and fill them with yours. Take my need to control things and fill them with rest. I can't do it all. I can't be strong without you. I can't do anything without you. I surrender. Everyday. I surrender. Fill me to be what you desire me to be."

On Waiting

Waiting...
Not so good at it.

Patience...

Still trying to grow in that.

Knowing that God has perfect timing...

I have been shown that so many times, you think I would get it by now.

And I do. Sorta.

My heart believes it, but my mind...well, I'm constantly trying to get it in check.

And so I wait.

We have been trying to get pregnant for a couple of months now.

So far...nothing.

We never had to really try with our first two, it was just fun and done!

And by try, I mean, we are still just having fun. I'm not going to any measures, just sorta timing it as best as possible, but that's about it.

And so, we wait.

It took me so long to be ok with the idea of having another one. Honestly, I'm still a little afraid of having another one. Pre- and Post partum depression is not fun. It's not fun at all.

I'm a little of afraid of going to the dark side again. I hate that place. But, this time I am prayed up and fighting with the only thing I can fight with, the Word.

I wasn't prepared for the battle with baby girl. I totally lost that one. I ran away, gave in, gave up. I believed every lie, cried every day.

I beleive that PPD goes further than just hormones, I know that has a lot to do with it, but I honestly believe that it is a spiritual battle.

How can we be the wives and mothers that God has called us to be and has blessed us to be when we can barely get out of bed in the mornings or when we are hiding in our rooms crying for no reason at all?

So, this time I am ready. I am praying against it, of course, but in case the darkness tries to take over, I'm fighting this time.

And in the meantime, I'm waiting. Maybe God is taking the time of waiting for preparing me and training me.

It's just hard waiting.

"Father, I make it a rule not to pray for patience :) but, I guess I'll break that rule and ask for a measure of patience. After months of fearing and not wanting, I'm ready. I think I'm ready. I want this. I desire one more. I don't think my family is complete. But when? Help me to be ready for whatever comes along and the whenever. In your precious name, Amen."

The Rules of Femininity

A few weeks ago we were late about to head out to church. I was dresses nicely, earrings, perfume and the kids were in church clothes (our church is of the come as you are mode so church clothes for the boy involve jeans and a nice t-shirt or sometimes a collared shirt and of course I dress the girl up on most days!). I even had on some new shoes that I had fallen in love with and was thrilled to wear them, but when I went to put them on I noticed my toes.

Of course I had noticed that I haven't had a pedicure in more months than I can count, but neither have I given myself a home mani/pedi in quite a while.

Well, we were already cutting it close and so I rummaged around to try to find a color so I could do that magic trick of painting over the existing polish.

Raise your hand if you have pulled out that trick before!

I didn't think I was alone!

But get this....I couldn't find any polish. Nothing.

I had recently cleaned out under my sink and had thrown out lots of polishes and had evidently organized it all so well that I couldn't find anything!

My husband was calling for me to get going, the kids were already strapped in the car, I couldn't fnd any shoes that would look as well without changing outfits and I haven't gotten to organizing my closet yet!

So I went to church. With unpolished toes. Not just unpolished. Chipped.

Luckily the shoes were only peep toed, but still.

Mom, if you are reading this, I am sorry. Totally goes against how I was brought up!

I seriously was very embarrased. I kept trying to hide my feet. And the worst part was that I had new, pretty shoes.

So sad.

So I came to the decision that it's about time I staop neglecting my beauty manegemant.

When I was in college and highschool I took care of myself.

AT HOME!

I didn't rely on spa's and the nail salon, I didn't have money for that then and I can't justify it (or find the time for it) now.

So, I am on the mission to do the same...to take time for me and my skin, my feet, my nails, my hair, etc.

I am on a mission to prevent, to shrink and to clear up.

So bring on the face cream, the masques, the cucumbers, the polishes and conditioners, the excercise (gasp)!

I am going to follow the rules of Femininity!
Every Wednesday I will have maybe a tip, or challenge or just a recap of what I am doing to keep up with my femininity.

This week...Shrinking my pores. I'm off to Ulta to find a good Peel and Clay Mask!

And now I leave you with the sweet song from Summer Magic....

What are your rules of Femininity? Any tips?

"Father thank you for making me a woman. For the joy of being feminine and pretty. For feeling good about myself when I take care of myself and for having the discipline to do so daily. Thank you for razors and haircuts, for make up and pretty jewelry and clothes! Help me to care for my temple in every area, what I put in it and on it and may it all be for your glory alone. In you precious name, Amen."

I am linking up @

Works for Me Wednesday

Titus 2 tuesdays

Raising Homemakers

Weekend Birthday Bash

What a fun, crazy weekend! We celebrated my boy turning 5! We had a spiderman bounce house which was a big hit, pinata with lots of candy, the cake made by yours truly and lots of fun toys! The boy had a great time!

Spring forward caught us off gaurd some so we will be adjusting today and since it is stormy on this first day of spring break and a monday, we have officially declared it as a movie day.

Oh, and a previously loose tooth is not VERY loose and will probably fall out today (which I am a little freaked out about and praying he doesn't swallow it!) I'll keep you posted!

And so the pictures....

"Father, Thank you for 5 years. Thank you for fun b-day parties and for celebrations. Thank you for my boy! In your precious name, Amen."

Half a decade

For half a decade I have had the calling of being mama, mommy, and mom.
For half a decade I have awaken to the joy of a small boy wanting "bweakfist."
For half a decade I have enjoyed shows like Curious George and Clifford.
For half a decade I have been hugged and kissed each day by sticky hands and jam covered lips.
For half a decade I have played, and chased and tickled.
For half a decade I have kissed boo boos away and prayed for sweet dreams.
For half a decade I have rocked, snuggled and cuddled.
For half a decade I have been challenged, overwhelmed and forgiven.
For half a decade I have loved and been loved more than I thought possible.

5 Years have passed, not slow but rather fast and I can still remember that first night of cries, that first smile and that first laugh that passed from you precious lips, how my heart leaped.

5 Years have passed, not slow but rather fast and I can remember your first bath, that sweet baby smell of lavender and milk, your soft, soft perfect skin.

5 Years have passed, not slow, but rather fast and now before me stands a boy. With dreams and fears, with superhero powers and time for only a quick kiss and cuddle.
5 Years have passed, not slow but rather fast and I can see glimpses into the future of a boy who grows in stature and in the Lord as his namesake. The boy will one day soon become a man and so...

the next five years I will treasure even more the ministry of being mom.

The joy of being the one who knows how he likes his cereal, the one who knows which super hero squad he likes, the one who knows he hates being dirty, the one who knows where he left his DS and the one he still goes to when he's hurt.
I'll be the one he kisses goodnight for a few years more, the one who will continue to face his challenges with him head on and on my knees as well, the one who will love him more always.

I have a few more half decades of all those joys. A few more half decades still.

"Father thank you for blessing me with the greatest ministry of mommyhood. Thank you for my son. You knew I needed him more that he needed me. Thank you Father. I pray over the next 5 years. I pray that he grows into a strong, sweet, confident boy and that he finds all that he needs in You. In your precious name, Amen."

Linking up

@works for me Wednesday

@titus 2 Tuesdays

@ Thankful Thursdays

So Thankful...

The last few days I have had a sort of heaviness weigh on me.

Not really sure why? But I have been in prayer over it and trusting that the Lord is moving in all matters.

As I was praying I kept thinking about all the things I am so thankful for and the verse came into my mind, "Enter His gates with Thanksgiving, enter into His courts with Praise."

What better way to fight heaviness than Thanksgiving!

So...what am I thankful for?

1. My husband is so good to me.
2. Sammy and Emma are the sweetest blessings
3. Our home is lovely
4. Grandparents that love and enjoy my kids
5. A little puppy that my son adores
6. A daughter that likes to sleep in!
7. A son that is such a great help to me
8 A husband who works hard for us everyday.
9. A son who makes me laugh out loud
10. little girl kisses and hugs
11. a little girl who is girly to no end!
12. Friends
13. Friends who encourage me
14. Amazing women who inspire me
15. Awesome men of God who my husband calls friends
16. Sewing
17. My productive business that keeps me just busy enough
18. Being able to sew my kids clothes and my clothes!
19. beautiful days
20. Spring time
21. DVR!
22. The food we eat.
23. Coupons that really save us lots of money!
24. The ability to buy things we need and even want.
25. Being able to play with my kids
26. Being able to clean my home.
27. Yummy meals for my family.
28. Spending time with my family.
29. The roses my husband brought home to me yesterday.
30. My God and Savior.

I could go on. But that was refreshing. There really is so much to be thankful for.
What are you thankful for? Go and make a list! God is so good!

"Thank you Lord. Really, thank you for all these things. I don't realize all that you give me and have blessed me with. You constantly show up in my life and I am so thankful for that. I know you are always working on my behalf and that of my family. I love you Lord. In your precious name, Amen."

Armed and Ready

I talked about over here how I felt that this year was the year for prayer. A year where I was going to learn how to be and become a prayer warrior. To daily and without ceasing, even, pray. Over my husband, my children, my church, my friends, my family, myself....

I want my prayer life to grow. I want to hunger for it. To miss it. To really just pray!

So I have found myself doing so...conciously thining about it and therefore doing it..

I pray in the shower. I pray in the car. I pray when I open my eyes. I pray when I am sitting at my sewing machine. I pray in the middle of the night when I wake up. I pray all the time.

It's been refreshing and sweet.

And then came the fight.

I didn't think about the trials that would come my way... I thought I would pray and all would line up nicely because...well, I'm praying!

But the trials have come and  you know what...I have been ready for them. I have been "prayed up" as we use to say.

And these trials have been different. We are not sick like last year. We are not financially hurting, in fact for the first time in our marriage we have extra money and we are desiring to use that money for his kingdom more so than ever. No one is hurting, no one is fearful...but the trials have come in a different light.

And I love how the Lord prepares you. He gets you ready to fight before you even know a battle is on its way.

So, I am fighting. I am praying like never before. It is a battle "against principalities and rulers of this dark world" Eph 6:12, and I am fighting them. Hard. With the sword of the spirit and the shield of salvation and breastplate of righteousness, Eph. 6:11 --

So, whatever you got, Devil...Bring it on. I have been and am on my knees and you have to flee!

Prayer works. Period.

Are you in a fight now? Can I pray for you? Let's fight together for where two or more are He is in the presence with us...He's in my corner!
"Father, thank you for always preparing me for battle. For giving me training before the fight. Lord you know what we are facing and I ask you to be in our corner. Be in the hearts and mind of all who are involved and win. Thank you for your perfect timing, for  your deliverance, for you making the enemy our footstool. You are so good and so worthy of our praise. I Love you Lord, in your precious name, amen."

Linking up at works for me wednesday! Again...Prayer works! It's the greatest tip!

On being quiet and gentle

" You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands." 1 Peter 3:4-5 NLT

"A gentle and quiet spirit."
"unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit." Amplified
"Gentle and gracious" The Message
"Meek and quiet" KJV

The Lord has been teaching me so much of what it means to be "gentle and quiet."

The world has taught us to be outspoken. To speak your mind. To say what you want.

And especially to women, the idea of being meek and quiet was out with the feminist movement.  Now I'm not saying women shouldn't get the vote but, somehow, biblical femininity has been lost.

We have lost the idea of what it really means to be a woman. The battle of the sexes has blurred the line of what is femininine and what isn't.

In the world a woman can wear what she wants, work where she wants, say what she wants, believe what she wants, is the ruler of her body, love whomever she wants....and it all boils down to pure selfishness, greed and pride.

But that is not what the Lord desires of his beloved women. He did not create us to be hard and harsh, he created us to be soft, gentle...feminine.

Again, I am not saying we don't have a say in this world, nor should we be trampled on or dictated to.

The truth is that the Lord knew all along the power that we as women have and by being gentle, meek and quiet, we are able to use our power for good. For the good of ourselves, the good of our children, husbands, homes, relationships, etc, etc.

A woman who is gentle attracts more attention. People trust her more. Feel more secure around her than a woman who is loud and over the top.

A woman who is humble and meek usually is an encourager, who speaks life and therefore has more friends and better relationships.

As a wife and mother we would be better at creating a heaven in our homes if we practiced being gentle and quiet.

When our husband comes home discouraged and disgruntled from a hard day at work. instead of getting annoyed and frustrated by his attitude, think of how his mood would change if instead you quietly went behind him, wrapped his arms around him, embraced him and said, "I'm so glad you are home."

When your kids are fighting over a turn or a toy, instead of yelling, "take turns" or "if I have to go up there..." you go in and hug them so tight and say "let's all play this game instead."

So much easier said then done! But it's quite the challenge.

I struggle with this. I am much better at the yelling or giving in to the frustration.

But God knows that a quiet and gentle spirit produces a quiet and gentle home. A home of peace. I am the atmosphere of my home and when I am not quiet nor gentle, my home is neither as well.

So this week I am going to put all my effort into this.

"Father thank you so much for your word. Thank you for your gentle spirit that is so merciful and always guides me in the direction that I need to go. Father help me this week and always to become quiet and gentle. Help me to moderate the peace in my home. Help me to know when and how to speak. And when I do speak, help me to know the words to use, that they may be honey father to all who hear them. In your precious name, amen. "

Today I am linking up.

Raising my Girl

Baby girl is so much fun. She always wants to play. And she plays very well with others and by herself too. Many times I find her in her room playing with her baby dolls and her rose petal cottage.

She has a little routine every night before she goes to bed as well.

After we brush our teeth and wash our face, and plays in "babba's" room for a bit she goes into her room and she begins by washing her hands, because she is a very clean child :)

She then takes each of her baby dolls and puts them in bed. She usually rocks one to sleep, another might have to go into the corner because "baby bad" and once she gets everyone into bed she then begins to take out the laundry in her little dryer and after it's all out, she puts it all back in.

She checks the oven. And then she goes and has a serves me some coffee (we are hispanicm we don't drink tea at night, we drink coffee :)

And once all of that is done, we read a book, pray and go to bed.

She does this every night.

You know the funny thing is that I never showed her how to do all this, atleast not intentionally.

But even as young as two she watches me. She helps me load and unload the laundry and even the dishes. She watches me cook and clean. She pretends to be a little mommy with her dolls as she rocks and sings to them just as I do to her.

It's almost innate, but also very much learned. She learns it all from me.

I am raising a beautiful little girl. A sweet, lovely little lady. And I want so much from her. I want her to be a good homemaker. I want her to enjoy serving others, serving her family now and her future family. I want her to be content with her calling of wife and mother.

I want that for her as much as I want that for myself, if not more.

The truth is that I struggle with this calling of mine at times. I struggle keeping the house in order all the time. I struggle with the mundane chores. I struggle finding contentment of being mom all day and night! I love it. But there are days when I would rather stay in bed and not want to be needed for everything.

And so everyday I pray that the Lord will help me to find fulfilment and joy in my calling. That there will be a newness to each day and a sweet content every day.

And I pray that my daughter will see the joy of it all and that she will learn from me and desire such a calling in her own life. And that she will do it so much better than I.

"Father thank you for this precious ministry of mine. To minister and serve my husband and children is wnderful work and I thank you for filling my cup each day. Father help me be a good example  to my children. Allow me to speak softly and sweetly, so that they can see that the jo I have is from you and because of them. Help me to find joy and contentment in all I do.In  your precious name, Amen

Linking up at Raising Homemakers...come by for some great encouragement for the beautiful calling of keeping your home.

Love Languages

In the past week I have heard more about Love Languages! I heard it at church. At my women's bible  study and then I read a bit about it on one of the blogs I read. Everywhere I turned, people were talking about the 5 Love Languages. And the funny thing was that it had not even been a week since I had googled it and taken a test to see what my love language is.

I went on to the Gary Chapman website and answered questions like..."Would you prefer if your husband brought home flowers or made you dinner." I, of course would be happy with both, but the flowers won!

And from all of my answers I learned that my first love language is gifts. (Duh)! And my second is words of affirmation.

The other two mid range scores were quality time, that one actually was a close third and in 4th was physical touch. Acts of service came out to be 0! I think service are great, but that doesn't speak to me as much!
I knew gifts would be #1. No doubt. I love getting gifts. I see the thought behind the gifts and I feel appreciated when my husband gets me gifts for no reason. I Love it.

Words of affirmation and quality time was hard to distinguish. I love both. My husband and I can spend all weekend together doing absolutely nothing and come Monday I don't want him to leave! We are friends, homebodies and we really enjoy each other. So quality time is one of our mutual languages. And affirmation, I guess I really need that one. I want to know that he still desires me and loves me and thinks I am great. You would think I get that after the fact that he loves being with me, but it's still nice to hear it!

So with all that said I had one incident this week where my love language was met.

On Saturday I had taken a shower and was getting ready to go to a baby shower for one of my sweet cousins. I was putting on my makeup and I had on only a t-shirt and undergarments.

Um, they were purple, lacy, pretty undergarments.

Well, there I was blow drying my hair when my sweet, girly 2 year old walks in.

She is a petite little thing and reaches right at my hip because, well let's face it, tallness does not run in the family.

Before I can turn around her little hand starts stroking my derriere and she says, "ooh mama, pretty!"
And I replied, "Mama has pretty panties." And she says, "Yeah," as she continued to pet me! "Where mine?"

And that went on to a whole 'nother discussion of her being ready to potty train!

When she toddled out I laughed and thought, "Well Lord, I'll take words of affirmation from my two year old any day!"

"Lord I am so blessed by my kids. Thank you for filling my cup every day. Lord show me how to Love my kids and what their love language is so that I can fill them up. Teach me to continue to speak the love language my husband desires. Thank you Father for your wisdom and you word. In your precious name, Amen."

I'm linking up at Works for Me Wednesday over at We are that Family! Becuase, affirmation works for me! :)

My mom makes mistakes sometimes!

Today my kids and I went to Mcdonalds to eat for a valentine's treat. Daddy was suppose to meet up with us but he got tied up at work so it was just the three of us. I got each of them a happy meal, which we never do because we usually make the kids share a meal with us and share a drink but since it is valentine's weekend and since I like to do small things like that when they are out with me so that they remember it's specail being out with me!

So we said our prayer and the kids started munching away at thier nuggets and fries.

A mother with two boys comes in and she is trying to get her kids to follow her while she carries the tray filled with drinks and food, balancing the tray with one hand while she opens the door to the play area and keeps her eyes on her youngest while he dawdles in as if he has no idea the kind of balancing act his mother is putting on right now!

She is trying to get them seated, situated..."I wanted the blue truck," "Where's my truck," "I want fries," He got more nuggets than me..."

If you have been there say, "Amen!"

So as she gets everyone what they want of course one of her kids drops the drink on the floor and sprite and ice flow.

You could see the pained look in her face but she calmly picked up the cup and looked for napkins but, with all the sauces and drinks forgot to get those!

I, having been in her shoes so many times, grabbed the few napkins that I had and helped her soak up some of the soda. She thanked me and went to get the janitor.

As I was going back to my table the older of the two boys said, "Thank you for helping, my mom makes mistakes sometimes!"

I choked back a laugh and said, "Yeah, all mommies do."

Newsflash! Mommis make mistakes sometimes!

Sometimes I yell.

Sometimes I roll my eyes and get obviously annoyed at my children.

Sometimes I forget to get stuff out of his folder and we are doing homework at the last minute.

Sometimes I mess up dinner.

Sometimes I leave the clothes in the wash overnight and I have to wash them again the next day.

Sometimes I would rather be on the computer than playing with my kids.

Sometimes I give in to what they want so they will stop bugging me.

Sometimes I spend too much money.

It's hard being a mom. It's hard getting it all right. But thank God for his Mercy. Thank God for forgiving kids. You know the beauty of children, is that you may make lots of mistakes, but when you are trying to do what is best for them and praying for God's help in that, your kids know that. They feel that. And even when you make mistakes, they still love you. They still think you are the greatest mom. When you do sit down and play with them...and laugh with them. Those smiles are worth it all. Pure forgiveness and love.

"Thank you Jesus for your amazing Mercy. Lord bless that mom today, let her know that she is a great mom and that she is doing a great job. Lord help me to remember that I am not perfect and that's ok. Help me to remember that I make mistakes. Big ones sometimes. Help me to forgive myself and help my children to forgive me and love me just for being mom. Remind me that motherhood is my calling and my ministry and I will not take it lightly! I love you Jesus. Thank you for making me a mom. In your precious name, amen."

Prayer Journey

I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life. ~Abraham Lincoln


At the beginning of this year I knew that there were going to be a lot of potential changes and newness occurring in our home. And the Lord put a desire in my heart to really be in prayer over all of these things.

And mostly, to become a woman of prayer. A mother who diligently prays over her children; a wife who diligently prays over her husband. A woman who prays over her home and all who come in it.

And so I have begun this Journey.

Every morning I wake up and lie in bed and I hear my husband taking a shower and getting ready for his day. I pray over his day, his work, for favor and blessings. For health, peace and endurance. I thank the Lord every day for Him.

I pray over my kids. I pray for their relationship together, for the day that is ahead of them. I pray they they will learn many things and be open to new things. I pray for their health and that they will enjoy the time they have as children. I pray that they will grow in His grace and have a desire to Love the Lord and to please Him.

And I pray for myself. I pray for energy to get through the day. I pray that I will be a fun mom today. I pray that I will enjoy my kids and the time I have been given with them. I pray for endurance, health and peace. I pray for time to extend itself so I can do my work and accomplish the things that I need to get done for the day. I pray for patience and love to exude from me and that I will be uplifting, encouraging and sweet to my husband and children.

It's hard being a mom. We really do carry the weight of our world on our shoulders don't we? We tend to be burdened by being a good mom, a fun mom, a good wife, a fun wife, a good keeper of the home. We are burdened by the responsibilities, the fears, the wonders, the what if's, the should we's...The list goes on.

And so, I pray. The Lord is sweet and says in His word, "Cast your burden on me and I will give you rest."

And so I rest in Him and pray and TRUST that He is completing the good work in me and mine.

The power is in prayer. The control that we as women want and desire, we have none but we do have power and that is in prayer. All day long, every day...pray. Without Ceasing.

When you wake up and your husband is snoring next to you...pray over him.

When your kids come in and need owie's kissed...pray over their little bodies.

When your 5 year old comes and cuddles next to you on the couch...pray over his heart.

When you 2 year old comes in and gets frustrated because you have no idea what they want...pray that they will learn to speak sweet, life giving words.

When you are exhausted and just overwhelmed...pray that God will give you the outlook and encouragement to keep going and finish.

"Father I desire to be one who prays without ceasing. I desire for my children to know that they have a mother who diligently prays over them. I desire to have a husband that knows he has a wife that is praying and waiting for him in his sweet, peaceful home. Help me to continue on in this journey and to enjoy this time. In you precious name, Amen."

Suckers

You know that scripture where it says something like, if your child asks for a piece of bread your wouldn't give him a stone? And if they ask for fish you wouldn't give him a snake? And then it goes on to say something like just as we give good gifts to our kids so does our Father give even better gifts to us.

Ok, so I totally paraphrased that but you know what I mean.

Anyways, what's interesting is that after this verse is the golden rule...Do unto others just as you would have them do unto you.

Interesting how those two go hand in hand sorta...God is pretty cool like that.

So, a few weeks ago this verse came into my head. I was praying and I just had the feeling. You know the one where you know you have to do something and it's something that you really don't want to do necessarily but nonetheless it's like your good sense just is nowhere to be found!

And so I said, well I will just take a look and see what's out there. And sure enough...it became one of those now or never situations that was more now than anything else.

The decision was made. I had caved. I had given in to the prayers and the wishing and hoping.

I couldn't give him a stone. And we definitely weren't getting a snake!

And I fought it, but the Lord was sweet when He said, as much as you want to give this to him, I want to do the same for you even more.

So, we did it!

Meet the new member of our Family....Lightning

Yup, we're suckers!



"Dear Lord, Thank you for my sweet boy and his precious little pup. Oh how he has prayed and prayed for him and saved and saved! He has been patient and so eager and I love that everyday even after a few weeks he still tells me, "Mom I can't believe I finally got my dog!" My heart bursts with sweet Joy. Lord let them be pals for a very long time. Let this little dog be a faithful friend and let his years be long :) Thank you for teaching me how wonderful it is to give your children such great gifts...You are so good Lord. In your precious name, Amen."

A haven....

I am on a mission to reliven my home. Make it cozier, prettier...add some sassyness to it or something like that.

I have been wanting to take on this task for a while, but since I figured we were going to be moving soon I sort of put that thought away and searched for new homes online every chance I got!

Well, God has other plans for our living arrangements. You know I just figured my plan made sense. We are hoping to have a new baby and with that came a new house ( If only all things worked out the way you plan and just like that! Ha ha!) You see, we have a 3 bedroom home. Master, Boys room and girls room. So the question was, where does baby go? See...that's why we were hoping to buy a new home, get more room, etc.

The problem was that husband didn't have any peace about the whole idea. He wants a new home too but...no peace, no go. And, I sorta didn't have peace either.

So after praying and thinking and pleading (on my part), our prayer is for our walls to stretch some and for contentment and joy in the house of our youth!

Don't get me wrong, I love our home. We have been blessed with this home and in this home, over and abundantly.

It was the home I spent my first night as a bride in, in our dining room my new husband and I opened all our wedding gifts, the home my children came home to, took their first steps in...it's a lovely home. We have had dedications and birthday parties, small group and friends and family gather here. It's a blessed home.

And the Lord is allowing us a few more years here at home.

I know He is planning another home for us that will be just a blessed. A home where we can grow together. And I am so excited about that.

So, in the meantime I am going to do a little redecorating...maybe some painting and definitely some sewing!

Some new curtains in the Kitchen, my craft room is going to be gutted and totally reorganized, but first we will work on the master bedroom.

A haven out of our little heaven here on earth.

The End of a Good Year

Its a new year. New beginings. New expectations. New hopes. New promises. New....

We may be experiencing a lot of new this year. I say "may" because I don't know how it will all play out but the plans are in place for newness.

Perhaps a new home? Yikes! Maybe a new little addition? Yikes, Yikes! And according to Sammy a new puppy!?!

Lots of new...

I must say that 2010 was a good year. A sweet year. The Lord was so sweet to us. It was a quiet year, a year of blessings and comfort. It was good.

So we enter into 2011 with great expectations of what He can do. I have very little control over any of the situations listed above (except maybe for the puppy...though we are suckers when in comes to our kids desires and he has been praying for a pup of his own for over a year now!) But I know that He already has it planned out and just waiting to awe us!

We spent the last part of 2010 in Guatemala with my Dad's family. We had a wonderful time and made so many sweet memories. We hadn't seen my family in a few years and it was so good reconnecting with them.

And so I leave you with some pics...

My Family got Emma a Pinata to celebrate her Birthday when we arrived. It blessed me so!

The Boys

Pretty in Blue....Hydrangea bushes everywhere! Beautiful!

Emma Relaxing at the Coffee Ranch.

In Antigua, Guatemala Parque Central

Sammy and his great grandparents

The kids and second cousin

Sammy riding a horse in Antiqua



My Grandparents Yard...beautifully landscaped!