Beautiful Craziness

A flower by any other name...

2011-06-22T10:30:00.000-05:00

With my first two kids I had names picked out. I knew exactly what their names would be, no pronblem.

When I was pregnant with my first born my husband wanted a boy. He was not ashamed to speak it out loud, he wanted a boy and that was that. I was a little worried that it may not be a boy for his sake, but I wanted a boy too. I always liked the idea of having an older brother.

And sure enough...it's a boy! We named him Samuel.

I loved the name and I loved that story of the bible. Paraphrasing, Hannah was barren and wanted a baby so badly. She goes to the temple and is crying like a mad lady and Eli comes to her and is like, "are you drunk lady?" And I totally relate to this because when I am really upset or sad about something I can cry like a blubbering fool! So then she asks for a son and sure enough she gets preggo and has a son and then, after the baby is weaned she gives her son to God and he becomes the greatest prophet, Samuel.

I just love that.

Samuel means, "asked of God."

And that's what I did. I asked God for a son. A son who would be strong and independent. A son who would be like his daddy in so many ways. A son who would love the Lord with all his heart and would commit his life to Him. A son who would be a leader, a good brother, a good friend.

And I got that. He is a sweet boy. A great big brother. And he is just like his dad! Strong and independent (Ok so maybe I didn't know what I was gonna get!) He is worth all of it!

When I was pregnant with Baby girl I knew I was having a girl. The Lord had told me this and he said that I neede to really work out some of my issues before this precious child enetered the world. I was going to have a sweet baby girl who in many ways would be just like me...and she so is! I would have a baby girl who would carry with her some of the things I needed to truly break from my life so that I could help her break them so much earlier in her life.

It was a hard pregnancy, not physically, but emotionally. We had grandparents die within a month of each other, we had storms, real ones and metaphorical ones come in and tear up our home and tear up my mind.

It was a pregnacy filled with tears, guilt, fear, sadness.

I had such guilt for the feelings I had, because I felt like my faith was almost nothing. I couldn't trust the Lord and that tore me up inside.

And then Emma came. And in hold my precious baby girl, my faith was restored. Every fear, every tear vanished. She was my saving grace. She reminded me that no matter what was going on around me, after a year of pain and fear and insecurity, she was a christmas gift with a big red bow that reminded me that God is always with me.

Emma means " God is with us."

And so with baby #3 I was very much torn on what to name baby.

We found out it was a girl a few weeks ago! A sweet baby girl, wrapped in pink! I love girls :)

We were between two and I really couldn't decide. I wanted her name to mean something, to be as significant as my other two. I was explaining this to my husband while we were getting ready for church.

At church this past Sunday, during praise and worship I was praying that the Lord would tell me the name. That I would just know without a doubt.

And then this song came on and tears started pouring down. The bridge was sang and I was filled with joy and peace...

"Jesus Messiah

Name above all names
Blessed Redeemer
Emmanuel...

All our hope is in You

All our hope is in You
All the glory to You, God
The light of the world."

We have been blessed in naming our baby girl, Elleyna Ruth Portilla. Elleyna means light and my prayer is that she will be just that. A light to our family and everyone she meets. A light in this dark world.

"Dear Father, I am so excited to meet my sweet girl. Two girls! I pray over their relationship, I pray over their friendship. I pray for my son, that he will be thier protector and that he will be in love with both of them. That he will treasure his sisters and see what a blessed boy he is. I pray for Elleyna, that she will be all that her name means and more. Thank you for such blessing. In your precious name, Amen."

Leaving a Legacy

2011-05-23T17:55:00.001-05:00

I am fortunate to be a part of a family that has a legacy.

I have 4 grandparents. Both sets married over 60 years. Both sets who sacrificed, loved and lived. All 4 have loved the Lord their God with all their hearts.

I have two grandparents left here on this earth.

And last week my grandfather suffered a stroke and in all honesty we are praying that the Lord calls him home soon; that his state of unrest and discomfort will be lifted from him as he enters into Glory to Glory.

So that will leave me with one grandmother left on this earth. And she is strong in mind and body and probably will live to be a hundred.

I truly hope so.

I have comfort in knowing that I will see my loved ones again...without a shadow of a doubt.

They are reveling in the warmth of the Son and the beauty of the Spirit in the presence of God almighty; their creator and savior.

I was thinking of all this as we wait for perhaps what is the inevitable. And I thought...I am a very blessed woman.

My grandparents have lived more than half their lives loving and praising the God that gave them the breath that they breathe.

They have served Him, served others and been certain of His loving kindness, mercy, grace and forgiveness.

I am blessed because of their obedience in serving Him. I am blessed because they taught my parents of the one true God. And my parents taught me to...

" Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." Deutoronomy 6:5-9

They have left a legacy behind. A legacy of following after the Lord.

A legacy that I will teach to my children. A legacy that will be impressed upon their hearts. A legacy that is bound upon them and written on our homes and our gates. A legacy that will be theirs and their children's and their children's children.

"Thank you Father for my family. For my Grandparents and parents who have dedicated their lives to following you. Keep them in the palm of your hand. Be with my sweet grandfather today and in the coming days as his soul prepares to enter into Your grace. Not our will father, but Your will be done. In your precious name, Amen."

Pickles and Cereal

2011-05-11T21:42:00.000-05:00

I am at my computer drinking pickle juice...

What do you think about that!?!

So this pregnancy has been a little different from the others...and somewhat the same.
I'm sick. In fact, if you ask my little girl what mommy does all day she sticks out her tongue and says, "Bleh."

Gum is my saving grace. Not the fruity kind, anything pepperminty or wintergreen. Chewing it all the time! For whatever reason it keeps the queeziness down.

And then there are the cravings. And I don't know if they really are cravings or more like this tastes good right now and I don't want to heave it up.

Pickle juice...olives (yuck), ice, popscicles, cereal...those are my main food groups!

That is what I am surviving on. 12 Weeks and counting!

Grow peanut, grow!

I'm gonna go and finish my pickle juice now :)

"Father God, growing a baby is hard work. It zaps all energy out of me. And living on cereal probably isn't helping. I need your grace to get through the rest. I am hoping that the ickiness is over soon! And I am so happy despite it all. You are so good. Keep my baby in your hands. In your precious name, Amen."

Exhaustion

2011-04-12T11:55:00.000-05:00

I have never been so tired. I don't remember being this tired in my other pregnancies.

Have I mentioned that I am tired.

Falling asleep as I type tired.

So....this blog will have to go on hold till I have more to say because....I'm tired.

Truth- my house is sort of a mess and I haven't done laundry in like two weeks. I have to get some loads in because my son has one pair of underwear left that are clean.

So I am praying for renewed energy. Because....I am so tired.

Growing a peanut is hard work.

"Father, I am weary, I can barely keep my eyes open. There are morning where I fall asleep on the couch and I don't know what my children are up to in that hour or so. Thank you for TV and movies. Thank you for mercy and grace during this time. Father, tenderly carry me through this and give me a renewed strength to get through each day. In your precious name, Amen."

We're having a baby...

2011-04-01T10:38:00.001-05:00

I will take on the tiredness,
I will take on the nausea.

I've never been thrilled about the stretchmarks
and I don't like the uncomfortable sleepless nights.

Pickles and Ice cream have never been my crave,
but sweet tea and cocoa puffs are yumm (though not together!)

9 months and counting. 40 weeks.

Grow my sweet baby, for the Lord has numbered your days
and knew you were growing in me before I did.

I am called to motherhood one more time.
How good and sweet it is!

"Father, I am beyond thrilled. Lord, bless this pregnancy. Make it sweet and healthy. Cover my baby in my womb. Let this pregnancy be the best one yet! In your precious name, Amen."

I surrender All

2011-03-23T17:07:00.002-05:00

I've been thinking about surrendering to God and what that means and entails.

I've been wondering if I have ever, really, done that.

Really...

I've been a believer all my life. I have loved the Lord all my life. I have sought Him, I have found Him, I have pleaded with Him, I have cried our for Him, I have been blessed by Him, I have been humbled by Him, I have been healed by Him, I have felt His arms wrapped around me, I have felt as if I had lost Him.

I have grown, I have struggled, I have rejoiced, I have persevered...but have I surrendered everything to Him?

I guess the question is my answer.

I have surrendered many things. Mostly the easy things and even some of the hard stuff.

I have surrendered over my husband to Him, and even my children. I trust Him with them. It took a while and I still at times fear for them, but, when I do, I get my head in check, I pray over them and trust Him. I pray for them daily. Throughout the day. That's all I really can do and I trust Him.

I trust my home to Him. I surrender my earthly possessions to Him.

I even trust Him with my life.

But I don't think I have completely surrendered my life to Him.

I have given Him my life. I have asked Him to use me as his vessel...with conditions. I have confessed my sins, except for the real secret ones that no one really knows about and they really aren't that bad. I trust him with my future as long as it for the most part falls into place the way I have planned it out. I surrendered my dreams and I want them to work out the way I have dreamed them to work out.

So...I am missing something. I say I trust, but to a point.

I don't really pray for myself. I pray differently for myself than I pray for others. When I pray for others, I pray with conviction. I pray the word.

When I pray for myself, my prayers are more like pleadings.

Lord please help me today. Help me have energy. Help me get everything done. Help me not eat too much. Help me to drink water. Help me to get up and read you word. Help me to find time to excercise. Help me to be productive. Help me to speak turth and encouragement. Help me be a good mom. Help me be fun today.

See...pleadings. And as I write this I see a correlation in all these pleadings...it's all about me.

I haven't surrendered me.
If I had, I wouldn't continue to struggle and be defeated in these things. I would be victorious because of His strength and not my own.

And I haven't stopped fighting Him at times.

I haven't given up full control. I haven't surrendered.

What does surrendering mean?

I think surrendering all to God is giving in to Him daily. I don't think it's something we do once and we are free. I think it's a daily prayer, "Lord today I give over myself to you. My selfish ambition, what I want for me, what is not good for me, what I desire I put aside and ask that you fill me with what you desire instead. Make me hungry for you. Make me holy, refine me and then use me however you think is best and all for your glory."

That has to be a daily prayer. Because, we are selfish. We are born into sin and we want what we want when we want it.

If I want to be used by God with conditions, I am limiting Him to do what HE wants to do in my life for others.

If I want to be obedient and be free from bondage, but I can't let go of the little choices I make that yeah, maybe they don't hurt anyone, but they do hurt me because I am choosing to be disobedient.

I get this now. I want to surrender it all. I want to be free. I don't want to hold on to any of this anymore. I want to just let it Go. I want to know that I TRUST GOD. I trust Him. I can be free in Him. I can trust Him.

"Father, I surrender. I surrender. I surrender. Take my empty desires away and fill them with yours. Take my need to control things and fill them with rest. I can't do it all. I can't be strong without you. I can't do anything without you. I surrender. Everyday. I surrender. Fill me to be what you desire me to be."

On Waiting

2011-03-17T16:20:00.000-05:00

Waiting...
Not so good at it.

Patience...

Still trying to grow in that.

Knowing that God has perfect timing...

I have been shown that so many times, you think I would get it by now.

And I do. Sorta.

My heart believes it, but my mind...well, I'm constantly trying to get it in check.

And so I wait.

We have been trying to get pregnant for a couple of months now.

So far...nothing.

We never had to really try with our first two, it was just fun and done!

And by try, I mean, we are still just having fun. I'm not going to any measures, just sorta timing it as best as possible, but that's about it.

And so, we wait.

It took me so long to be ok with the idea of having another one. Honestly, I'm still a little afraid of having another one. Pre- and Post partum depression is not fun. It's not fun at all.

I'm a little of afraid of going to the dark side again. I hate that place. But, this time I am prayed up and fighting with the only thing I can fight with, the Word.

I wasn't prepared for the battle with baby girl. I totally lost that one. I ran away, gave in, gave up. I believed every lie, cried every day.

I beleive that PPD goes further than just hormones, I know that has a lot to do with it, but I honestly believe that it is a spiritual battle.

How can we be the wives and mothers that God has called us to be and has blessed us to be when we can barely get out of bed in the mornings or when we are hiding in our rooms crying for no reason at all?

So, this time I am ready. I am praying against it, of course, but in case the darkness tries to take over, I'm fighting this time.

And in the meantime, I'm waiting. Maybe God is taking the time of waiting for preparing me and training me.

It's just hard waiting.

"Father, I make it a rule not to pray for patience :) but, I guess I'll break that rule and ask for a measure of patience. After months of fearing and not wanting, I'm ready. I think I'm ready. I want this. I desire one more. I don't think my family is complete. But when? Help me to be ready for whatever comes along and the whenever. In your precious name, Amen."

The Rules of Femininity

2011-03-16T09:29:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago we were ~~late~~ about to head out to church. I was dresses nicely, earrings, perfume and the kids were in church clothes (our church is of the come as you are mode so church clothes for the boy involve jeans and a nice t-shirt or sometimes a collared shirt and of course I dress the girl up on most days!). I even had on some new shoes that I had fallen in love with and was thrilled to wear them, but when I went to put them on I noticed my toes.

Of course I had noticed that I haven't had a pedicure in more months than I can count, but neither have I given myself a home mani/pedi in quite a while.

Well, we were already cutting it close and so I rummaged around to try to find a color so I could do that magic trick of painting over the existing polish.

Raise your hand if you have pulled out that trick before!

I didn't think I was alone!

But get this....I couldn't find any polish. Nothing.

I had recently cleaned out under my sink and had thrown out lots of polishes and had evidently organized it all so well that I couldn't find anything!

My husband was calling for me to get going, the kids were already strapped in the car, I couldn't fnd any shoes that would look as well without changing outfits and I haven't gotten to organizing my closet yet!

So I went to church. With unpolished toes. Not just unpolished. Chipped.

Luckily the shoes were only peep toed, but still.

Mom, if you are reading this, I am sorry. Totally goes against how I was brought up!

I seriously was very embarrased. I kept trying to hide my feet. And the worst part was that I had new, pretty shoes.

So sad.

So I came to the decision that it's about time I staop neglecting my beauty manegemant.

When I was in college and highschool I took care of myself.

AT HOME!

I didn't rely on spa's and the nail salon, I didn't have money for that then and I can't justify it (or find the time for it) now.

So, I am on the mission to do the same...to take time for me and my skin, my feet, my nails, my hair, etc.

I am on a mission to prevent, to shrink and to clear up.

So bring on the face cream, the masques, the cucumbers, the polishes and conditioners, the excercise (gasp)!

I am going to follow the rules of Femininity!
Every Wednesday I will have maybe a tip, or challenge or just a recap of what I am doing to keep up with my femininity.

This week...Shrinking my pores. I'm off to Ulta to find a good Peel and Clay Mask!

And now I leave you with the sweet song from Summer Magic....

What are your rules of Femininity? Any tips?

"Father thank you for making me a woman. For the joy of being feminine and pretty. For feeling good about myself when I take care of myself and for having the discipline to do so daily. Thank you for razors and haircuts, for make up and pretty jewelry and clothes! Help me to care for my temple in every area, what I put in it and on it and may it all be for your glory alone. In you precious name, Amen."

I am linking up @

Works for Me Wednesday

Titus 2 tuesdays

Raising Homemakers

Weekend Birthday Bash

2011-03-15T08:34:00.000-05:00

What a fun, crazy weekend! We celebrated my boy turning 5! We had a spiderman bounce house which was a big hit, pinata with lots of candy, the cake made by yours truly and lots of fun toys! The boy had a great time!

Spring forward caught us off gaurd some so we will be adjusting today and since it is stormy on this first day of spring break and a monday, we have officially declared it as a movie day.

Oh, and a previously loose tooth is not VERY loose and will probably fall out today (which I am a little freaked out about and praying he doesn't swallow it!) I'll keep you posted!

And so the pictures....

"Father, Thank you for 5 years. Thank you for fun b-day parties and for celebrations. Thank you for my boy! In your precious name, Amen."

Half a decade

2011-03-08T18:07:00.002-06:00

For half a decade I have had the calling of being mama, mommy, and mom.
For half a decade I have awaken to the joy of a small boy wanting "bweakfist."
For half a decade I have enjoyed shows like Curious George and Clifford.
For half a decade I have been hugged and kissed each day by sticky hands and jam covered lips.
For half a decade I have played, and chased and tickled.
For half a decade I have kissed boo boos away and prayed for sweet dreams.
For half a decade I have rocked, snuggled and cuddled.
For half a decade I have been challenged, overwhelmed and forgiven.
For half a decade I have loved and been loved more than I thought possible.

5 Years have passed, not slow but rather fast and I can still remember that first night of cries, that first smile and that first laugh that passed from you precious lips, how my heart leaped.

5 Years have passed, not slow but rather fast and I can remember your first bath, that sweet baby smell of lavender and milk, your soft, soft perfect skin.

5 Years have passed, not slow, but rather fast and now before me stands a boy. With dreams and fears, with superhero powers and time for only a quick kiss and cuddle.
5 Years have passed, not slow but rather fast and I can see glimpses into the future of a boy who grows in stature and in the Lord as his namesake. The boy will one day soon become a man and so...

the next five years I will treasure even more the ministry of being mom.

The joy of being the one who knows how he likes his cereal, the one who knows which super hero squad he likes, the one who knows he hates being dirty, the one who knows where he left his DS and the one he still goes to when he's hurt.
I'll be the one he kisses goodnight for a few years more, the one who will continue to face his challenges with him head on and on my knees as well, the one who will love him more always.

I have a few more half decades of all those joys. A few more half decades still.

"Father thank you for blessing me with the greatest ministry of mommyhood. Thank you for my son. You knew I needed him more that he needed me. Thank you Father. I pray over the next 5 years. I pray that he grows into a strong, sweet, confident boy and that he finds all that he needs in You. In your precious name, Amen."

Linking up

@works for me Wednesday

@titus 2 Tuesdays

@ Thankful Thursdays

So Thankful...

2011-03-04T08:44:00.001-06:00

The last few days I have had a sort of heaviness weigh on me.

Not really sure why? But I have been in prayer over it and trusting that the Lord is moving in all matters.

As I was praying I kept thinking about all the things I am so thankful for and the verse came into my mind, "Enter His gates with Thanksgiving, enter into His courts with Praise."

What better way to fight heaviness than Thanksgiving!

So...what am I thankful for?

1. My husband is so good to me.
2. Sammy and Emma are the sweetest blessings
3. Our home is lovely
4. Grandparents that love and enjoy my kids
5. A little puppy that my son adores
6. A daughter that likes to sleep in!
7. A son that is such a great help to me
8 A husband who works hard for us everyday.
9. A son who makes me laugh out loud
10. little girl kisses and hugs
11. a little girl who is girly to no end!
12. Friends
13. Friends who encourage me
14. Amazing women who inspire me
15. Awesome men of God who my husband calls friends
16. Sewing
17. My productive business that keeps me just busy enough
18. Being able to sew my kids clothes and my clothes!
19. beautiful days
20. Spring time
21. DVR!
22. The food we eat.
23. Coupons that really save us lots of money!
24. The ability to buy things we need and even want.
25. Being able to play with my kids
26. Being able to clean my home.
27. Yummy meals for my family.
28. Spending time with my family.
29. The roses my husband brought home to me yesterday.
30. My God and Savior.

I could go on. But that was refreshing. There really is so much to be thankful for.
What are you thankful for? Go and make a list! God is so good!

"Thank you Lord. Really, thank you for all these things. I don't realize all that you give me and have blessed me with. You constantly show up in my life and I am so thankful for that. I know you are always working on my behalf and that of my family. I love you Lord. In your precious name, Amen."

Armed and Ready

2011-03-02T13:10:00.000-06:00

I talked about over here how I felt that this year was the year for prayer. A year where I was going to learn how to be and become a prayer warrior. To daily and without ceasing, even, pray. Over my husband, my children, my church, my friends, my family, myself....

I want my prayer life to grow. I want to hunger for it. To miss it. To really just pray!

So I have found myself doing so...conciously thining about it and therefore doing it..

I pray in the shower. I pray in the car. I pray when I open my eyes. I pray when I am sitting at my sewing machine. I pray in the middle of the night when I wake up. I pray all the time.

It's been refreshing and sweet.

And then came the fight.

I didn't think about the trials that would come my way... I thought I would pray and all would line up nicely because...well, I'm praying!

But the trials have come and you know what...I have been ready for them. I have been "prayed up" as we use to say.

And these trials have been different. We are not sick like last year. We are not financially hurting, in fact for the first time in our marriage we have extra money and we are desiring to use that money for his kingdom more so than ever. No one is hurting, no one is fearful...but the trials have come in a different light.

And I love how the Lord prepares you. He gets you ready to fight before you even know a battle is on its way.

So, I am fighting. I am praying like never before. It is a battle "against principalities and rulers of this dark world" Eph 6:12, and I am fighting them. Hard. With the sword of the spirit and the shield of salvation and breastplate of righteousness, Eph. 6:11 --

So, whatever you got, Devil...Bring it on. I have been and am on my knees and you have to flee!

Prayer works. Period.

Are you in a fight now? Can I pray for you? Let's fight together for where two or more are He is in the presence with us...He's in my corner!
"Father, thank you for always preparing me for battle. For giving me training before the fight. Lord you know what we are facing and I ask you to be in our corner. Be in the hearts and mind of all who are involved and win. Thank you for your perfect timing, for your deliverance, for you making the enemy our footstool. You are so good and so worthy of our praise. I Love you Lord, in your precious name, amen."

Linking up at works for me wednesday! Again...Prayer works! It's the greatest tip!

On being quiet and gentle

2011-02-28T21:57:00.001-06:00

" You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands." 1 Peter 3:4-5 NLT

"A gentle and quiet spirit."
"unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit." Amplified
"Gentle and gracious" The Message
"Meek and quiet" KJV

The Lord has been teaching me so much of what it means to be "gentle and quiet."

The world has taught us to be outspoken. To speak your mind. To say what you want.

And especially to women, the idea of being meek and quiet was out with the feminist movement. Now I'm not saying women shouldn't get the vote but, somehow, biblical femininity has been lost.

We have lost the idea of what it really means to be a woman. The battle of the sexes has blurred the line of what is femininine and what isn't.

In the world a woman can wear what she wants, work where she wants, say what she wants, believe what she wants, is the ruler of her body, love whomever she wants....and it all boils down to pure selfishness, greed and pride.

But that is not what the Lord desires of his beloved women. He did not create us to be hard and harsh, he created us to be soft, gentle...feminine.

Again, I am not saying we don't have a say in this world, nor should we be trampled on or dictated to.

The truth is that the Lord knew all along the power that we as women have and by being gentle, meek and quiet, we are able to use our power for good. For the good of ourselves, the good of our children, husbands, homes, relationships, etc, etc.

A woman who is gentle attracts more attention. People trust her more. Feel more secure around her than a woman who is loud and over the top.

A woman who is humble and meek usually is an encourager, who speaks life and therefore has more friends and better relationships.

As a wife and mother we would be better at creating a heaven in our homes if we practiced being gentle and quiet.

When our husband comes home discouraged and disgruntled from a hard day at work. instead of getting annoyed and frustrated by his attitude, think of how his mood would change if instead you quietly went behind him, wrapped his arms around him, embraced him and said, "I'm so glad you are home."

When your kids are fighting over a turn or a toy, instead of yelling, "take turns" or "if I have to go up there..." you go in and hug them so tight and say "let's all play this game instead."

So much easier said then done! But it's quite the challenge.

I struggle with this. I am much better at the yelling or giving in to the frustration.

But God knows that a quiet and gentle spirit produces a quiet and gentle home. A home of peace. I am the atmosphere of my home and when I am not quiet nor gentle, my home is neither as well.

So this week I am going to put all my effort into this.

"Father thank you so much for your word. Thank you for your gentle spirit that is so merciful and always guides me in the direction that I need to go. Father help me this week and always to become quiet and gentle. Help me to moderate the peace in my home. Help me to know when and how to speak. And when I do speak, help me to know the words to use, that they may be honey father to all who hear them. In your precious name, amen. "

Today I am linking up.

Raising my Girl

2011-02-23T10:56:00.001-06:00

Baby girl is so much fun. She always wants to play. And she plays very well with others and by herself too. Many times I find her in her room playing with her baby dolls and her rose petal cottage.

She has a little routine every night before she goes to bed as well.

After we brush our teeth and wash our face, and plays in "babba's" room for a bit she goes into her room and she begins by washing her hands, because she is a very clean child :)

She then takes each of her baby dolls and puts them in bed. She usually rocks one to sleep, another might have to go into the corner because "baby bad" and once she gets everyone into bed she then begins to take out the laundry in her little dryer and after it's all out, she puts it all back in.

She checks the oven. And then she goes and has a serves me some coffee (we are hispanicm we don't drink tea at night, we drink coffee :)

And once all of that is done, we read a book, pray and go to bed.

She does this every night.

You know the funny thing is that I never showed her how to do all this, atleast not intentionally.

But even as young as two she watches me. She helps me load and unload the laundry and even the dishes. She watches me cook and clean. She pretends to be a little mommy with her dolls as she rocks and sings to them just as I do to her.

It's almost innate, but also very much learned. She learns it all from me.

I am raising a beautiful little girl. A sweet, lovely little lady. And I want so much from her. I want her to be a good homemaker. I want her to enjoy serving others, serving her family now and her future family. I want her to be content with her calling of wife and mother.

I want that for her as much as I want that for myself, if not more.

The truth is that I struggle with this calling of mine at times. I struggle keeping the house in order all the time. I struggle with the mundane chores. I struggle finding contentment of being mom all day and night! I love it. But there are days when I would rather stay in bed and not want to be needed for everything.

And so everyday I pray that the Lord will help me to find fulfilment and joy in my calling. That there will be a newness to each day and a sweet content every day.

And I pray that my daughter will see the joy of it all and that she will learn from me and desire such a calling in her own life. And that she will do it so much better than I.

"Father thank you for this precious ministry of mine. To minister and serve my husband and children is wnderful work and I thank you for filling my cup each day. Father help me be a good example to my children. Allow me to speak softly and sweetly, so that they can see that the jo I have is from you and because of them. Help me to find joy and contentment in all I do.In your precious name, Amen

Linking up at Raising Homemakers...come by for some great encouragement for the beautiful calling of keeping your home.

Love Languages

2011-02-22T13:06:00.002-06:00

In the past week I have heard more about Love Languages! I heard it at church. At my women's bible study and then I read a bit about it on one of the blogs I read. Everywhere I turned, people were talking about the 5 Love Languages. And the funny thing was that it had not even been a week since I had googled it and taken a test to see what my love language is.

I went on to the Gary Chapman website and answered questions like..."Would you prefer if your husband brought home flowers or made you dinner." I, of course would be happy with both, but the flowers won!

And from all of my answers I learned that my first love language is gifts. (Duh)! And my second is words of affirmation.

The other two mid range scores were quality time, that one actually was a close third and in 4th was physical touch. Acts of service came out to be 0! I think service are great, but that doesn't speak to me as much!
I knew gifts would be #1. No doubt. I love getting gifts. I see the thought behind the gifts and I feel appreciated when my husband gets me gifts for no reason. I Love it.

Words of affirmation and quality time was hard to distinguish. I love both. My husband and I can spend all weekend together doing absolutely nothing and come Monday I don't want him to leave! We are friends, homebodies and we really enjoy each other. So quality time is one of our mutual languages. And affirmation, I guess I really need that one. I want to know that he still desires me and loves me and thinks I am great. You would think I get that after the fact that he loves being with me, but it's still nice to hear it!

So with all that said I had one incident this week where my love language was met.

On Saturday I had taken a shower and was getting ready to go to a baby shower for one of my sweet cousins. I was putting on my makeup and I had on only a t-shirt and undergarments.

Um, they were purple, lacy, pretty undergarments.

Well, there I was blow drying my hair when my sweet, girly 2 year old walks in.

She is a petite little thing and reaches right at my hip because, well let's face it, tallness does not run in the family.

Before I can turn around her little hand starts stroking my derriere and she says, "ooh mama, pretty!"
And I replied, "Mama has pretty panties." And she says, "Yeah," as she continued to pet me! "Where mine?"

And that went on to a whole 'nother discussion of her being ready to potty train!

When she toddled out I laughed and thought, "Well Lord, I'll take words of affirmation from my two year old any day!"

"Lord I am so blessed by my kids. Thank you for filling my cup every day. Lord show me how to Love my kids and what their love language is so that I can fill them up. Teach me to continue to speak the love language my husband desires. Thank you Father for your wisdom and you word. In your precious name, Amen."

I'm linking up at Works for Me Wednesday over at We are that Family! Becuase, affirmation works for me! :)

My mom makes mistakes sometimes!

2011-02-11T16:35:00.000-06:00

Today my kids and I went to Mcdonalds to eat for a valentine's treat. Daddy was suppose to meet up with us but he got tied up at work so it was just the three of us. I got each of them a happy meal, which we never do because we usually make the kids share a meal with us and share a drink but since it is valentine's weekend and since I like to do small things like that when they are out with me so that they remember it's specail being out with me!

So we said our prayer and the kids started munching away at thier nuggets and fries.

A mother with two boys comes in and she is trying to get her kids to follow her while she carries the tray filled with drinks and food, balancing the tray with one hand while she opens the door to the play area and keeps her eyes on her youngest while he dawdles in as if he has no idea the kind of balancing act his mother is putting on right now!

She is trying to get them seated, situated..."I wanted the blue truck," "Where's my truck," "I want fries," He got more nuggets than me..."

If you have been there say, "Amen!"

So as she gets everyone what they want of course one of her kids drops the drink on the floor and sprite and ice flow.

You could see the pained look in her face but she calmly picked up the cup and looked for napkins but, with all the sauces and drinks forgot to get those!

I, having been in her shoes so many times, grabbed the few napkins that I had and helped her soak up some of the soda. She thanked me and went to get the janitor.

As I was going back to my table the older of the two boys said, "Thank you for helping, my mom makes mistakes sometimes!"

I choked back a laugh and said, "Yeah, all mommies do."

Newsflash! Mommis make mistakes sometimes!

Sometimes I yell.

Sometimes I roll my eyes and get obviously annoyed at my children.

Sometimes I forget to get stuff out of his folder and we are doing homework at the last minute.

Sometimes I mess up dinner.

Sometimes I leave the clothes in the wash overnight and I have to wash them again the next day.

Sometimes I would rather be on the computer than playing with my kids.

Sometimes I give in to what they want so they will stop bugging me.

Sometimes I spend too much money.

It's hard being a mom. It's hard getting it all right. But thank God for his Mercy. Thank God for forgiving kids. You know the beauty of children, is that you may make lots of mistakes, but when you are trying to do what is best for them and praying for God's help in that, your kids know that. They feel that. And even when you make mistakes, they still love you. They still think you are the greatest mom. When you do sit down and play with them...and laugh with them. Those smiles are worth it all. Pure forgiveness and love.

"Thank you Jesus for your amazing Mercy. Lord bless that mom today, let her know that she is a great mom and that she is doing a great job. Lord help me to remember that I am not perfect and that's ok. Help me to remember that I make mistakes. Big ones sometimes. Help me to forgive myself and help my children to forgive me and love me just for being mom. Remind me that motherhood is my calling and my ministry and I will not take it lightly! I love you Jesus. Thank you for making me a mom. In your precious name, amen."

Prayer Journey

2011-02-08T11:30:00.001-06:00

I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life. ~Abraham Lincoln

At the beginning of this year I knew that there were going to be a lot of potential changes and newness occurring in our home. And the Lord put a desire in my heart to really be in prayer over all of these things.

And mostly, to become a woman of prayer. A mother who diligently prays over her children; a wife who diligently prays over her husband. A woman who prays over her home and all who come in it.

And so I have begun this Journey.

Every morning I wake up and lie in bed and I hear my husband taking a shower and getting ready for his day. I pray over his day, his work, for favor and blessings. For health, peace and endurance. I thank the Lord every day for Him.

I pray over my kids. I pray for their relationship together, for the day that is ahead of them. I pray they they will learn many things and be open to new things. I pray for their health and that they will enjoy the time they have as children. I pray that they will grow in His grace and have a desire to Love the Lord and to please Him.

And I pray for myself. I pray for energy to get through the day. I pray that I will be a fun mom today. I pray that I will enjoy my kids and the time I have been given with them. I pray for endurance, health and peace. I pray for time to extend itself so I can do my work and accomplish the things that I need to get done for the day. I pray for patience and love to exude from me and that I will be uplifting, encouraging and sweet to my husband and children.

It's hard being a mom. We really do carry the weight of our world on our shoulders don't we? We tend to be burdened by being a good mom, a fun mom, a good wife, a fun wife, a good keeper of the home. We are burdened by the responsibilities, the fears, the wonders, the what if's, the should we's...The list goes on.

And so, I pray. The Lord is sweet and says in His word, "Cast your burden on me and I will give you rest."

And so I rest in Him and pray and TRUST that He is completing the good work in me and mine.

The power is in prayer. The control that we as women want and desire, we have none but we do have power and that is in prayer. All day long, every day...pray. Without Ceasing.

When you wake up and your husband is snoring next to you...pray over him.

When your kids come in and need owie's kissed...pray over their little bodies.

When your 5 year old comes and cuddles next to you on the couch...pray over his heart.

When you 2 year old comes in and gets frustrated because you have no idea what they want...pray that they will learn to speak sweet, life giving words.

When you are exhausted and just overwhelmed...pray that God will give you the outlook and encouragement to keep going and finish.

"Father I desire to be one who prays without ceasing. I desire for my children to know that they have a mother who diligently prays over them. I desire to have a husband that knows he has a wife that is praying and waiting for him in his sweet, peaceful home. Help me to continue on in this journey and to enjoy this time. In you precious name, Amen."

Suckers

2011-02-03T09:40:00.000-06:00

You know that scripture where it says something like, if your child asks for a piece of bread your wouldn't give him a stone? And if they ask for fish you wouldn't give him a snake? And then it goes on to say something like just as we give good gifts to our kids so does our Father give even better gifts to us.

Ok, so I totally paraphrased that but you know what I mean.

Anyways, what's interesting is that after this verse is the golden rule...Do unto others just as you would have them do unto you.

Interesting how those two go hand in hand sorta...God is pretty cool like that.

So, a few weeks ago this verse came into my head. I was praying and I just had the feeling. You know the one where you know you have to do something and it's something that you really don't want to do necessarily but nonetheless it's like your good sense just is nowhere to be found!

And so I said, well I will just take a look and see what's out there. And sure enough...it became one of those now or never situations that was more now than anything else.

The decision was made. I had caved. I had given in to the prayers and the wishing and hoping.

I couldn't give him a stone. And we definitely weren't getting a snake!

And I fought it, but the Lord was sweet when He said, as much as you want to give this to him, I want to do the same for you even more.

So, we did it!

Meet the new member of our Family....Lightning

Yup, we're suckers!

"Dear Lord, Thank you for my sweet boy and his precious little pup. Oh how he has prayed and prayed for him and saved and saved! He has been patient and so eager and I love that everyday even after a few weeks he still tells me, "Mom I can't believe I finally got my dog!" My heart bursts with sweet Joy. Lord let them be pals for a very long time. Let this little dog be a faithful friend and let his years be long :) Thank you for teaching me how wonderful it is to give your children such great gifts...You are so good Lord. In your precious name, Amen."

A haven....

2011-02-01T18:21:00.000-06:00

I am on a mission to reliven my home. Make it cozier, prettier...add some sassyness to it or something like that.

I have been wanting to take on this task for a while, but since I figured we were going to be moving soon I sort of put that thought away and searched for new homes online every chance I got!

Well, God has other plans for our living arrangements. You know I just figured my plan made sense. We are hoping to have a new baby and with that came a new house ( If only all things worked out the way you plan and just like that! Ha ha!) You see, we have a 3 bedroom home. Master, Boys room and girls room. So the question was, where does baby go? See...that's why we were hoping to buy a new home, get more room, etc.

The problem was that husband didn't have any peace about the whole idea. He wants a new home too but...no peace, no go. And, I sorta didn't have peace either.

So after praying and thinking and pleading (on my part), our prayer is for our walls to stretch some and for contentment and joy in the house of our youth!

Don't get me wrong, I love our home. We have been blessed with this home and in this home, over and abundantly.

It was the home I spent my first night as a bride in, in our dining room my new husband and I opened all our wedding gifts, the home my children came home to, took their first steps in...it's a lovely home. We have had dedications and birthday parties, small group and friends and family gather here. It's a blessed home.

And the Lord is allowing us a few more years here at home.

I know He is planning another home for us that will be just a blessed. A home where we can grow together. And I am so excited about that.

So, in the meantime I am going to do a little redecorating...maybe some painting and definitely some sewing!

Some new curtains in the Kitchen, my craft room is going to be gutted and totally reorganized, but first we will work on the master bedroom.

A haven out of our little heaven here on earth.

The End of a Good Year

2011-01-20T15:26:00.000-06:00

Its a new year. New beginings. New expectations. New hopes. New promises. New....

We may be experiencing a lot of new this year. I say "may" because I don't know how it will all play out but the plans are in place for newness.

Perhaps a new home? Yikes! Maybe a new little addition? Yikes, Yikes! And according to Sammy a new puppy!?!

Lots of new...

I must say that 2010 was a good year. A sweet year. The Lord was so sweet to us. It was a quiet year, a year of blessings and comfort. It was good.

So we enter into 2011 with great expectations of what He can do. I have very little control over any of the situations listed above (except maybe for the puppy...though we are suckers when in comes to our kids desires and he has been praying for a pup of his own for over a year now!) But I know that He already has it planned out and just waiting to awe us!

We spent the last part of 2010 in Guatemala with my Dad's family. We had a wonderful time and made so many sweet memories. We hadn't seen my family in a few years and it was so good reconnecting with them.

And so I leave you with some pics...

My Family got Emma a Pinata to celebrate her Birthday when we arrived. It blessed me so!

The Boys

Pretty in Blue....Hydrangea bushes everywhere! Beautiful!

Emma Relaxing at the Coffee Ranch.

In Antigua, Guatemala Parque Central

Sammy and his great grandparents

The kids and second cousin

Sammy riding a horse in Antiqua

My Grandparents Yard...beautifully landscaped!

It's Begining to Look A lot like Christmas!

2010-12-10T09:26:00.000-06:00

Unfortunately I have not been keeping up with my blog for a while now. Though I hope to continue keeping freinds and family updated more so in the coming year. So, because of my lack of dedication to my sweet, beautiful and crazy blog I am going to bring you up to speed on my beautiful, crazy life in a sort of holiday newsletter.

I think this is a great idea because, a) I'm not "actually" sending out a holiday newsletter; b) I can fill you in on all accounts of our happenings; and c) I save on stamps.

So....Let's begin...

Greetings Family and Friends! (Those of you who know me well will appreciate the fact that I am cracking up right now thinking about that FRIENDS episode where Ross talks about his "Geller Yeller!")

This has been such an amazing year of blessings. After two years of waiting on God, throwing all things aside and really placing our trust in Him, He as always came through in awe and wonder.

As most of you know 2008 was a very difficult year, a year of loss and pain that ended with the beautiful blessing of the sweet birth of our baby girl. She is constantly a reminder to me of the fact that I can trust Him to do amazing things. As we moved into 2009, we faced a year of insecurity when it came to Orlando's job situation and again we trusted the Lord as He continued to close doors when it came to transferring to another city. Praise God for a Husband who waits on the Lord!

And so we waited. And again, He did the unthinkable.

In February this year Orlando left banking after 12 years and began a new career in chemical importing/ exporting and drawbacks. I can't really even tell you what that all entails, but I can tell you that it was what we had been praying for and desiring and it is more than what we imagined!

The company is relatively smaller, though large in the industry. It was nothing He had ever done, but he is doing great and has been such an asset to them and I am so proud of him. The people he works for are amazing men of God with integrity and generosity and Orlando is learning so much more than just about the industry. And the best part is that he is again 10 minutes from home (if he catches the lights!).

He gets home early, is able to go to the kids games and school activities and though he travels a little bit more, he gets to go to fun places like New Orleans and New York City and I get to tag along and have fun while he works!

The kids are growing too fast!

Sammy is so fun. He has a great sense of humor and likes to play jokes and kid around. He is still in love with his sister and takes pride in teaching her so many things. They have so much fun together.

He is in his last year of preschool and will be starting Kindergarten in the fall (more on that later). He loves his teachers this year and has had so much fun and is learning so much. He is into science and dinosaurs and superheros. All boy.

This is also his first year in a children's small group at our church and he has been doing so well. Each week he has a lesson with homework and a scripture to memorize. Up to date he has memorized 10 verses and still remembers most of them! The most exciting news was that in October as we were doing his homework together he asked Jesus to live in his Heart. It was an amazing, sweet moment for me and we celebrated by making a birthday cake since he was "Born Again!" He told everyone that he was "a Christian now." Our prayers that he would seek the Lord at a young age were answered!
This year was our first year of sports. The craziness has begun! Our Saturdays were filled with t-ball and soccer. He enjoyed both, but LOVED soccer. He was quite a little stud, scoring many of the goals at each game. He put a lot of pressure on himself to score and it was difficult when he didn't. Orlando was a very proud dad and was glad Sammy tried so hard. It was a lot of fun. He had a whole entourage at his games, for both our parents came each time and we, to say the least, were loud. You would have thought it was the World Cup instead of the YMCA!

Sammy winning the MVP Ball

Emma cheering on her "Babba!"

Emma is becoming the prettiest, sweetest girl. Her blue eyes have stuck which constantly amaze me! She is such a joy and this year has been so much fun with her. Having her home while Sammy is at school twice a week has been so great. We have so much fun playing and singing. She loves to sing. She is a big fan of Barney, Elmo and Dinosaur train! She sings herself to sleep, she loves to dance around and she is so girly! After my own heart! She comes into the room when I dress her and tells her daddy, "See daddy, I pretty!" It's the cutest thing.

She loves her my little ponies and her baby doll, "Shoo shoo." She's already a little mommy! Her favorite thing to play with is her stroller and she sets the doll in it and pushes her around the house all day waving and saying, "Bye mommy."

Emma with "Shoo shoo," and her "Bie."

They are both such fun and such blessings and there is no better sound than to hear them playing and laughing together.

As you can imagine, two kids can keep you pretty busy. Sometimes I don't know where my head is, but we have so much fun together.

This year has been enlightening for me as well. It has been a year of complete, sweet joy that I haven't had in a while. You know that deep within Joy from the Holy Spirit. I spend my days enjoying my kids and my husband.

Earlier in the year a friend was unknowingly used by God to give me a book that has and will change our lives! It changed they way we think about raising our kids and about our priorities. And in the spring we made the decision that we will be homeschooling the kids. The thought of starting this in the coming year is a little scary and exciting at the same time! About 90% scary and 10% exciting! The great thing is that we will be surrounded by a few other families who are also begining this journey and who have the same goals and desires for our kids. God is moving in ways we don't even know yet.

Last year I started a small little business of embroidery and children's clothing. I added some accessories and some women's clothing this holiday season and it has been pretty successful. It keeps me busy, but I feel like I am doing my own part and being a Proverbs 31 woman.

The Lord has also been showing me how to be a keeper of my home in many ways. He has taught me how to create a sweet atmosphere in my home, to make him the center of it and to keep it orderly and homey. At times I struggle with this especially when the laundry takes over or the kids drop crumbs everywhere! But it is a discipline that I have enjoyed striving towards.

We are very excited to be ending 2010 with a trip to Guatemala. We know we are going to have an amazing time with our family there and showing the kids where we come from. I hope it will be a wonderful experience for them filled with memories.

And so to 2010...It's been a blessed year...but I have a feeling that 2011 will be a year filled with many wonderful, new days!

Blessings to you all!

I heart NY

2010-06-16T15:06:00.000-05:00

Last week my husband and I went to New York City.

It was glorious.

I have always loved the city. When I was 13 I read a book about friends who lived in the city and from that moment on I was in love. All I wanted to do was live visit.

When I was 14 my mom and I took our first mother daughter trip and where did we go?

You guessed it...New York City...Manhattan...the big apple...

It was awesome. We did all the touristy things. Ate at great restaurants. Saw The Phantom and Beauty and the Beast.

Awesome.

I loved it even more.

We went a few times growing up. And the last time my fiance came with us.

So I haven't been since before we got married 7 years ago.

I miss it already.

We did the MET and they had a street fair and we shopped. We walked through Central Park and saw Mary Poppins which was fantastic and we ate at some amazing restaurants. Delicious.

Fondue at the Artisinal Bistro, A chocolate pizza at Max Brenner's and the most amazing italian food ever...whoa!

We talked about when we would bring the kids and how much fun they would have.

On Monday my husband went to his work conference so I was alone most of the day.

And for a split second I was a bit intimidated. I felt alone, insecure and thought "what am I going to do all by myself?"

Well, I got over it!

It was the best day. The most refreshing day.

It started with a croissant and a latte, lots of shopping (by myself without a stroller!) I walked down 6th to Bryant Part and the NYC library, I crossed over to 5th and did lots of shopping. H&M, Zara, Jimmy Choo (If only)...I bought some shoes, a dress, jewelry, pants and two shirts. I then bought a book and headed to the park. I found a grassy knoll and people watched and read. I then headed back to the hotel and stopped in at Manolo Blahnik's! A perfect end for this shoe loving girl!

I could live there. No problem. I would really enjoy that. Maybe not forever, but given the chance....You never know.

Summer Bags

2010-05-26T13:47:00.000-05:00

It's wednesday and I have a summer lovin' tip for Works for Me Wednesday over at We are that Family.

Ok, so I LOVE summer time.

You know, the long and lazy days of summer.

We spend a lot of time outside, at the pool, the park, etc.

In the foyer of the house I have two bags ready to go.

The beach bag has:

3 towels
a bag of sunscreen ( these are in a separate bag that fits into the beach bag. I use various spfs for myself, plus a bug repellent sunscreen and a stick for the kids faces!)
a plastic bag for wet suits
change of clothes for the kids
chip can ( I don't normally buy pringles except for summer time. Its an easy snack and a thin case!)
a bag of other snacks
juice boxes
goggles
hand sanitizer
pool toys

You never know when you need to head to the pool or a friend calls and says, it's a pool day lets get out there in 30 min. I'm always ready and this way I won't be rushing around and end up forgetting underwear or something!

The next bag is the park bag. In my park bag I have the following:

Buubbles and bubble accessories
A blanket
sun screen
Bug spray
Chalk
A kite
juice boxes
bag of snacks
magnifying glass
binoculars
books
hand sanitizer
baby wipes

In my car I have another bag with the following:

A ball (not in the bag but in the back!)
A frisbee
sand toys
extra sunscreen (just in case)
sun glasses
hats
extra clothes
hand sanitizer

Hopefully with all of these in hand we can get up and go whenever we need to for a fun filled summer!

What do you think is necessary for summer fun!

Happenings...

2010-05-13T15:01:00.000-05:00

* Last week we had an infestation of fleas! (Full body shiver....and now I'm itching again!) Yeah. Word to the wise...do not miss one dose of flea medication for you dog because it's a nightmare! I swear I had nightmares of giant fleas talking to me and telling me they liked my pillow! Bleh! Luckily it is all taken care of and we are in the process of buying a new vacuum cleaner b/c ours no longer works.

* Sammy had a fever for about 24hrs. THANK YOU JESUS it did not last any longer. Have I mentioned how sick of being sick we are over here! Of course he is milking it and says he is still "a little sick."

* He's probably just tired because for the last week or so he has been waking up every morning at 6AM! Luckily he only wants his daddy. The good thing is his pull up is still dry by that time so...

*I taught Emma how to say "Fabulous!" Its Awesome! It sounds more like "abuwas!"

* I went to Mardels earlier and bought the new Francine Rivers book! No idea what its about but I am SO super excited. Perfect timing too because I have been ready to read some good fiction! I need to figure out when to start though...maybe this weekend!

* Sammy's last week of school is next week and I am a little sad. He is having so much fun at school and loves it so much. His teachers are jewels and it has been a very good year for him. He has learned so much and has really become so much fun. He is hilarious and always joking and teasing (like his daddy!). But, I am excited about Summer...already started planning!

* Orlando has been sick with major sinus issues all week. Thus, I have not slept much because I can hear him snore, breathe and get up and cough up a lung all night. I am hoping he is at the end of this soon 'cause ya'll I need my rest.

* My house has been clean all week. I am fairly proud of myself for this feat. Let me tell you, I had been really slacking in this department lately. I just couldn't catch up and tackle anything. But after the whole flea issues (yup, itching again) I got it all squared away. And, needless to say. The house has been nice and clean and organized.

* Mothers day was great BTW. I really enjoyed my family time with the ones I love most. Plus (yeah this is sort of the best part b/c ya'll know I can be frivolous like that) I got a GC to a spa day which includes babysitting from my MIL! I really wanted that. Of course, Sammy told me this morning that he was sad about giving me that. He says it wasn't what I really wanted. He said, in a very melancholy voice, "Mom, what you really wanted was a puppy and I'm sorry I didn't get you that."

What a sweet boy...but after the fleas (still itching!) I am all about pampering myself at the spa!

For My Mother

2010-05-07T00:20:00.001-05:00

I don't have words to share how wonderful my mother is, how nurturing and generous and kind.

Everyone who meets my mother loves her. She is fun and strong and she cares about people.

My mother holds herself with such regard and esteem, she carries herself with such confidence. She has a strength from within that I desire.

And despite the hurts she has faced, despite the troubles she has had, she holds strong to what she believes. She does not waver. She is steadfast and secure.

My mother loves the Lord with all her heart. She LOVES the Lord. He is her source and it is evident in who she is.

People admire her strength. They admire her security and it is all because of who she is secure in - Jesus Christ.

My mother is not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ. She proclaims who she is in Christ and does not back off of it and does not care what others think.

People may reject her God but she stands firm, she does not cower.

I have always found that incredible.

I have always desired that quality. To know who you are, a child of the King, and not worry what anyone things or says. She does that and she does it with grace and dignity. I have always, even as a young girl, admired that. And I pray that I become more like her every day.

My mother is generous. The most generous person I know. She loves to give. She loves to shop, so it works out well for her! But she will give you the clothes off her back if you needed it.

I remember one time we were at the Star of Hope during Christmas handing out supplies to the poor. There was this one, small asian man who did not step up and get any supplies and before we knew it we had run out and were unable to give him anything. At that moment, my mother took her jacket off and gave it to the man. I won't forget the look on his face. He was so thankful. I remember I was fifteen, foolish, frivolous and full of vanity and pride, but in that moment I thought, "I want to give like that." I still do.

If you have a need, she doesn't care how much it costs her, she will do all she can to help you. No questions asked.

My mother is a prayer warrior, like her mother before her. I know my mother prays for my family. She prays for everyone she loves. She prays. Deep, heartfelt prayer. And she doesn't just pray...she believes.

My mother is a woman of excellence. She pushes others to excel, to be better. She will take you out of your comfort zone so that you can grow and mature. She believes in people. She believes in doing your best all for the Glory of God.

My mother loves my kids. And I am so blessed by it. They love their yaya so much. She is wonderful with them and when they are with her I don't worry about them. I know that they are getting more love and attention and candy than any child needs! When I need her help she responds without fail. She enjoys them. I love it.

My mother loves my dad. Despite whatever life has thrown their way, they have a deep love and admiration for one another. She respects him and is the crown on his head.

My mother is my friend. My best friend. Our relationship has grown from being mother and daughter to being true friends. She does not question how I raise my kids. she does not judge or interfere. She advises and encourages with grace.

I would not be who I am or be where I am if it were not for my mom. She pushes me to be better. She believe in me. She taught me to love the Lord with all my heart. She prays for me. And I am the mother that I am because of her.

Happy Mother's Day!

With all my heart...

Secret Garden

2010-05-04T21:22:00.000-05:00

I went walking the other day on on a different trail than normal and I passed by a house with a lovely back yard. They had a pool and what I think is a greenhouse and then in a small corner of the yard was a small garden.

It was so quaint, with nice rows and little signs indicating the plants and little sprouts were coming up...

I LOVED IT!

I have been wanting a little garden of my own for a while now. But I didn't think I had the room for it. Our backyard has lots going on. We have the trampoline in one corner, the playset in the other corner and a few trees and against the fence we have it all nicely landscaped so I only have a few places to put a little garden.

And after seeing how small but perfect this little garden was, I figured I can surely find a place for it somewhere.

We have started eating more healthily and more organic around here. I am making our bread, I have joined a produce co-op that has been super yum, but despite this all I would really love a garden.

My problem...I have no idea how to start one, where to begin, what to plant or where? I would love to be able to use pots as well if possible.

I would also love to grow some herbs.

I live in the deep south. It's almost summer time so maybe it's too late to start planting, but any suggestions or help would be wonderful even if I don't get started until next year.

Lots of tips over at Works for Me Wednesday, so head on over!

Struggling, but Rejoicing.

2010-05-03T10:14:00.000-05:00

I'm having one of those days....one of those days I use to have back in my pre-postpartm days. One of those days from 2008.

I'm struggling today.
But I'm fighting.
Trying.
Trying to fight.

Maybe it's hormones. Maybe I'm tired and my diet needs to change.

My family has been under a sickness attack and I'm not retreating, but I would really like to hide under a rock!

My little girl had a fever again last night. She feels warm today, but is acting fine so maybe it's over.
My house is a mess and I can't seem to get a hold of it!
My dog for the first timein 7 years, ever in her life...has fleas.
So I feel itchy all over.
And it grosses me out.

And I know it's all going to be taken care of today. Got the medicine, she's going to the groomers, etc. And I know my baby girl is feeling better and is getting better.

I'm just weak today.

But, I'm trying to fight.

I have praise music going and I am about to get out of the house.
And during my quiet time I realized that I have to focus on my kids. Enjoy them and revel in them. Nothing else matters but that.

So that's the plan.

This is the day that the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it.

I WILL Rejoice.

Message of Truth

2010-05-01T23:41:00.001-05:00

From the Message...

Don't love the world's ways. Don't love the world's goods. Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father. Practically everything that goes on in the world—wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important—has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from him. The world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out—but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity.

1 John 2:15-17

Tomorrow is the first of many fun nights...

2010-04-29T21:54:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow begins a new tradition here in our home.

A new, fun family night.

I have been waiting for this year. This time. This day.

Tomorrow will be our first ever-

Family Movie Night!!!

Woohoo!

I am a movie lover. I'm the type of person who calls movies, films. The Oscars is my Superbowl. I hate when they make replicas of old films because they never do as good of a job as the original, i.e. Guess Who with Ashtom Kutcher, ugh! Ashton Kutcher v. Sidney Poitier! Seriously? What where they thinking?

Anyways.

As I was saying...I love films. I love cinema. I love original songs and cinematography...I love a good movie.

I don't like, um, stupid movies that have no reason for being. (Yeah, I know I am sort of a snob when it comes to films).

What's a good movie? You ask.

Steel Magnolias, Saving Private Ryan, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, The Bachelor and the Bobbysoxer, The Blindside, Remember the Titans, Covergirl, Singing in the Rain, Thelma and Louise, anything with Morgan Freeman, Barefoot in the Park...and I could go on and on! Almost anything with Tom Hanks!

Classic films, black and white, technicolor, musicals, comedies, tear jerkers, chick flicks...ooh The Philadelphia Story...I love them!

I grew up watching good films. My parents introduced us to good films. My mother taught me who Shirley Temple is and the artistry of Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy. We had movie nights and shared in that. I loved it. One of our favorite games is to quote films!

I remember watching Casablanca with my grandmother in her room. Crying when they began singing La Marseillaise.

I remember watching Shirley Temple singing "On the Good ship, Lollipop!"

I remember watching Dirty Dancing over and over and over again..."Nobody puts Baby in the corner!"

I can't wait to share the movies I love to Sammy and Emma. I want them to know who Audrey Hepburn was and to appreciate how far films have come and how great they are and use to be. I want them to live in a world of imagination and to be able to experience films the way I did.

I want them to think back to when they first saw Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and think of the fun they had with us.

I want to see and hear what they think when Indiana is fighting the Nazis or when Marty goes back to the future or when Scarlet drives the buggy home to Tara or when Anakin turns into Darth Vadar!

I can not wait.

And so tomorrow is the first of these nights.

We'll get out the blankets, make popcorn and put in the film!

What are we watching?

Alvin and the Chipmunks, The Squeakquel!

A place for Everything...

2010-04-27T23:34:00.000-05:00

You have heard that saying, "A place for everything and everything in it's place."

Yeah...that's not the way it is at my house.
I have been under major conviction about this because:

1) nothing is in it's place
2) few things really have a place
3) everything kinda gets lost or misplaced

Thus, the old saying.

For example, as I write this I am sitting in my kitchen looking all around.

On my kitchen table I have the following items (I'd show you pics but we lost our camera and will hopefully have one by the weekend)...

Church Bulletin/notes (which is sad b/c we didn't make it to church this past Sunday so needless to say this has been on the table for maybe 2 weeks)
Mail
Folded gift bag
A picture my son drew for his cousin
Tip Toe Ballerina Board book
A lighter
Lint remover rolly thing

Now, don't judge me yet because I will say that my house is very messy right now. Well the kitchen is for sure...yeah the living room is too! I looked back to check and sure enough I haven't gotten to picking it up yet either (we all know blogging is more important!) Anyways, the reason it is so messy is because my little girl has been very sick and I have been one tired, stressed out momma! (See, I need this blogging therapy!)

So, back to what works for me...

My kitchen being as it is you can see that things aren't in their place. And I came to the conclusion that many things aren't in their place, not just in the kitchen.

Therefore...It is time to create places.

This is the dream...

Not even close!

These are things on my list that need spaces of their own...

Crazy kids Art projects - I don't keep all the kids projects (though I have for the last umm... eight three months because I have not gone through them and decided what goes in the keep pile. A friend suggested these amazing things called "under bed boxes!" And I realized that may just work!

Gift Bags- I recycle a lot of gift bags. I still have bags from my wedding! Right now these actually do have a place...the one on the table just isn't there. I have this large antique furniture piece...let's call it an armoire, where I keep all the bags. This has proven to be an ineffective place to store them so you know where I am going to keep the,,,,Under bed box!

Next...Medicine. I've written about us being sick a lot lately here and here. And I have noticed our medicine is scattered around a few places and I will confess that there have been times when we just can't find the thermometer so I need some crates for under the sink (ha, you thought I was going to say bed didn't you!).

And I think I am going to get a few more crates for random other things that need places. I could go on and on but so far those are the things on my list.

I'm hoping this works for me. I think it will. I crave organization, I've really let things go lately so I need to get better about this. So...tomorrow I'm off to Walmart in hopes that they can help organize my beautiful, crazy home and save me some money too! Now off to find that label maker!

Any other suggestions or tips? For more ideas that work click here.

Sweet Content

2010-04-26T12:59:00.000-05:00

Life has been so sweet. It has been full of blessings and promises fulfilled.

As I mentioned in this post here, I have been trying to not allow the enemy to take this time away from us and despite that we are still fighting against sickness.

I had a moment or two of weakness this past weekend. And my sweet friend over at "The best is yet to come" reminded me to savor every moment and not keep looking for the better.

Wow did I have to hear that!

We have a lot of planning going on over here for summer time.

My husband and I LOVE summer! We are beach people. We like laying by the pool, going to the beach, soaking up the sun, etc.

Our ideal vacation includes a beach and good tans!

So we are ready! It was a cold winter and a rainy spring so bring on the sun!

Anyways, we have a lot of plans for summertime. We are going on a trip to NYC sans children! I am so excited about this, you have no idea! I haven't been to Manhattan since I don't remember when and our trip is booked, musical tickets are ready and woohoo!

We are also traveling with my family to Alabama for a family trip. I am very excited about this as well. It's going to be lots of fun, on the beach every day! Love it! Plus we will be celebrating my parents 30th wedding anniversary while there so it will be a sweet time with everyone.

We also are planning a few trips to our local beach and a few to schlitterbaun as well.

Anyways, with all this planning I suppose I have gotten ahead of myself. I love to plan. I love control over where to go, what to do, etc. I love lists and laying out all we can do! CRAZY!

This is where my problem lies. Control. When I don't have control. When I can't plan. When I can't make lists I go a little crazy!

So, this weekend I went a little crazy b/c I could not plan something, I had no control of it and I really had little power over it.

I knew nothing nor could I do anything!

This control freak was having issues!

And then, I realized...this is just another thing that is taking away from my joy. Another things that is distracting me from this sweet, content, peaceful time.

And it did exactly that. I was totally distracted. I was sad. I was frustrated. I wasn't enjoying anything.

Last night my little girl was sick with fever. She woke up around 3:30 and I went up to hold her, soothe her and give her some medicine. Every time I tried to put her in her bed she would clench on to me, her little hands would grasp my shirt and her legs tightened up around my waist and she would start to wimper.

So I held her.

I was so tired. I was uncomfortable and her fever broke so my shirt was wet from her sweat.

But as I sat there with her I felt such a peace and joy...total content.

Yes, she was sick. I hated that. I had no control over her little body. I was tired, but I treasured that hour. I was able to hold and smell her sweet head and stroke her soft hair. She's getting so big I don't get to do that as much anymore.

Sweet fulfillment.

And whatever else comes along or doesn't, whatever plans I have, none of it matters; God has better plans and great blessings in store and in the meantime I will wait on Him and enjoy my gifts now!

"Father, I am constantly tested and thank God constantly growing! Thank you that I am not stagnant! Not anymore! Thank you for all you have blessed me with. Thank you for plans, they are good. We are going to have a great summer, we are going to have fun and enjoy this special time in our lives. You are so good! In your precious name, Amen."

His Grace is Enough

2010-04-18T22:24:00.001-05:00

We have been sick over here. Lots of sick.

And I'm tired. Tired of the sicky.
The kids have been sick. I have been sick.
Luckily I have been sick more than the kids. Which is better than sick kids though not much.

I was finally able to get some medicine and was starting to feel better when all of a sudden...baby girl is sick.

AUGH!!!

Seriously! Augh!

Sick of being sick!

Here's the thing. I came to a revelation. Enlightenment.

For two years life has been...at times a struggle. Hard. Tiring. CRAZY!

I went through an emotionally difficult pregnancy, house issues from Ike, and the loss of two grandparents.
I walked out of 2008 ready for better. Ready to be new...to not be that sad, depressed girl of the year before. I had a new baby and I was ready for a new me.

But 2009 was...strange...up and down...My husband's job was secure, praise God, but going through lots of changes. Too many changes. Not fun changes. A lot of decisions had to be made. Move or stay. More money, promotion or wait?

We waited because God told us to wait. Wait on Him. Wait for more. Wait.

Waiting is hard. Waiting sometimes.., well it sorta sucks!

2009 passed with little change.

And then, God moved. The waiting was over. The depression of 2008, the tiredness and stress of 2009 were over. God moved.

A new job. A wonderful, more than what we could imagine job came through.

And for the first time in two years I can say that I am 100% me.

I feel stronger, better...me.

I think I have grown so much in the past two years. My faith was tested it failed me...and by it failing it grew by leaps and bounds...more than my faith has ever been in my entire christian walk. I have learned to trust the Lord more. I have become a better wife...a better christ follower. I am careful with my words, I am encouraging, I am not judgemental and not as proud as I use to be.

I'm a better me. And I love it.

All that being said, I haven't really enjoyed this time of sweetness, of this new me, of blessing because...I've been sick.

The enemy thinks he's slick, doesn't he? Everything else is beautiful, but all he has to do is make me physically ill and he thinks he is able to take away that Joy. That Peace. The things I have been patiently waiting on for years now!

I DON"T THINK SO!

I KNOW that no weapon formed against me shall prosper! And I am not going to let this sickness take over my joy and peace that I have been waiting for for so long! NO WAY! I am going to sing and dance and Praise my God despite it all! Because this time is sweet. It is precious. The enemy has taken too much time away and I am not giving him anymore! So if he thinks I am going to fall into that dreary, sad, poor me pit again, he's got another thing coming!

My God is good. He is so Good. He is my healer and my provider. And he is healing me right now. He is healing my kids right now. And we are going to revel in this time. Revel in his blessings.

I am going to enjoy life like never before. I've been to ugly. I was ugly! I will not go back. And if it get scary again. If it gets ugly again, and it can very well get that way because this is the life we live in, then I will face that ugly and scary head on and I will know how fight and how to praise and how to pray and how to have faith and trust that My God is protecting me and fighting for me.

"Father, thank you for this time of sweetness. I have missed it. And it is so good. Help me to revel in it. To enjoy it. To hold on to it. Thank you for this peace and this Joy. It is so precious to me and I am not letting it go. Thank you for the fire Lord. It was hard. It was painful but I have been purified and am more complete. I know I have a lot more to learn and a lot more growing but I am willing and wanting it because it makes me a better me, a better wife, a better mom and a better friend. I love you Lord. In your precious name, Amen."

Some fun...

2010-03-24T11:06:00.001-05:00

I am copying a post from one of my bloggy pals this week. We have been so sick this past week...we'll I have been sick and praising God that my kids and husband have been saved from it! Either way, I have been tired, sick and ready to get out of this yucky point and move on to more energy and feel goodiness!

So, all that being said I read a post from Amanda, at Vintage Dutch Girl and she as always made me laugh and I decided to take her questions and answer them myself...it takes little brain power but it's fun! Plus I know how much you are just wanting to know more about me so...Here goes. ( And I promise to have a fun, here's what's going on in my life post next week!)

High heels or boots? High heels...always high heels. As my friend says, even my flip flops have some height on them! I'm short...5'2 1/2 and I insist on the half! When you're short you gotta wear heels, at least that is what I have told myself since 1995! Funny story, one time my husband, at the time boyfriend, was at my house and I was walking around barefoot. All of a sudden he looks at me with this questioning, shocked look and says, "When did you get so short?" We still laugh about that today! Of course I love boots...with a nice stiletto heel!

What time did you get up this morning? 7:30...my goal is to start getting up at 7, going out for a walk and making breakfast for my husband, especially now that he is leaving much later. It's really the only time I am going to be able to get up and work out...plus it's spring and spring mornings are the best times to walk! And we are going to NYC in June and my goal is to lose ~~20 lbs~~ a few lbs. before so I can enjoy my shopping at Saks, bloomingdales and Barneys!

Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds are a girls best friend! I love pearls too though, but I have this idea that I can't wear perals until I am 40. I don't know why...but I think that pearls are so classy and you don't become really, super classy till 40 with fabulous pearls!

What was the last film you saw at the cinema? I have to agree with my pal Amanda, here...we don't do theaters anymore...which in a way is sad because I love films. My parents instilled a love for all films at a young age...it's what we did. But for this stage in life, we don't take the kids to the movies and honestly...it's super expensive! Seriously...$20 for tickets only! For crying out loud! So, we are big fans of the red box thingy...in fact that has been a part of our date nights for the last few...and I gotta say that I love it. We drop off the kids at the grandparents, order take out (which is cheaper b/c we don't have to pay a tip) and get a movie or two and get in our pj's and have fun! It's cozy, you know.

What is your favorite T.V. show? Hmmm...this is tough. I'm gonna change it to what do I DVR regularly...Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Project Runway, Dancing with the Stars and rerun episodes of Friends, which by the way, I hadn't watched rerun episodes of Friends for a while and I decided to DVR them just recently and can I say that no matter how many times I have seen the episode I still Crack UP! Seriously, the best show ever hands down!

What do you usually have for breakfast? About 6 sips of coffee...I never finish it! My friends laugh at me because I will never say no to coffee, but I rarely finish a cup. So my husband will pour me 1/2 a cup which iritates me though becuase just cause I don't drink the whole thing doesn't mean I don't deserve a whole cup! Anyways, I don't drink a whole cup in the morning because I am the type that likes to sit and enjoy my cup of coffee but with two kids, there's not much sitting time. And Eggs. I eat eggs almost every morning.
What food do you dislike? Weird food...and spicy food...and not a fan of seafood.

What is your favorite CD at the moment? Um...the radio?
Favorite Clothing? Anything pretty that I feel good in.

If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? All I need is a beach, an Instyle or Glamour mag, a fruity drink and some SPF and I am one happy girl!
Are you an organized person? I try to be but fail at it continuously! I have to really make an effort at it and its not easy.

Where would you like to retire? In a nice big home on some land close to my kids so that they can come and visit and bring all the grandchildren over for loads of fun! Or on a beach!

What was your most recent memorable birthday? I have been able to spend my birthdays with friends and family that I love and they have all been great!

When is your BIRTHDAY? October 25th.
What are you going to do when you finish this? Clean my house.

Are you a morning person or a night person? Night person! I get energy at night! But I wish I was a morning person because when I make myself be one I am able to do so much and have such a good morning. So, I'm trying to change it around!

Any exciting news you'd like to share that is great? My sweet baby girl is saying so many words! It's so fun! She says juce and chews (shoes) and ow! And she now says Daddy, but it sounds more like deddi! Super exciting.

What did you want to be when you were little? A mommy

What was the last thing you ate? Chick fil a sweet tea...that is a food group!

Last person you spoke to on the phone? My mom! She rocks!

Favorite soft drink? Sweet tea! That counts right?

Hair color? Dark Brown, but I change it often.
Summer or winter? Summer! I am ready (except for those 20 lbs I mentioned earlier). It gets hot down here in the South...but let me tell you...we have had a long winter and I am so over it. In August I am ready for winter but after two weeks of cold, and too many clothes I am ready for Summer!

Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate!

Coffee or tea? Coffee!
When was the last time you cried? Literally a few seconds ago!
What is under your bed? Flip flops!
What did you do last night? Watched TV with my husband instead of working!

Best quality you have? Uh...? No idea!

How many years at your current job? Mommy for 4 years!
Favorite day of the week? Saturday!

Positive or negative? Positive! Jesus is my Lord and Saviour and I have life overflowing and abundant!

Ok that's it! Aren't you glad you know more about me now! Have a great week! Love....

My Dearest Sammy

2010-03-10T15:25:00.000-06:00

My Dearest Sammy,Today you turn 4 years old. For four years you have filled our home with laughter and fun. You are my little crazy kid.

4 years ago today I waited for you to finally enter my life. Just as your name sake, “She named him Samuel, saying, ‘Because I asked the LORD for him.’” 1 Samuel 2:20

We waited patiently. You did not want to come out. We now know that you like doing things on your time! By the end of that long day I told the doctor to just go in and get you!

I can see your sweet face even now. You were perfect. When they took you out you screamed! You were so mad!

Despite the bright lights of the operating room you were determined to open your eyes. You wanted to see what this world was all about. You weren’t afraid of anything; you were ready to take it on. And when you did start crying again, they quickly brought you over to me and when I started speaking you stopped crying. You heard my voice and calmed down…you knew my voice, you knew it in the womb. That moment was one of the most precious moments of my life. I was a mama. From a little girl that is what I had always wanted to be and you gave me that gift.

Sammy from the first day you were pure joy. You were a fighter, you were stubborn, you were laughter, and you were constant.

You liked having your way. You wanted to be held as much as possible and you put up the biggest fight when you didn’t get your way. You were a little clock. A textbook baby doing everything you were suppose to the week you were suppose to. You babbled so much, a talker from the beginning, just like your daddy!

You were a good baby and that gave me the confidence to be a good mama. You smiled and laughed early on! It was glorious. Pure heaven. It still is.

And now 4 years have passed. How can that be?

Not much has changed. You are still a fighter. You fight for what you want and many times you get your way! Though now you may be fighting for one more minute to play or one more cookie…my prayer is that you will grow and fight for what is right, true, honest and just. You will fight for your family. You will fight for the calling God has on your life.

You are still stubborn. So many days I lose my patience and I am sorry for that my love, but in all honesty I am so glad you have a strong will. As your daddy and I try to discipline you and train you, our prayer is that your strong will, will grow and mature. Because of your strong will, you will be above the rest. You will not cower with the crowd, but will do what you believe is right and good. That you will not be led, but you will lead others.

You still make us laugh with all your fun sayings! You’re newest saying…whenever you are explaining something you say “it’s because I’m human…” You like donuts because you are human! So fun!

I love how you are with your sister. My love, you are so wonderful with her. You are patient and kind and you love her so. And she adores you. I love that she likes to sit in your lap just like she sits in daddy’s lap. And that she imitates everything you say and do. I pray that she will always look to you and that you will be friends more than brother and sister.

You are growing so fast my sweet boy and it hurts my heart. Selfishly I would love for you to s
tay 4 forever. But I am so excited to see how you will grow and what this next year will bring for you.

I am excited about all the things you will learn, the friends you will make and the plans God has for you. He has great plans for you sweet boy. They are gonna be awesome and I am so excited to be a part of your life.

Thank you for making me your mama. I love you more everyday.

“And the boy Samuel continued to grow in stature and in favor with the LORD and with men.” 1 Samuel 2:26

Cast out imagination!

2010-03-03T20:31:00.003-06:00

I have been busy preparing for a women's retreat coming up this weekend, plus planning birthday parties for our crazy march! Nonetheless, I missed a week of blogging...oops!

I've been sick. The kids got sick. Yuckiness has been going around but...God is Good! He protects and saves and Oh how he loves us!

I had a bit of a freak out moment last week.

A moment which brought fear and imagination.

I hate those moments.

You know there are times when I think I have come so far. Where I think, "Look at me God, I have this fear thing under control...I have broken those chains. I am good. "

"I" am none of those things! The God in me can do all things, but lil' ol' me needs HIM to help me fight those fears!

So last week I was putting the kids to bed and I got this massive headache. All of a sudden. Super pain. My neck was hurting and my head was almost tender to the touch. But it wasn't like a tension headache or "if this kid doesnt stop yelling I am going to throw something at him" kind of headache.

It was different.

So I was sorta massaging my neck when I feel it.

This bump.

Small, but not so small. Tender, no, painful to to the touch. Right behind my ear.

Fear gripped me.

I felt the other side and nope, there was definitely something uneven on my head.

My dad came over to watch my kids the next afternoon.

My dad is my doctor, he is my go to for all medical advice and it is a blessing to have him on call all the time! He's very smart and a good surgeon and I trust him. But the problem is I can read him pretty well. And there is a big difference between my father the hero and my father the doctor.

My father the hero; he's sweet and kind and fun loving and sometimes a goofball.
My father the doctor is medical jargon, chart reading, advice giving, and serious.

When I asked my dad about this thing on my head...and when he took a look at it and examined it...he quickly became my father the doctor.

He started asking me what my symptoms were and all kinds of mediciny questions.

FREAK OUT!

Of course he quickly turned back into my father, the hero and said it was probably nothing, just a swollen lymph node, no big deal.

But my imagination...my struggle with fear...yeah, it took over.

That bump. Yeah it was a swollen lymph node, just like my father the doctor had said. And yeah, I have been sick the last few days and my body was probably doing what it was suppose to do to fight out whatever disease was in me.

The bump is almost gone. It no longer hurts.

And I was so mad at myself. Because, I seriously had a mini meltdown. Everything bad and imaginable came into my head. And I tried to fight it, but not the way I know how...not the way God had been teaching me how.

Instead of praying over myself, confessing truths, I cowered in fear.

I even googled!

Feeding my fear instead of feeding my faith.

I have come so far, but I still have so much to grow.

"Father I thank you for a dad who has taught me what great faith is despite his medicine knowledge. I thank you for a mother who pulls me out of my imagination and reassures my faith. Forgive me for my doubt Lord. For my fear. For my lack of trust that you keep me in the palm of your hand. Continue to test my faith so that I will grow and be able to show my children who you are and who I am in you. To show them the power of faith. In your precious name, Amen."

Beautiful Crazy March....

2010-02-18T10:42:00.002-06:00

Our busiest season is soon upon us....March!

March is the month of my church's annual women's retreat...which is AWESOME! This will be my third year attending and I look back at the few years where I didn't go for whatever reasons and it makes me sad! Which is funny because at the time I didn't know what I was missing, but now it is mandatory for me. A weekend with some of my closest friends, mentors, beautiful, amazing women who I aspire to...knowing that my kids are with my husband and having a great time eating who knows what and doing who knows what! So fun.

Then of course comes my Son's birthday. We celebrate birthday weeks and so it will be a fun filled week of celebration. It's nostalgic and sad for me too. He will be turning 4 this year and it makes me sad. He is so big and articulate. The expressions he has and all he is learning....is it possible that only 4 years ago I could hold that precious boy in one arm and now I have to use all my strength to carry him!

We have lots of plans including fun at pump it up, birthday snack at school and of course his party at Chuck E Cheese.

And then my husband has a birthday a week later...His 30th! I am planning a big party to celebrate with all our family and friends. It's a cuban festival...with a roasted pig, black beans and rice, and all the works! I just have to figure out a gift.

Anyways, busyness surrounds March but hopefully april won't be so crazy! It sure is a beautiful life though!

There's nothing my God can not do...

2010-02-08T11:32:00.004-06:00

On Friday I was reminded of a song from my old sunday school days..."My God is so Big, so Strong and so Mighty, there's nothing my God can not do!"

Friday was the end all, hightened day of emotions. On that day, February 5, 2010 our lives changed by the mighty hand of God.

The God who put the stars in the sky, who knows every hair on our head, who speaks and it is...Well God spoke. He moved.

He had this planned all along and we were just waiting for his perfect timing and plan.

For about a year we have been waiting for something more. For the desires of our hearts.

My husband is a good man. He loves the Lord. He is a man of integrity and a hard worker. He has walked in favor in his career from the begining. God has always taken care of us through his career.

When he moved into a manager position, we sat on a friends couch and prayed that God would open doors for a job in our community.

And God moved. He moved the current manager to a better job and moved my husband to a promotion and job only 5 minutes from home. With a new baby at home, it was a precious few years.

And He has continued to promote him...but the last year we were stuck. Promotion meant moving.

Moving from a home we loved. Moving from the love of family. Moving from the support and dear friendships of an amazing church family.

We didn't want that. We didn't want to more our family and a new baby. We didn't want to move away from our family and our church.

But, "Lord if you want us to go because you have something better, we'll go."

2 Positions were offered. God said don't go, so we waited.

I was relieved. But it left my husband tired, discouraged, discontent and frustrated.

By the end of the year his position changed. Because of mergers and economic pressures, he was given a "promotion" with more work, more traveling and no incentives.

It was bleak. He was struggling.

But God moved.

He came through with an opportunity that we had been praying and hoping for.

An opportunity that was on a completely different road. Unlike anything he has ever done.

But it's good.

It's full of promise and potential.

It keeps us home. Our desire is to not move around chasing more or what seems better. We want a stable home where our kids can grow up and have the same friends, family close by to help and love them and a church family to do the same.

God always comes through. And I am always blown away and in awe. But I will never forget. He does hear our cries. He does listend and he holds us when everything looks bleak. And he says, "Wait for it Beloved, I have so much in store for you."

He knows every detail. He knows our fears and desires. And all we have to do is wait. It't hard and it hurts sometimes. I like a plan. I like knowing. But when all I know is that he began a good work and is FAITHFUL to complete it...that's enough of a plan for me.

What are you waiting for? Don't worry. He is working on it...and it is going to be so much better that what you could have ever planned!

"Father, thank you so much for this past year. It was difficult and tiring and hard. To see my man struggle and worry was heartbreaking. But you, dear Lord, you were working just you promised. What you had was better than we ever thought possible. The world may think it's crazy, but it is so good. It's perfect. Thank you for always taking care of us and forgive us when we forget who you are and what you are capable of. In your precious name, Amen."

My Girl

2010-02-03T20:05:00.008-06:00

So, I decided that I am gonna take some time and brag a bit on my baby girl because I can. I try not to talk about my kids too much to other people. First, because I think they are the greatest kids in the world, not to mention cutest kids, so I don't want others to feel bad. And I don't want to be one of those people who are always talking about what thier kid did that was so adorable. I mean, I love kids, I always have, and I think most of them are really cute and I generally love hearing about thier antics, but sometimes it's like, "Ok, your kids a genius, let's move on!"

That sounds kinda mean, but you know what I mean.

Don't get me wrong, I talk about my kids and brag on them when I think I should. But my general audience includes their dad and grandparents.

Back to Baby girl. I talk about my boy a lot because, well he is all over the place and non stop talking. A production on legs! Baby girl, however, is more quiet, dainty and only has a few words in her vocabulary.

She's not yet walking though she is taking more independent steps each day.

She responds to praise and generally claps or says yay each time she does something well, like puts the shape in the correct hole. She also looks for me to respond when she does this.

She is more cautious and careful. She carefully sits...carefully places her hands to lift herself and she doesn't like to be left alone in a room. When others talk to her she gives a half smile and hides her head against me or moves toward me. It takes her a moment to warm up to others.

She give's "besitos" or kisses by pursing her lips together, leaning in and saying, "muah!" It's awesome!

She loves her dolls. She holds them and rocks them and sings to them.

She loves to sing. She hums herself to sleep. "Mmmm,mmmm,mmmm."

She loves looking at books. Her first word, other than mamma and dada, was look, or that is "uk." She points to things and says, "uk,uk!"

She likes to color (though she must be watched because the crayons will go into her mouth!) She likes to dance. When music comes on she sits and swings her arms from side to side.

She's super ticklish. She puts mommy's bracelets on her arm and shows them to me in such a sassy way. She loves her daddy. Whenever daddy sits on the floor to play she immediately comes over and sits in his lap. And if she's tired, she goes to his lap, puts her thumb in her mouth and lays across his lap. It is the most precious thing ever!

She says mama like 100 times a day. She sort of sings it and when I respond or look at her she just smiles and keeps saying it!

She loves Dinosaur train on PBS! It's hilarious. She stops whatever she is doing and goes to the TV when it comes on. She loves the song and during the end of the theme song when the dinosaur roars, she is roaring along on perfect cue!

For a while her brother would go around sining, "La la loo" just like Don on the show and now she is constantly singing, "La la hoo!" The funny thing is, on the hoo, she sucks in her breath!

She loves her brother. When he is crying she goes to him and pats him. He will now go and lay on her lap and she pats his back. They love to play on mom and dad's bed. And each constantly vie for our attention, but they don't mind each other at all. The only rule, if brother has a snack, she needs one too.

She is my sweetheart and I love every moment I have with my girl.

"Father, thank you for my precious girl. How she has grown. But I love this time of exploration and newness. Every day is a new adventure and a new lesson learned. She is like me in so many ways. Just like You said she would be. But God, I want her to be more. I want her to be more like You, not me. I want her to be brave and strong, but sweet and pure. To be loyal and good, but steadfast and true to who she is. I know you are doing a good work in her already. Thank you for my children. My joys every morning. Keep them in your hand and protect them. In your precious name. Amen."

What's in a Scripture?

2010-02-01T14:27:00.007-06:00

It's been a long time...but I have missed blogging. Life jut got busy.

Crazy busy.

With two kids, holidays and mostly with my new business venture www.bellaboodesigns.shutterfly.com.

Nonetheless this being the first of February I have a new month resolution! Not really, I just am committing to blog again because I love it, I miss it and I need it! I have decided to committ to posting at least twice a week and enjoy it, rather than make it a chore. So, there you are!

And so, for my first post of the year....

I have been convicted of late to add some different, more meaningful decor to my home. Decor that doesn't just say:

"Welcome, we are people who love earth tones, bright colors and crosses."

That's what we have in our home right now. Our walls are bright earth tone colors...red, yellow with lots of green and brown accents. And we have crosses. Various sizes, about 5 in the main areas of the house.

But that's it. And I as I said, I have been convicted.

Crosses are great. But I think I need more than a cross to say who we are. I need more than a cross to remind me of who I am. I need more than a cross to teach my children who we are.

So...I am on the look out for scriptures to cover our walls.

Scriptures that will remind us of how great our God is, what He does for us and who we are in Him. My hope is that my children will be reminded of these verses when they need to be because they saw them every day. That they will be stirred by the one in their room when they wake each morning. That they will know who God is and who they are in Him when they read them. That they will be reminded of home when they come across them in thier daily lives.

This is what I have so far.

Living room, above our TV - "Be still and know I am God." Ps. 46:10 - This is where we do most of our living and what better place to be reminded of who He is than the place where life happens most.

Master Bedroom - "Come, let us take our fill of Love until the Morning." Prov. 7:17-18. ...I don't think I have to explain that one...

Kitchen - "Whoever is of merry heart has a continual feast." Prov. 15:15...Where we eat and unload our day to each other. Perfect, I think!

Crazy Boy's room: "And the boy continued to grow in stature and in favor with the LORD and with men." 1 Samuel 2:26 - This is the scripture I have prayed over him since we chose his name. What greater blessing to have than favor!

And finally, Baby girl...Now this is where I am stumped! I have prayed so many prayers over her but I can't seem to find "the one." The one that fits her spirit, who I want her to be or that will direct her.

So, my goal for the week is to find that special verse for my sweet girl.

And to find a way to make these/purchase these on a budget!

So, does your home reflect the truths you believe? I challenge you to think of ways to really bless your home and all who enter it!

I'll let you know what else I come up with and what I make later!

Need a Reminder.

2009-08-04T07:57:00.004-05:00

I am a believer. One who seeks and follows Christ daily.
Well, almost daily.

But you see, despite the fact that I have loved my Lord almost my entire life I still, sometimes, have trouble with certain issues.

Sometimes I tend to doubt. I tend to not trust "with all my heart."

And you know what the worst thing about that is...I can tell you stories of time and time again when the Lord came through.

I mean...HE CAME THROUGH! Flying colors and all. Almost showing off.

Shock. Wow. HOW??

Yet, he always comes through.

Now it's not always in my timing, but usually better.

But I am one of those who forgets all those times he has come through. Or, maybe I just need to constantly remind myself. Because as soon as things are starting to look a little dim, I worry adn fret and doubt.

But I shouldn't because, My God has done so much.

My God gave me the best job out of college, 20 minutes from our home that was being built, 3 weeks before school started. I applied to almost every district in the city and he managed to work it all out.

My God provided my husband with a management job months before our first baby and get this...literally 5 minutes away from home. That first year or so he was able to come home for lunch, go to doctor appointments, etc.

My God gave me two beautiful, healthy children. I asked for one to be like his dad...and boy is he! And the other, despite a difficult pregnancy, fear and uncertainty, he gave me a beautiful, sweet baby girl with bright blue eyes and a precious smile who is a momma's girl.

Yesterday, I started doubting...I was having a hard time trusting. I was praying and asking for an answer.

You know, a bright light shining upon me, a voice from above...anything clear like that!

Nothing.

So, I openedd my bible and flipped around. I ended up in Ephesians. At a verse that we use so often we almost get desensitised to its power and greatness. And, well I needed to be reminded.

"I pray that you may have power, toghether with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasureabky more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him he the glory..."

Ephesians 3:18-20

More than I can ask or imagine...

"Father, I am believing that you are gonna leave us with our mouths wide open in awe. I am beliving that you have a great plan, you have all the details worked out and we are just waiting on your perfect timing. Help me remember to trust you. To wait on you. And strengthen me each day. And, father, no matter what the answer, I know that you are good and your love endures forever. In your precious name, Amen."

15 Minute Break

2009-07-29T11:31:00.004-05:00

I am taking a break from cleaning my kitchen. Again.

I talked about how my kitchen despises me here. And once again it is mocking me.

So...here is my works for me Wednesday tip.

15 minute interludes.

Whenever I have a big cleaning project, I set my timer for 15 minutes and tackle whatever it is I am doing. Like loading and unloading the dishwasher, for example.

So for 15 minutes I clean like mad. Put away, pick up, swish, swirl, etc. and when my timer goes off I stop. Then I take 15 minutes and I will check my email, facebook, etsy, or play a game with my kids, feed them, whatever needs to be done other than cleaning.

It seems to work and I don't feel like I have been cleaning all day or get overwhelmed or overloaded. I have the personality where if I see a project and it seems way too big I just won't go there. So this way I just divide and conquer, basically.

Another tip along with the divide and conquer idea, is to split the area that needs to be cleaned in parts. So, back to the kitchen, I will make the sink one section. The countertops another, etc. And I focus on one section at a time.

Ok, so I have been posting for about 5 minutes and now beautiful baby is up from her nap so my 15 minutes will probably be up before I come down with her! It doesn't work all the time, but it has I would say 75% workability! Off to having a FABULOSO house!

For more things that work, click here.

LOOK...one Hand!

2009-07-27T17:11:00.004-05:00

When you become a mom you are endowed with different powers. Gifts and talents that were not needed before but which you could not live without now.

Not only are we given the spiritual gifts like the gift of interpretation where only we know what this means... "Mama i wan knee stabies peas wi awjus."

Translation: "Mama I want to eat strawberries please with orange juice."

And I am definitely praying for the gift of knowledge and discernment to kick into high gear once these kiddos are entering the teen years.

On a side note, my mother was amazingly gifted in discernment, no kidding! She would walk into the house, take one look at me and say, "Where were you and what have you been doing?" it gives me chills just thinking about it. I HATED it then...but boy do I want what she's got!

And then of course you have the "eyes in the back of your head" power and "one hand."

One hand power kicks in as soon as you bring a newborn home. It comes in the IV, I believe.

I can cook with one hand.
I can eat with one hand.
I can feed myself, my toddler and my infant with one hand! Ha, beat that!
I can check facebook, hotmail and crazy blog with one hand.
I can flip a pancake with one hand.
I can crack an egg with one hand.
I can fold underware with one hand.
I can put makeup on with one hand AND look good!
Vacuum, sweet, dust.
I'm writing this post as we speak...you guessed it, with ONE hand!

The list goes on.

Now if only I could make time to take a shower or workout. I do have the power to hold my bladder for hours at a time, but if anyone has the power to pee without having an audience around, THAT is the one I desire most! For more tackles, click here.

"Lord thank you that you are all powerful! That you have truly given me the abilities and the wisdom that I need to raise my kids, have a loving home and be a good wife and mother. All I ask is that you continue to bless me each day with what I need for that day and that I will learn from my mistakes and grow more in you daily. In your precious name, Amen."

Mother of 4...don't think so!

2009-07-20T20:49:00.004-05:00

You know that convesation you have with your beloved...the conversation that starts..."So...we done yet?" Are we done having kids, that is.

Well, that conversation has been brought up here and there the last few.

After baby girl was born lots of people asked, "So when are you gonna have another one?" Or, "are you ready for a third?"

Are you FREAKIN' kidding me! Seriously...asking a mother of a newborn those questions is just not that bright.

I mean...can we get a few hours of uniterrupted sleep first before we jump on that wagon. Or I don't know...let's see what life is like when toddler and baby are both mobile! Yeah...let's cross that realm first!

Nonetheless, God in his great wisdom and grace made that newborn phase shortlived. As I have said before here, baby girl is in that very easy to manage stage. She sits pretty, isn't mobile (and I am secretly hoping she won't be for a while) and is all smiles and pretty predictable. She cries when she is hungry, dirty or bored. Piece of cake.

So you see how God tricks ya...I mean here you are thinking, "I got this!" HA! How we easily forget!

And then before you know it you find yourself thinking, "should we have anotherbaby?"

Husband says no. He is pretty sure he is done. He is happy with two. His reason being that with only two no one ever has to ride alone on a rollercoaster.

Yeah, brilliant, I know.

I really don't know. Still on the fence. All I know is that I don't want to regret anything.

This week my neice and nephew are staying with us as their parents travel to get thier adopted #3, Ava Berhenesh, from Ethiopia.

So I am getting a taste of what more kids would be like. And let's just say...I'm tired.

"Precious Lord, thank you for my beautiful kids and for my neice and nephew who are sweet and so good with my kids and so much help. Lord, I don't know if I want anymore kids. What do you think? Is our family complete? Lord help me know your will and be without doubts. Thank you that you always take care of every detail and know the plans you have for us all. In your precious name, Amen."

Mommy Heaven

2009-07-12T20:32:00.011-05:00

I just came down from putting sweet boy to bed. I sat in his rocking chair to read him a book, which I don't usually do; usually I sit on his bed with him and read but not tonight.

When I sat down, he looked at me and grinned and said, "Mommy, can I sit down with you in your lap?" I replied, "Of course." He came over and hunkered down. We read the book and I held him like I use to.

Once we were done reading he turned toward me and said, "Mommy can you hold me."
"Like I use to when you were a baby?" I asked.
"Yeah," he replied very excited like. "Wait, let me get my puppy and my bie." He jumped on his bed and got his loveys and tossed them over to me. I placed bie across my chest and he straddled his little legs around me and hugged me, with his face in the crook of my neck.

We were quiet for a minute...perhaps both enjoying the nostalgic moment; remembering the days when he fit perfectly against my chest and I would hold and rock him till he was asleep.

He broke my thoughts and pushed against me to look at me and said, "Mommy, I love this."
"I love this too. We should do this more often."
"Yeah. I love it too."

I began to sing him a song that I use to sing to him...

"Baby mine, don't you cry. Baby mine, dry your eyes..."

"Mommy what are you singing?"
"I use to sing this to you when you were a baby."
"I'm not a baby anymore. Don't sing that. Sing twinkle, twinkle little star. No, I sing it first...

"tinkle, tinkle, wittle staa, how I know you where you are. Up, up up up up up up up so high, wike a dymon in da sky. tinkle, tinkle, wittle sta, how I know you where you are."

Ok, your turn mom."

"Oh Father, I was in mommy heaven for a moment today. I look at my kids and think, how did time go so fast. It's not fair. He use to be so small and now he can do so much. I know I taught him to be independent and we at times push him to be a big boy, but I miss my baby. Even baby girl is getting so big. So Lord, if you can keep them little just like this, I would greatly appreciate it! But if not, let's have more moments like these. A lot of them. In your precious name, Amen."

The Wonderful and Woeful of mommyhood...

2009-07-08T21:14:00.003-05:00

I know, I know...it's been two months...I'm sorry but life is...life. Busy, crazy...which by the way, it is harder to have a life of ones own when you have two other little lives to care after. I mean, with crazy kid we were at the point where we had a good schedule, I could get stuff done, play with him, teach him stuff, feed him and then even have a few hours to myself for whatever I needed to do.

Now, I feel as if I don't sit down.

In fact, today I didn't eat lunch until 2:30. And the need to pee came around 4 this afternoon and I still haven't made it to the potty yet. Thank goodness for a bladder of steel and that after two babies!

But seriously, I am constantly on the go. Cleaning, laundry, feeding, putting to bed, etc. The glorious thing is that I have two amazing kids. Crazy boy is obedient, when he wants to be, and baby girl is a piece of cake, except when she isn't. So...maybe I am the one with the problem, but either way, that is the season we are in now.

So what has been going on...lots.

This past week I experienced one of the joys of mommyhood. One of those wonderful, beautiful, never ever forget things happened.

Baby girl said her first word. And not just any word.

"Mama!"

And she said it like she has been saying it all along. It just trickles out of her mouth. "Mama mama ma" all gurgly like and sweet.

It was the greatest thing ever.

And it's even better when she rolls over in her bed after she wakes up from a nap and I can see her in her baby monitor and she just starts saying, "mama mama..." Pure joy!

And can I say, I deserve it! I mean...she is a momma's girl, for now anyways. We are so comfortable together. She is happy when in my arms, she can sleep cuddled close to me no matter where we are...we are two peas.

But I was afraid of those first words. I mean, crazy kid and I were cool together too. I thought he was a momma boy, but the day of truth came when he uttered, "dada" before momma.

What kind of justice is that.

I mean, I am the one who bathes, cleans, feeds, burps, changes, over and over and over again.

And what do they do...call out for "dada."

But not my girl! She understands the connection...the sacrifice.

Of course...I have had to become a mean mommy to my girl recently. Despite the beautiful words.

Happy day! Baby girl got her first tooth back in May. Then the second tooth came out a few weeks after. Pretty fast! And then...it happened.

Brace yourself...I got bit.

And I'm not talking a little nibble. I'm talking full on, gnawing!

Ok, go ahead and take a minute to do that full body shiver...

Yeah.

Let me tell you...now we know why we say the phrase, "It hurt like a mother..." because only mothers feel pain like this.

And only mothers will continue to put themselves in harms way for the sake of their children. Time and time again...childbirth, breastfeeding, etc.

Back to the bite. So...there I was feeding my precious child. Looking into her beautiful blue eyes. The oxcytocin is flowing or whatever that chemical is that flows and makes you happy and connected...when all of a sudden...two sharp, never been used, finely chiseld teeth clamp down.

Screaming occurs.

And get this...she laughs. Laughs!

So what did I do...I flicked her sweet, perfect little cheeck and said, "No, we don't bite!" As if the child has any idea what I am talking about. She then starts to scream. Daddy comes in and rescues her.

I am bleeding.

I tend to my wound and with great sacrifice and courage I take her back in my arms.

I begin to feed her again from the other side, of course.

Let me tell you, for 4 days, I felt like I was going to pass out everytime I fed her. 4 DAYS!

She hadn't bit since. I thought maybe she had learned her lesson.

Last week...she got top teeth. Teeth created for biting. For cutting into apples and meat.

Yesterday...I was bit 3 times!

I yelled, flicked her, she cried...

But that last time, I'm not kidding, she seriously looked at me with a knowing look and softly bit down as if she was asking..."are you flipping out when I do this?" Well, she hasn't bit me since.

So...everytime I feed her I am watching her and praying for numbness...just in case.

"Father I love being a mommy. I love this stage of infancy. When they are babbling and vying for your attention. Thank you for making me a mommy. Thank you for the joy that this baby girl is. Thank you that she said "momma" first. I know it is dumb, but I find such reassurance that she knows my name and calls for me. Lord there is nothing greater than to be called momma. Help me to treasure all of these moments...even if they hurt! In your precious name, Amen. "

I don't wanna clean it AGAIN!!!

2009-05-08T13:51:00.005-05:00

It does not like me.

It is gross.

It is vicious.

It mocks me.

My kitchen in glaring at me right now. A dirty kitchen makes your whole house dirty.

There are dishes piled up. Jelly on the countertop. Mail on the kitchen table. Crumbs on the floor. unidentified sticky. Clean dishes that need to be unloaded.

Two days ago this kitchen was spotless.

Why is it so hard to keep it that way? I don't want to clean it AGAIN!

Now I have to deal with this...

Ok...I better go and tackle the monster. If we didn't eat all the time I wouldn't have to deal with this...and I would be a lot smaller. Hmmm...something to think about.

He Knows

2009-05-05T14:35:00.007-05:00

A few weeks ago a friend shared on her blog a passage from the Living Proof Ministries blog (LPM) or Beth Moore's blog, and what Beth had to say encouraged me so much and gave me strength to keep going and keep fighting for whatever God has in store for my life.

And this afternoon after I put my kids to take their nap I came to check my email and had to go back to that blog of Beth's.

A dear friend has been diagnosed with Lymphoma and my heart aches. I'm in shock and I can't even imagine what he must be feeling now.

So...for all my friends who need this encouragement, please say a prayer for my friend and read on...and remember God knows and is greater than everything this world can throw at us.

"God has healed all of us of many things but, in His great purposes, we can only grab the hem. Even a miracle of instant restoration from a terminal disease is still just a hem of healing.

One day we will trade the hem for the real Him. No more pressing through the crowd wondering if we're going to be among the few that see that kind of miracle. We will see Him. Jesus Christ, the risen King. We won't just touch the edge of His cloak. We will touch the God-man Himself in His spectacular immortal body but, significantly, one still bearing the scars of His visitation here. His wholeness is so utterly complete and infinitely perfect that we, upon the very sight of Him, will be made whole as well.

This, Beloved, is what we live for. Not for just another day here. But for that very day there.

Several months ago, Melissa had insisted upon going with me to have a dye test to follow up a suspicious mammogram. (No rumors please. I do not have breast cancer. Because my mother died with it, however, I never get the luxury of drama-less annual check-ups.) We were sitting in the waiting room and a rack was within arms reach offering all manner of brochure on various cancers. Melissa took one out after another and glanced over them, shaking her head. She looked up at me with that classic expression of hers and said, "Life is brutal, man."

I nodded.

We both sat silently for just a moment.

Then she said one of the most profound things I've ever heard.

"He knows it's scary to be us.

"Yes, He does. Yes, He does. He does NOT take the fact lightly that we go through medical tests to see if we have a raging cancer. He does NOT take lightly that some of you are secretly fearing that the monster has come back. He does NOT take lightly that some of you are going through the cancer treatments of your own children. I had to pause and put my hand over my mouth on that one. Holding back the tears.

Son of David, have mercy on us! You know it's scary to be us! It's almost too much here, Lord. It's almost too much.

And the thunder crashes in the heavens and the earth grows dark in the middle of the afternoon and a man, beaten to a bloody pulp, cries from a cross between two thieves, "It is finished!"

And death is overcome.

One day, Sweet Darling. ONE DAY. We will trade that hem for the real Him and there will be no more sickness. No more death. No more sadness. We will all be healed.

Bliss.

Bliss."

Beth Moore, LPM - April 10, 2009

Back in the day...

2009-05-04T20:28:00.003-05:00

My husband was sick with what began with allergies and ended with fever. I insisted that he stay in bed most of the day, which we all know is rather difficult because when you have a three year old who LOVES his daddy, all he wants to do is play with him. So, we were glad Daddy stayed home from work today, we got a little extra time with him, his fever didn't return and he got the rest he needed.

As I was lying in bed last night after feeding baby girl her last feed of the day I realized how tired I was. And I looked over at my husband who wasn't feeling much better and said, "I'm so jealous of you right now."

"What?" he replied.
"I wish I could lie in bed all day and watch TV and do little else."
"Yeah, that's all good except that I am sick."
"Yeah, AND on top of it all, you get to take nyquil to help you sleep at night...SOOO jealous."
"Your crazy."

And then I got to thinking...when was the last time I was able to stay in bed for hours at a time with no responsibilities, no worries, nowhere to go, etc?

College.

I clearly remember saturdays like that.

I remember many occasions of staying in my pj's all day, sleeping till noon, then maybe grabbing a book and staying in bed until someone came by or called and was like, "Hey, lets go to common grounds (the local coffee house)." And then we would go get a yummy Iced white chocolate mocha with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles and then head back and watch a movie or hang out.

Yup. That's the last time I did anything like that.

So...I'm thinking that for mother's day that's what I want...a day of doing NOTHING. NADA!

A day I can sleep as long as I want without having to make, do, clean, pick up, put away or worry about anything. And when I do wake up I can pick up a good book and read with no interruptions, no "mommy can you," or "baby will you," or "WAAA...feed me!" and drink coffee in one long sitting without having to put it in the microwave because I forgot about it because I had to make, do, clean, pick up, put away or worry about whatever.

Yeah...I know this isn't gonna happen but maybe if I'm lucky I can get an hour of this. The funny thing is...this all may sound real good...but I kinda like being needed. Being mommy. Oh well...

"Father, thank you for making me a mommy. It is the hardest, sweetest, most rewarding blessing ever. I know there are days when I am tired. There are days when I feel like my head is spinning and there are moments when I do want to lie in bed all day and not be "mom" but...I know this season of being mommy is fleeting. Before I know it my kids won't need me for everything...they will be able to bathe and clothe and feed themselves. Remind me that this won't be forever, but...let me always be needed. In your precious name, Amen."

A little bit of DIRT...

2009-05-03T20:23:00.003-05:00

I was on double duty tonight since my Hubs has been sick.
I cooked dinner by ordering pizza. I worked out (while carrying baby girl!) and I got the kids bathed and ready for bed.

Baby girl just loves her bath and bathing with brother is a special treat. She kicks and squeals and laughs hysterically at him. So fun,

So, anyways, I bathed baby girl, bathed crazy kid and then left him in the tub to play while I lotioned up and dressed the baby.

I leave her in her room to play, while I go to get crazy...and I find him all scrathced up and red.

"Mommy it won't come off."
"What won't come off?"
"The dirt. I'm all dirty."
"Baby I already washed you."
"No mommy, I have dirt on me, see..." He says as he points to his tummy that as I mentioned before is all scraped and red. I strain to look past the scratches but don't see what he is talking about.
"Baby, you aren't dirty."
"Yes mom, I am. Right there." And then he points to a little bitty freckle.
I try hard not to laugh and say, "Baby that isn't dirt that is a freckle. The sun kissed you and left a spot."
"I don't want it, it's dirt. I don't like it."

Well,the "dirt" didn't come off, but he is the cutest kid!

And now to bed. Being mommy and daddy is exhausting!

"Dear father, thank you for moments like these that are so fun and precious. Thank you for reminding me how much help my husband is and how I blessed I am to have him as my helper. Thank you for healing! In your precious name, Amen."

His Plans

2009-05-01T13:15:00.006-05:00

It's amazing how God knows and interweaves every single detail of your life together in perfect timing. Looking back in my life I am always dumbfounded over the way God figured stuff out, made a path, closed doors, opened windows, and yes, even smacked me a little...but through it all, His hand on my life was always evident.

He has always taken care of me and placed me where I needed to be, doing what I was meant to be doing and preparing me for whatever was in store.

And he is still preparing me for whatever comes next. He is still molding me and challenging me and I am in awe over all that he has done thus far and I am sure that when I look back in the next few months or so I will again be dumbfounded.

I don't know what God's plan is thus far for my family, but I know that he is preparing me for whatever comes along the way.

After having baby girl I was on a reading frenzy. What else can you do while you are pumping away! In the begining when I was only getting like 5 hours of sleep in a day I read fun reads. Reads where I didn't have to think much. And then I began reading more indepth, thoughtful reads.

And last month I opened a book that I have had in my library for years. In fact, I don't even remember when I got this book but I had never read it.

So I started reading...couldn't put it down. I was really moved by it and I connected with it...but little did I know that this book was God's way of preparing me for future events.

The book was about a Wife and mother who makes the change to another city, away from all that she loves and is familiar with, because her husband transfers for his career. The heroine struggles and is angry and resentful. But soon she see's that all was in God's plan because he brought her to that place for a reason and a purpose greater than her own plans and dreams.

This past month my husband and I have been discussing the idea of him transferring to another city. I have struggled with this. My heart aches over the idea. Fear transcends. Imagination takes over.

I have prayed and prayed over this. And I finally gave it to God and said, I trust you. You have never led us astray and you have always made your will clear in our lives. If we are to go it is beacuse that is what you desire...And wherever we go, you will be there with open arms ready to elevate us for your Glory.

So...I don't know if we are going anywhere...we are waiting on God. But I will obey...and I will trust...and I will be brave.

"Dear Father, thank you for clarity, for peace and for strength. Father thank you for creating me to be the strong and influencial woman, wife and mother that I am. I know I fail sometimes, and I know there are moments when I can't hide the tears or the fears, but I know that you are holding us. You know our fears and our pain, but You, my God, are in this place and any other place you lead us to. You will give us strength and you will always be glorified in our lives. In your precious name, Amen."

*Go Check it out...The Scarlet Thread - Francine Rivers

Bumble Bee Clean up...

2009-04-29T13:02:00.006-05:00

I'm sitting at my computer blogging instead of cleaning my house. It's rather messy but I will probably just end up doing a quick, what I call, "bumble bee" clean up before my husband comes home. You know what I'm talking about...ready...hear the music from flight of the bumblebee in your head...and GO!

Grab a trash bag, toss loose trash away, pick up everything off the floor and put it somewhere, anywhere, preferably not in a visible space (this is where junk drawers and "monica" closets come in handy), swish the toilet with pine sol (Thanks for the tip sweet friend, you know who you are), put the unfolded clothes back into the laundry room (take it out after hubs comes home as if you have been washing ALL DAY!), stuff the dishes of the day into the dishwasher,put away the OJ, AJ, Coffee from this morning, "Dadyy's coming home we have to clean up! Pick up your toys... pick up your toys," the baby is crying, gotta clean up with one hand, Praise baby always works and he'll walk into such a peaceful home! Gotta change shirts again so I don't smell like a mommy, wipe the faces, check the diaper, brush your hair add some lipgloss and mascara (yes I look this good all day long!)...is that the garage door, grab Mandarin Orange home spray (thank you Bath and body works) spray, spray, spray (one qucik spray on the dog)...and finally greet your husband with a kiss.

Reward: "Wow, the house smells great.

"Whew!"

"Father thank you for a husband that appreciates all that I do and all that he thinks I do! Thank you for giving me the chance to stay home with my kids and take care of my home. It is such a huge blessing, yet it is one I tend to complain about most. Our home is so wonderful and I need to remember that you have made me the manager and I need to make it a place of comfort and rest for my husband, a place of safety and wonder for my children and a place of love and warmth for my friends and family. Keep your angels around us always father, in you precious name, Amen."

So Big...

2009-04-28T13:33:00.002-05:00

"Ok buddy, the baby is asleep and now it's time for your nap," I said as I pulled his pull up on and tossed him 3 of the 12 stuffed animals that invade his bed each day.

"I don't wanna take a nap," he replied. This is the mantra of the hour.

"You have to take a nap so your body can rest and you can grow big and strong."

"I am big...see..." he says as he throws off his blanket, stands up on the bed and lifts his head as high as he can.

"You are very big, but if you want to be as big and strong as Daddy you have to take a nap."

I then begin to cover him oncemore, tucking him in and handing him puppy, who he immedeately nuzzles. His eyes are droopy and he is fighting the desire to sleep. He then looks at me and in a tired whisper says, " Mommy, I don't think so."

"You don't think what baby?"

"I don't think I wanna be big."

"Why not?" I reply.

"I just don't wanna be big, neber, neber."

He starts to close his heavy eyelids and I kiss his cheek and hug him and say, "I think that's a great idea. You don't have to be big if you don't want to."

"Ok mom."

I smile to myself as I softly shut his door, pick up a few toys in the playroom and go downstairs when halfway down the stairs I hear...

"MOOMMMY!!!"

I hear footsteps running and the door crack open.

"Mom," he calls out again as I come up the stairs.

"What baby?"

"I changed my mind. I do wanna be big."

I smile and reply, "Ok buddy, now go back to bed and stay there."

"Ok mom...but can you cober me 'cause I don't know how."

Oh Lord, I want my babies to stay small. I don't want them to get any bigger. I want him to be three forever. To be sweet and eager to learn and full of life and wonder. I want my baby girl to be a baby as long as possible. It goes too fast Lord. Stop it! Thank you for my blessings and for the time you have given me with them. And Father, cover my babies and our family because only you know how. In your precious name, Amen.

Strong and Courageous

2009-04-16T13:42:00.002-05:00

We have been on a losing front for a while now.

When crazy kid was born he was a sucker. If you are picturing a lollipop atop of his little body, that is not what I am talking about. He was a pacifier or what we call "tete" sucker. From the moment he came out he latched on to me with no problems whatsoever and due to much protest from his milk suppliers I gave him a tete and he went to town.

He loved it from day one. There was no confusion. His tete was his comfort.

It's been a long road. There were hours when one could not be located and I would pray, "Lord there has to be one around here somewhere, help me find it PLEASE!" A few car rides where we forgot it and the tears poured out. Nap time could not go without it.

After a while he preferred blue ones only, because apparently the green one just didn't cut it so we threw out all the various colors and kept only blue.

He would have one in his mouth, find another and test each, then decide which one was best. I don't know why. Maybe one still had peanut butter lingering on it or something. He would even make "mmmmm" sounds as he sucked away.

So, when he turned three we told him that the tete had to go away. And he cried, "I want it, I love it, please no!"

We tried to bargain with toys, candy, a horse...nothing.

So we kinda wimped out and gave in to his addiction. Besides we were going out of town and thought it would be best to let him keep it until after we returned.

But today was a fateful day. Today was the end all day. Today, fate intervened.

He has been down to one last tete (actually two but he doesn't know that). And for the last two weeks I have been telling him that this is his last one and if it breaks or gets lost there aren't anymore. We can't buy any because they only sell them to babies.

This morning he was upset and being rather disobedient. He wanted my attention and was rather upset. He had to go potty and he was standing over the toilet crying when PLOP...down drops the tete into the toilet.

Opportune moment.

"It is now gone. The toilet drank it. It has pee pee on it and is very yucky, we can't put that in our mouth anymore. You know that is your last one. I'm sorry bud, all the tetes are gone."

He was so sad. It BROKE my heart. He was genuinely grieving. Big tears pouring from his big brown eyes rolling down his syrup stained face.

He calls his dad and begins to tell him what happened and tears well up in his eyes and he can't get through it.

I hug and love on him and tell him it's ok that he needs to be brave and everything will be ok. Then I encourage him to talk to Jesus and tell him how he feels. He nuzzles into me and says, "Jesus I am so sad. I want my tete. Help me be brave."

He has been very brave all day.

"Father thank you for my sweet, precious boy. He is such a joy to me. God I am sad that this baby boy is getting so big. It hurts my heart to see that he really isn't a baby anymore, no matter how much I want him to be. He doesn't even have a baby tummy anymore God. Lord, thank you for allowing me to learn bravery from my boy. Thank you that he trusts you already and that he is learning to give it all to you knowing that you will give him courage and strength. Thank you father. In your precious name, Amen."

God with Us

2009-04-06T22:18:00.002-05:00

My pregnancy with baby girl was not one I would call pleasant.

My pregnancy was unfortunately filled with tears. I am convinced I had pre-post partum depression. I lived in sadness and guilt and my hormones had a great deal of control.

I had great guilt over the fact that I was not enjoying my pregnancy. With my first, I had an amazing pregnancy. I was happy, over the moon, joyful. It was easy and sweet. And I was very guilty over the fact that this pregnancy was not like the first.

And I never spoke this outloud until after the fact, but I was so afraid. I was terrified that something was going to go wrong. Everytime they checked for the heart beat, my own heart would stop. I found myself not able to breathe during those first few moments. Sonograms were anxiety filled. And before delivery I was shaking so much I barely got control.

I never spoke out my fear in fear that it would somehome become truth. I just fought the fear as best as I could.

And, one of the first things I said to my sweet baby girl when we were all alone in the hospital room was that I was sorry.

"I'm sorry Mommy cried so much. I'm sorry of the stress I gave you inside of me. I love you and wanted you so much. I'm sorry I was so sad."

I was blessed to give birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl. She is perfect, more than I ever imagined. She came out with a head full of light brown hair, which has streaks of red and gold which especially shines in the sun. And her eyes are still bright blue which match her sweet, sensitive, slightly pale skin.

I could never be more blessed or content.

And as we entered into this new life, both hers and mine, there were moments when the guilt still presides.

Baby girl is a little more sensitive than her brother. I would say she cries a little more than he did. And I know babies cry but the guilt says she cries more because I cried so much. And it wasn't until she began smiling and laughing that I began to believe differently.

With every smile and every gurgling laugh, the guilt is stripped away. And the fact that she coos and blow bubbles more than her brother ever did is even more rewarding.

I am amazed at what God has done through me because of this sweet child. He brought me through storm after storm. He held me and took care of me even when I in many ways turned my back on him and had no faith and no trust. And then he blessed me more than I deserved.

Emma means God with us...and I now see that he was with me.

"Father I am overwhelmed with love for you. I am so blessed. Thank you for the storms. Thank you for having patience with me and for standing by me and carrying me through them when I didn't think I could endure anything more. Thank you for your sweet reward that came in a precious bundle of pink."

March Madness...

2009-04-01T12:04:00.002-05:00

I was very excited yesterday.

Every month I take down the dry erase calendar from ou fridge, erase the activities from the previous month and jot down our life happenings for the new month. Apparently that is how scheduling works.

So, I erased March, wrote in April and all the days in the appropriate boxes, which is a challenge for me b/c I never learned that song about how many days are in each month. Plus, I've never been good with numbers at all so you have no idea how many times I am on day 22 and I realize I left out the 15th and have to go back and erase and start over.

So, as I said, I erased all of March and put in April, checked that all 30 days were there and filled in the events for the month and I am happy to report that only one weekend is full!

Can you believe it!

The month of April we have very little going on. Our weekends are free to do whatever we want (stay home, go to the mall, hang out with friends) the sky is the limit!

Now let me be clear...March was a great month, but March tends to be one of the busiest months of our year. Both Sammy and Orlando's birthdays are in March, one of us or both tend to travel in March, plus there is spring break in there and life is just crazy where it seems that everything is going at warp speed and we are just trying to get through one event to get to the other.

Sammy's birthday was at the begining of the month. It was a success despite the rain, but he and his pals had fun. Orlando's birthday unfortunately came and went. On his day he came down with the flu, which took him out of commission during spring break. He felt well enough to take Sam to the Rodeo, but was down a bit the next day for it. Fortunately, the rest of us didn't get sick. I only caught a head cold but we all recovered.

We just returned from San Francisco. Just Orlando and I. We had a wonderful time reconnecting and spending time as us and not as mommy and daddy. However, by the third day, we missed being mommy and daddy and were glad to be home.

Our kids missed us as well. In fact, crazy kid came to me yesterday and gave me a big hug and said, "Mommy I'm so glad you're home." Break the heart!

So this weekend I am off to a women's retreat for a day or so and after that...All plans are last minute! Woo hoo.

"Lord thank you for busy times. I enjoy having lots to do: packing and unpacking, planning and running errands. It is time consuming and tiring, but it is nice when everything comes together and I can look back and see that it all was worth it. And thank you for quiet times. When we can go and do and be whatever we want and not have to look at our calendar and figure out where things can fit in. Thank you for March. It is a month filled with blessings. You are always so good to us Lord, I am so greatful. In your precious name, Amem."

Supermom...

2009-03-08T21:11:00.004-05:00

My goodness time goes by so fast and before you know it...months have past before I have even written on this crazy blog o' mine.

The theme of my life right now is..hmmm...trust in God. Oh wait a minute...that's what he has been trying to teach me for about a year now. Well, actually my whole life!

As always life is never dull, crazy and as always beautiful. And very, very full!

I have so much going on yet so many days I have found that I can barely, no, I don't get out of the house much!

The clock revolves around playing with my will be 3 this week boy and feeding, burping, changing, sleeping almost 3 month old baby girl. Whoo! It's exhausting.

Not to mention my dear husband has been overwhelmed, stressed and busy. Work has been crazy and so while I am learning to balance everything at home, he is trying to balance everything at home and at work.

I do have one major problem though and it took over this past week.

I try to be supermom.

Superwife.

Supercook (and we know that one is rather difficult).

Superhomemaker.

Superfriend.

Superchristian.

And I am so far from each of those.

Everytime I try to fly, I crash and burn.

And let's be honest, it's hard to hide extra baby weight in that lycra suit.

I need to cut myself some slack. Learn to let go. Learn when to say, "You know what, yes the kitchen is a mess but I am going to sit and play with my kid because the dishes can wait."

But why is it so hard to do that? Why can't I accept that the house will never be immaculate, that there will always be a few toys lying around and another dish to clean. I know that's life and the season we are in but I tend to nag myself about how things "should" be.

"I should have the house super clean, I should be teaching my kid his phonetics, I should be doing baby excercises with baby girl, I should be excercising myself, I should find time to hang out with friends, I should have longer quiet times, I should pray more, I should not eat that, I should shave my legs, I should have a four course meal, I should..."

And the list goes on.

So I'm trying. Trying to remember that this week my sweet baby boy will turn 3 and he won't always want me to stop what I'm doing and play. He won't say in his precious lisp, "Pwease mommy, pway wit me." I will remember that getting baby girl to laugh that sweet little gurgly laugh, like she did today for the first time, is more precious than dusting or sweeping.

I'm gonna say no to the guilt. I'm going to keep my house as orderly as I can without having that desire for perfection overtake anything else. I'm gonna love my kids and serve my husband.

I'm gonna try.

"Father help me remember to trust you. To know that I have no one else to please but you. Help me learn that if all I do one day is play with and love on my kids...well that is an accomplished day. Help me to learn that I don't have to prove anything or be anything more than what you desire of me. Help me to run this home as you desire. To teach my children to follow you and that they may see you through me in every thing I do. Thank you for always teaching me and helping me grow. In your precious name. Amen"

2009-01-24T20:56:00.003-06:00

"Once upon a time there was this young mother who almost had a nervous breakdown! She was tired, sick, had a huge tension headache which was not in anyway relieved by the high pitched screams of her 3 week old daughter. And of course, at the moment when she was worn thin, her two and a half year old son desperately needed her attention. She was in great despair and overwhelmed with frustration, guilt and defeat."

That was last Thursday.

The day had started off just ok. Despite all the hand sanitizing, Emma still managed to catch the nasty cold that is going around. Poor baby was super congested and no matter how much I sucked out of her little bitty nose, the mucus was overflowing!

The night had been better than the previous and I was fooled into thinking she was getting better. By mid afternoon, I started to feel the congestion hit.

I picked up Sammy from school and put in a movie for him while I fed Emma.

She had a hard time feeding, she started to scream...it was all downhill from there.

From about 2:30 to almost 5 she did not stop crying. Her feeding was all crazified because she would drink a bit and then scream, drink a bit and scream...etc.

I was at my wits end. I had no idea what to do. I kept sucking stuff out and she screamed louder. She was being overdosed with Saline and gripe water.

Then, of course, I was needed by my precious boy. He had left us alone for the most part for the first hour and in he comes..."Momma I want you to watch TV wit me. Pwease mommy?"

And the guilt poured down.

He kept saying, "Pwease mommy, come watch it wit me."

I tried to explain that baby was sick, but he kept saying, "but I want you."

So I lied and said I would be there in one minute.

Tears began to pour down my eyes. I was overwhelmed. I was feeling very sick , my head and body were aching and my precious baby girl would not stop screaming.

I had failed. I wasn't a great mommy. I had put my kid in front of the tv and left him there. I couldn't pacify my baby. I couldn't meet any one's needs. The feeling of confidence that I had days before when I thought, "Hey, I can do two kids. This ain't so bad..." those thought mocked me.

And finally, because I am still learning to give control to God and go to him first instead of fixing it all on my own, I began to pray.

You know the one..."Lord I can't do this, I'm desperate. HELP!!!"

My pathetic plea. And I have to ask myself...when will I ever learn. And as always, My God comes through.

I began to pray. And I desperately said, "Lord, I need help. I need encouragement. I'm being pulled and I can't handle this Lord. I need to know that someone loves me and is praying for me right now."

I'm not kidding you...a moment later my phone rings.

It's my dad.

In my life, my dad is my encourager,my support and mostly my reminder. Whenever things aren't going well or I am starting to doubt, he reminds me...to be strong in the Lord and the power of his might... To wait upon the Lord... That Joy comes in the morning... That he will give me the desires of my heart... That He will supply all my needs... To trust in the Lord with all my heart...

I pick up the phone and immediately start to blubber. I can't do this, I'm so tired, I am failing miserably, etc."

And he says, "Let me see what I can do, stop crying, be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might and I will call you back."

He calls back and says, ok, your mom is going to go over and spend the night so you can rest and feel better.

The baby finally fell asleep. I sat on the couch and watched the movie with my son and my mother came over and I slept all night.

God came through...he heard me, like he always does.

I have the best dad's in the world!

"Father, how many times have I been through this. How many times do I lose hope and strength. So many times I feel like I am failing and that I can't do this and then I am reminded that I can with you alone. You are my strength. I can do all things through You who gives me strength. Father, thank you for showing me how much you love me through the parents you have given me. Thank you for their wisdom and love for you. Please continue to give me strength. In your precious name, Amen."

A New Year...

2009-01-14T19:29:00.003-06:00

Ok so...we have been up and down this week with various victories and defeats occurring in our household.

But...at the end of the day I have made a very conscious decision. A state of mind that I may at times have difficulty sticking with. Nonetheless...I'm going to do my best to stick.

Many of my readers, family and friends know that 2008 was not a good year. I would even go so far as to make a bumper sticker that says, "I HATE 2008," were it not for the precious baby girl that arrived as the most wonderful Christmas gift.

2008 began badly which included a very not so great family vacation, an ear infection and a very bad cold.

It continued on with more familial issues which led to a downfall for me. Anxiety, fear, overwhelming lack of self esteem, anger and resentment and no control over anything.

I fasted and prayed. Got a little better and then got pregnant. Not necessarily planned but I was learning that I couldn't plan everything. I was a bit nervous but excited.

And then came the nausea. I was overwhelmed with guilt that I wasn't paying attention to my son and was a bad wife because I could not do the things that I pride myself on like keeping the house clean or cooking dinner.

I started feeling better...life began to get back to some normalcy. My husband and I had a great get away. And a few weeks later, my husbands beloved grandfather passes. We grieved and mourned.

One month later Ike hit our home and down poured into my son's room.

3 days later, completely unexpectedly and with no warning, my precious grandmother passes. I still can't believe it. Even as I write these words my heart hurts. There are moments where I can't comprehend or...I don't know.

Life was in many ways unbearable. I was living in fear of "what is going to happen next." Nothing was controllable. I couldn't plan for my baby's arrival because the house was disheveled.

Of course, everything got done...almost at the last moment, but it was completed.

So now you see why 2008 was not a fun year.

But just as God promised, he gave me my reward. A precious gift all dimply and sweet. And perfect.

Everything has been perfect. She came at a perfect time, where both daddy and brother were able to bond and get to know baby girl and help me so much as I recovered. Delivery was easy. Recovery was easy. Perfect.

And despite the perfect I have found myself complaining. I am sure they are normal, "I have a newborn" complaints. But honestly, I am getting rather sick of them.

And I finally realized that yes, life is tiring right now, but God...I am so blessed. My baby is healthy and good and beautiful. I can tell she is going to be a sweetheart already. And my son...he is just amazing. He adores her and loves on her and I know he will protect her even when she doesn't want to be protected. And my husband...he loves us so much. He is my helper.

So...I'm done complaining. This year is a new year. And it has begun with such perfection and so many blessing that I am believing that it will completely blot out the last. All I will remember are the good not the hurt.

This year I will rejoice in the Lord always...

"Father thank you for a new day. Thank you that you have blessed me above and beyond. Thank you for the lessons you have taught me so that I will be able to teach them to my children. You are so good. Help me to never forget...In your precious name. Amen."

Demand Feeding

2009-01-11T21:11:00.002-06:00

I am an advocate for putting baby on a schedule asap. Baby girl has been giving me some problems thus far.

First of all she sleeps ALL THE TIME. Except of course around 4 in teh morning when she decides she is going to be all bright eyed! But, we are working on that and I am trying to keep her up as much as possible. Today, for example, she was awake for almost 5 hours. Not bad...we'll see how she fares tonight. The great thing is that she is rather easy going...I mean who isn't when you sleep 20 hours per day. Tonight for example, she was pretty much asleep when I put her down. I went out to fill the humidifier, came back in and her eyes were wide open. She wasn't crying or fussing she just laid there. I left her and she went to sleep. What a good girl!

SO...I am praying that this week we can get on a schedule and if I have to be mean I will be. By that I mean that if I have to wake her up each time by taking her clothes off and putting cold rags on her...I will.

The funny this is that my son doesn't want her on a schedule. He is a demand feeder. Everytime she starts to fuss or cry he comes to me and says..."Mommy, she's hungry. It's time to eat." And I say, " no she just ate a little while ago." "His reply, "I don't think so mommy, she needs to eat."

So we are of two different opinions in this home and I guess we will see who prevails!

"Father, I am so tired. I have forgotten how hard it is to get up every three hours. Help our rest be sweet and peaceful. Help me have wisdom as to know what to do. Help me love on my kids and give them what they need. In your precious name..."

Sleep is so over rated!

2009-01-05T15:29:00.004-06:00

As I type this I'm thinking to myself...why am I not sleeping?

Hmmm...Oh yeah, because I have a whole list of things to do that are never ending!

My precious baby girl is wonderful. She is very sweet and rarely ever cries except when she is unswaddled, undressed, changed and cold. As soon as I wrap her up, she's good.

Of course, a two week old is very intelligent and can be rather manipulative.

Last night, for example, we discovered that she loves to be held. In fact, she can sleep in your arms for hours. BUT...as soon as I lay her down...here come the protests, the screams and the tears. The frustration is mutual.

So we spent a few hours letting her cry a little, then hold her...cry a little...hold her again until she finally gave up.

The good thing is, she wasn't quite as adamant as her big brother was at this age...he didn't give up and would be wet from sweat and tears! So atleast that tells me that I only have one strong willed child!

The great thing is that she sleeps about 20 hours. Atleast one of us does! The problem is that one of those hours is concentrated at around 3:00 am. So I am trying to keep her up as much as possible during the day. One of the hardest things to do. I mean seriously...I am a little boring, but this child nods off at the site of me.

And her father isn't much help. He holds her and tells her how beautiful she is and she dozes off into dream land!

So I am writing down all she does during the day to see if I can make a schedule for her so that she isn't awake at 3:00. So far...she has been awake for about 3 hours today so we'll cross our fingers.

The other issue we are having is that during the day, she sleeps with no problem...but at night...she gets all congested and restless and noisy! I mean...she is asleep but not fully asleep. I don't know. All I know is that she moves and squeaks non stop. At first I was thinking...it's gas. I burp her but it continues. Then I think...it's still gas...so in goes a drop of mylicon. Nothing. She's not hungry so...? Who knows. I put a noise machine on near her basket thinking she needs noise...it kinda works. And then I realized...she is stuffed up. Of course the weather here has been CRAZY...hot then cold, etc. And one little boogie in her nose will clog her up...so I take the blue thing and squeeze as much gook as I can out...she screams...the saline goes in...more screams...and then she is off to sleep. 5 minutes later the squeaking begins.

And whoever said that "rainforest noises" were relaxing was wrong.

So...maybe I can get a quick nap in before the night begins!

For more tackles, click here...

"Father, please give us a good night tonight. Please let my baby girl slepp peacefully and let her rest be sweet. Please let her learn to put herself to sleep. You are so good. In your precious name..."

From 3 to 4

2009-01-03T22:43:00.005-06:00

My goodness it has been a while since I have been on here...But what can I say, we have been a little busy.

On December 21st, my sweet precious baby girl finally arrived!

Emma Gabrielle came into this world at 7 lbs. 10 oz and 18 in. long. She is perfect and beautiful and very sweet and so far a very good baby!

Big Brother is in love and over the moon and has been absolutely wonderful. A huge praise on that point because I was a bit worried as to how he was going to react but he has been awesome.

So here we are adjusting to life as a family of four. We are a little tired but very, very happy and thankful.

I hope to get into a routine this next week and that my blogging will get into that routine as well, because I miss it. But in the meantime, I will leave you with some pics!

"Dear precious Lord, Thank you. What more can I say? I am overwhelmingly greatful and in awe of how good you are. We are so blessed. Thank you Jesus for my perfect baby girl, for her sweet and wonderful big brother and for my amazing husband who has been my greatest helper. I am overwhelmed. In Your name..."

So much has been done and still so much to do...

2008-11-19T20:27:00.004-06:00

Ok, so I know it's been a month since I have written anything, but let me just say it has been a CRAZY month!

Everything has finally and is finally back in it's place and restored including my sanity!

The roof was finally fixed and according to my son, it's no longer "waining" in his room. The walls were torn down and replaced, repainted and he has been back in his room for about 3 weeks now! He also has a big boy bed and he is loving the ability to jump up and down on it.

And to make things even better, Daddy stayed home the week after big boy's room was fixed to paint and prettify baby girl's room. It look FABULOUS and BEAUTIFUL and PERFECT!!!

I know, you want pictures, and I will get those to you all next week when I have a camera after Black Friday! Mine broke not too long ago so I have been without a camera for about 2 months now but alas, they are selling one at Target for $89 the day after thanksgiving and so I will be there with the rest of the crazies at 5 so I can get a good deal. Afterwhich, I will post pictures.

In the meantime I am almost finished with all the bedding and let me say it is looking pretty good. My husband was rather impressed with my sewing abilities, as I am to be honest. It actually hasn't been that difficult and I am pretty proud. All I have left is the bumper which shouldn't be too difficult...I am almost done with all the cutting and that seems to be the most annoying part. So the plan is to have everything done by next week!

I have completed her moses basket as well adn so, let me just say, next week you will be getting lots of pictures of all the fun pink stuff I have been doing.

So...I am off to finish the quilt and promise to write some more very soon!

Beautiful...Crazy...Life

2008-10-28T21:50:00.003-05:00

Ok life has been CRAZY!

If you look at the right of your screen you will see that I have about 62 days left before beautiful baby girl makes her way into our world. That's like 10 weeks or something...which I am still talking days not weeks because if I think weeks that just freaks me out a little.

Anyways, I have been working like a crazy lady trying to get as much as I can do, done.

I don't remember if I ever posted about the turmoil that good 'ol Ike caused our household...let's just say...he was not our friend.

Unfortunately our home suffered damage mostly to my son's room which cause everything in the house to be basically upside down for a while.

We moved crazy kid into the what will be nursery. If my camera was working I would show you a pic, but alas, I fell and broke that so...more on that later.

Imagine with me...in one room we have baby's crib and dresser, crazy's toddler bed, rocking chair, a desk (room use to be office), and a huge antique armoire. All in a 12 x 10 room. I think I actually posted about this in my last post now that I think about it so see...rather traumatic.

Anyways, the great news is that after about a month and a half of no progress whatsoever and a game room filled with everything that was in my sons room...the room will be fixed, walls torn down and replaced, painted, etc. etc. by THURSDAY!!!!

Oh happy day!

Thank being said...I also was able to get lost of sewing done and everything is starting to look really great for baby girl. In fact, her room will be painted the base coat on Thursday as well. Then her wonderful daddy is staying home all next week to work on the prettifying of the room which includes wainscotting and diamonds ( I promise to find a camera and take a pic for everyone to see once it is all done!).

So that is where we are. We are planning to fix up crazy's room some, change it up a bit, though not too much because he loves his safari themed room. He is a huge animal fan and we didn't want to change too much at one time so we are just going to add some fun pieces and make it newer.

So...that's where we are. I will continue to update you on the progress.

You have no ideas how thrilled I am that everything is FINALLY falling into place. Beautiful!

"Thank you Jesus that things are starting to look up some. That both my babies will have new, perfect rooms. Continue to give me energy to finish all the planning that I have not been able to do much lately. Thank you for a husband who so diligently got everything done so he could destress me as much as possible. In your precious name, Amen."

Norm

2008-10-16T21:19:00.003-05:00

I have lost something. I can't find it. No matter how hard I try, everytime I get close to grabbing it, it slips out of my hand. What have I lost? you ask.

The normal. Normalcy. Normal living. Normal life.

Norm.

Where have you gone my friend? It has been such a long time since you and I fell into our same ol' pattern. Our ways and habits of yesterday are lost.

Norm left me sometime this summer...actually, perhaps it was earlier this spring.

He didn't want to be around when I was sick and yucky and green. Trying to fight the nausea.

He came back for a short while. A very short while and then left once more with the loss of our patriarch and since then he never really returned. He surely did not come back since Ike came around and so here we are.

Ike really scared him. Norm is nowhere to be found.

My son, for example is still in his baby sister's room. As he states, "It's raining in my room." And is still not fixed. Hopefully the three walls, ceiling and door frame will be fixed inteh next few weeks, but in the meanwhile, his bed is crammed into his sister's room which is holding her crib, her dresser/changing table, our old computer desk, chair and antique armoire. All that in a 10x 13 room.

And when I though maybe norm was about to make his appearance this week. When crazy kid and I finally fell into a nice weekly routine...Monday we clean, have quiet time and go grocery shopping, Tuesday we run errands, spend some quite time, go to the park...Wednesday we go to school, Thursday, another day at school, and Friday a fun day. We had maybe two weeks of that and then...here comes virus. And norm, again lost.

So this is what we are coming out of...someday.

Oh norm, will you ever return?

"Father I am desiring some kind of normalcy. I need some kind of control and my lack of control is really overtaking me. I want something, anything to go according to plan. I know I have to trust you but Lord...I'm having a hard time. Help me to really and truly give it to you and let you deal with it all. I want to be able to do that, but my head is fighting you. Help me give it all up Lord. In your precious name, Amen."

Blog loss

2008-10-13T09:28:00.003-05:00

So...I know I have been avaoiding my blog lately. Life has been rather difficult in many aspects and I have just been tired. Of course so much is going on, good and ok, and I could write and tell my readers all kinds of stuff but I am just trying to get my mind wrapped around everything. So, give me one more day and I promise I will have a great read tomorrow! Lots of love.

Positive Thinking

2008-09-28T22:05:00.003-05:00

I would usually consider myself to be a positive person. See the glass half full kinda girl. You know...optimistic.

Lately...the optimism has wavered...well, actually it is almost non existent.

And the thing is, despite all the bad that has occurred lately; despite the storms we have faced, teh tragedy and sheer stress of everything there is so much good that is going on as well.

I want so much to focus on that good. To be optimistic where I can see that it definitely outwieghs the bad but I am struggling to do so.

My days are filled with different struggles both emotionally and mentally...I see all these things that are out of my control and I feel like crumbling.

But then there are glimpses of pure joy, excitement and contentment that I can't deny. Sweet moments of watching my son play or goof around and be the perfect little guy he is. Planning the baby room and starting on allthe projects I desire to do for her. Having my husband love on me because I know he wants most of all for me to be me again. To be happy all the time like I use to be.

But those moments are awashed with anxiousness, fear and tormenting thoughts. I want desperately to control my thinking but it's hard. I want to be me and be happy and get over the mourning but it's hard.

I know there is a light somewhere. I know what I have to do if only I could get my heart in the right place.

"Father I am desperate for hope. I am desperate for joy. I am desperate for rest. You know all the struggles we are facing right now. You know the struggles I am facing. Carry me through this...drag me if you have to, but help me to feel your comfort and know you are working it all for good. My mind knows to trust you, my mind knows to have faith and to give it all to you to take care of...but my heart is struggling. My heart is what needs to be mended. I give it to you. In your precious name, Amen."

Mama Estela

2008-09-22T19:25:00.003-05:00

Estela - of latin origin meaning "Star."

On February 16th, 1929 a star came into the world.

It was not an ordinary star. Perhaps it did not shine as bright as others; perhaps this star was not as glorious; but from the moment she took her first breath to her last, this star was constant, steadfast, and faithful.

In 1945, at the age of 16, Estella Morales married Jaime Aldana in Guatemala City, Guatemala and thus, she began her life as the wife of a minister and evangelist. From the beginning she was called to be the star that would encourage, direct and strengthen her husband and future family.

Jaime and Estella Aldana traveled all throughout Central America spreading the good news of Christ. Many days were filled with hardships and fear, yet her courage and strength always shone bright in the midst of turmoil. When others around them abandoned them and renounced their God, Estella stood firm in her faith and at her husband’s side as they continued on their journey.

In 1963, she sacrificed all that she knew and was familiar with and left her home for the United States. Jaime had been called to plant one of the first Spanish speaking churches on the Texas border and so, with her husband and children, they began a new life.

Once in the U.S, life was not easy. Though without family or friends nearby and unable to speak the language, never once did Estella’s spark falter or fade.

Many times she could have given up.
Many times she could have broken faith.
She never did.

She paid many prices and sacrificed much so that her family would learn that no matter what, she was faithful, because her God was always faithful.

So, with ten children of various ages to feed, she took stride and did all she could do for her children’s sake. For years she worked two jobs, cleaning hotel rooms and offices while still assisting her husband at their church and singing in the choir. Through the years she became a prayer warrior and every day, without fail, she unceasingly lifted up prayers for her children and grandchildren.

Time went on. Battles of life continued, but Estella still remained constant, steadfast and faithful.

When her husband suffered various strokes; when he could no longer walk or speak, she became his voice. She became his loyal star that never once left his side until he went to be with their Savior.

And she continued to shine bright for her family, a family that had grown to overflowing for she was blessed to have loved 10 children, 18 grandchildren and 7 great-grandchildren.

To her family she was a light source. She was radiant and bright. She helped guide them when life was dark and made clear their uncertain paths. She was a comfort, and encourager and friend.

It is because of her faithfulness to Christ that her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren are also faithful to Him.

She was constant, steadfast and faithful and such beams that shone through her will continue to shine through them and towards our Heavenly Father.

Dedicated to Paula Estela Aldana or "Mamaestela"
February 16, 1929 - September 17, 2008

~Con todo mi amor~

Faltering

2008-09-18T12:33:00.003-05:00

One month ago yesterday my husband's grandfather passed.
Yesterday morning my sweet grandmother passed.
The hurricane hit on Friday and took pieces of our roof with it. My son's room is basically unlivable - carpet is up and damaged, sheet rock is damage, windows and doors are damaged.

My faith has faltered. My strength is gone. I can't find any joy or peace. My trust in God is lacking. I'm tired.

I'm worried about my baby. I pray that atleast God is protecting her so that she won't feel the pain I am feeling.

All I can do is whisper these lyrics in prayer because I am having a hard time with anyother words...

I'm at a loss for words, there's nothing to say
I sit in silence wondering what led me to this place How did my heart become so lifeless and cold Where did the passion go?

When all my efforts seem like chasing wind. I've used up all my strength and there's nothing left to give. I've lost the feeling and I'm down to the core, I can't fake it anymore.

Here I am at the end, I'm in need of resurrection. Only You can take this empty shell and raise it from the dead.

What I've lost to the world, what seems far beyond redemption, You can take the pieces in Your hand and make me whole again, again.

You speak and all creation falls to its knees. You raise Your hand and calm the waves of the raging sea. You have a way of turning winter to spring. Make something beautiful out of all this suffering.

Here I am once again I'm in need of resurrection. Only You can take this empty shell and raise it from the dead. What I've lost to the world what seems far beyond redemption. You can take the pieces in Your hand and make me whole again, again.

You have a way of turning winter to spring Make something beautiful out of all this suffering.

Nicol Sonberg - Ressurection

Precious Sights

2008-09-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

I just left my son to be put to bed by his father.

It was a rather precious sight and I wish with every ounce of me that I could capture that moment on film.

Just snap away and keep it with me.

Crazy kid is a big boy for his age I guess. One pound for all 37 inches of him. Most days I think, "My goodness child you are so big," especially when I haven't gotten any smaller and when trying to carry said 37 lbs. up the stairs because he fell asleep in the car is quite a challenge.

But today, I looked at him and thought, "He is still so small." His head reaches the door knob.

I watched my husband sit down on the rocker and my son jump into his lap, he looked so small and precious. Of course not anything like those first few months of tinyness, but still small.

He curled up in his father's lap and rested his head on his chest.

Oh my.

He is so independant and very strong willed and sometimes, no, many times, throughout the day I have a hard time parenting. Many times I feel very unsuccessful at this whole mothering thing.

Sometimes I think life would be easier if he were one of those easy going kind of kids. He isn't. He has an opinion and he will not let up.

And then I think, I am gald he is so strong willed. It is a great trait and if we do a good job, maybe he will turn that into great confidence and a strong mind of his own that won't follow the crowd or be swayed in wrong directions.

And tonight as I looked at my two boys holding each other I thought, this kid is the best kid in the world. How long will he fit into his father's arms? Worse, how long will he want to fit into his father's arms? How long will he want mine?

He is so sweet and charming and funny. And he loves us. He loves me. And man, do I love him. I could never ask for anything better. And even though he may test me, his personality is making me into a better person. He teaches me more than I could teach him.

I could never ask for anything more.

"Father, thank you for my son. He is such a precious gift. Thank you for his personality, his spirit, his fun loving nature and his charm. Father I know I am not the best mom, no matter how much I try or even sometimes pretend to be, but I just figured out that even if I am not, he thinks I am. He teaches me things all day long and I thank you for that. Protect my baby, keep him small a little while longer and mostly, let me remember and treasure these moments forever. And let him grow into the man you desire him to be. In your precious name, Amen. "

Bitten

2008-09-08T08:00:00.000-05:00

I am not feeling well today. I have had a sinus infection for the past few days and it has not been much fun. There must be something in the air because it came on rather quickly and with little effort. This is my second sinus infection since being pregnant. I told you about the first here and so far...I am not very happy about it.

My husband and son have both been sick as well. My son has been more sniffily and either he just isn't phased by it or he copes much better than the two of us.

My husband is feeling much better now. He has had quite an advantage being that he can take meds that help him sleep while I suffer through the night, plagued by nastiness and a sore throat. My only comfort is the vicks and chloreseptic spray that sit by the bed.

In fact, my husband had two shots of nyquil last night and even though I kissed him hard right after he drank the medicine, I, unfortunately, did not gain anything from it.

The worst of it is that I have been bitten.
Yup.
Bitten by the nesting bug. And thus far, few of my attempts have succeeded.

I fianlly got the piece that I needed for my sewing machine, but alas, (you don't hear that word much anymore...alas...I have been re-reading my anne of green gables series and I had to use it), the machine for some reason isn't working. I have looked through the manual, online and have changed everything I needed to change, i.e. needle, tension, etc. and yet nothing seems to work. I even cleaned it some and still...nothing. The thread keeps like bunching underneath inside the groovy thing and I can't seem to figure out why. So, sewing a burp cloth took me 1 hour instead of 10 minutes.

My husband said he would buy me a new one and I am going to take him up on that because I need a new, good one to sew all the projects I have in mind for baby girl.

Nonetheless, I did manage to clean out my "Monica closet," being our downstairs closet. It was scary...I call it my Monica closet, alluding of course to FRIENDS, you know, the one where Monica won't let Chandler into the back closet and he flips out wondering why and thinking she is hiding Richard back there and when he finally gets it open it turns out that closet is super messy and overloaded with junk. Picture a closet with so much stuff in it you can't walk in...yeah, that WAS my "Monica closet."

But now it is clean. Yea me!

And then I organzied our video trunk. Somehome all the videos and DVD we have had been carelessly thrown into that trunk with no organization whatsoever so...I cleaned it and put all the DVD's together and all the vidoes together. Looks good.

So, even though I don't feel great, I got some stuff done. But there is so much more!

"Dear Lord, heal my head and nose and throat father. Help me sleep tonight. I really need my rest. Help my husband and son feel better and evaporate all teh germs in the house. Help me to get all that I need to get done, done. I feel the need to revamp everything so give me the energy and time to do so. You are so good. In your precious name, Amen."

Spanish Speakers

2008-09-05T08:00:00.000-05:00

One of our goals is to teach our kids Spanish.
Both my husband and I speak Spanish fluently. We were fortunate and blessed to have spoken it consistently in our homes when we were growing up.

I actually went into Kindergarten speaking broken english with a slight accent. Of course, I caught on rather quickly and actually lost some of my speaking skills. I could always understand it very well and I speak it well, though not often. Now I speak spanish with a slight english accent.

My husband, on the other hand speaks spanish more regularly than I. He has used it throughout his career and since both of his parents and grandparents mainly speak spanish, he always converses with them in it.

Our second language became quite handy in school. I breezed through my courses in High School and got 6 college hours from my AP scores, plus another 4 hours from a CLEP test. My husband did the same and earned 12 hours from the CLEP tests.

We always promised ourselves that our kids would learn Spanish. It is very important to us. Of course, not until recently did we discover that this was going to be a challenge.

The thing is...we don't really speak Spanish at home.

Sometimes when we are talking about people in a nearby vicinity we will speak in Spanish, hoping they don't understand. And then, when he is being mean or taking something too far and we are in other company I will snap at him in Spanish and tell him to quit soon. And then, of course, when we are trying to make a decision without others knowing what we are talking about we pull out our Spanish.

Our friends don't particularly like this and probably get annoyed when we do these things but...what can I say, we are blessed to have this secret language!

So, as I stated before, we are trying to speak more Spanish at home so our kid can pick it up and learn our native language.

So far, this is what he knows...

1. Gracias - Thank You (though he feels he must translate this everytime I say it. I say, "Gracias" and he responds "Thank you." I try to prompt him to say, "De nada," or "your welcome," but for some reason he isn't getting that one.

2. Hola and Adios (though he says the latter with a very gringo accent...I guess we will tackle one thing at a time!)

3. Te quiero - I love you.

4. Mucho - Very much.

5. He can count to 5, though he skips the three, but he skipped three in english for a very long time so...subconciously he does not like the number 3.

6. Mas - more.

Then...we have the other list. The not so appropriate list...and here goes...

1. Conio - This a mostly Cuban term and it means...darn it, sorta.

2. Vaya te Lucy - Go away Lucy (our dog. She is loved, just annoying.)

3. Puchica - um...meaning, for crying out loud, but not so nice. It's like saying Shut instead of S#$&. Kinda, at least that's the idea.

4. Huevitos - Little balls...don't think too hard about this one.

So...I think we are on the right track!

Whoa Mommy...

2008-09-03T08:00:00.000-05:00

Monday morning we all happily slept in a bit. We had spent Sunday at a cousin's house swimming and having a great time.

Crazy did not take a nap at all the previous day which was not planned, but luckily for us he managed very well since he was having so much fun swimming with his cousins.

So, due to the lack of sleep, he managed to sleep quite late on Monday. My husband was greatly relieved because he played just as hard as little one...In fact, I'm not sure who had more fun. After 5 hours of volleyball, basketball and animal ball, he was very sore and tired.

Crazy finally trotted down the stairs and climbed into bed with us. He loves it when daddy is home because his routine is to come downstairs and roll around the bed and wrestle with him. Where am I? On the edge of the bed trying to get just a few more seconds of sleep while at the same time trying not to get jabbed.

His new thing is to lift up my shirt and say hi to the baby. He hugs my tummy and says, "Hi baby, what you doin? Taking a bath. Ok baby." I don't know where he picked this up from but this is his little saying to her every day.

He then will proceed to hug "the baby," i.e. my tummy, and kiss the baby and then he will schulerbert the baby.

Well this morning he begins his routine, gets on his knees and tries to lift my shirt. Then, all of a sudden he falls onto his knees and and with big round eyes he says, "Whoa mommy, your tummy's big!"

My husband and I laugh! And I say, "baby is getting bigger." He nods his head in disbelief and pulls up his shirt and says, "My tummy's little but yours is big mama."

So...I guess my tummy is getting big!

"Father, thank you for a healthy, growing baby. Thank you for a sweet brother who loves his sister so much even now. Lord help me as I go into the last few months of this perfect pregnancy. Help me sleep and not be anxious. Help me stay healthy and help me be strong. And give my husband the desire to massage my back every day! Seriously, that would be nice, but mostly help him meet my needs...it's hard chasing after a rambunctious toddler and getting bigger every day (that is for the both of us!). Thank you for such a good and caring husband. Protect us. In your precious name, Amen."